to think she really can't leave

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

I picked up ds and his gf from uni yesterday. Gf is an international EU student and can't go home as no flights/lockdown etc. They have been together 2 years but we don't know her very well as they met at uni and in holidays she goes back home.

They were both upset yesterday as all their friends had suddenly gone and the enormity of what was happening hit them I think. I had said for the last couple of weeks that she was welcome to be with us.

In the car on the way home she suddenly said that her aunt, who lives in London, would come to our house at the weekend to collect her so she would only be staying with us for a few days. I said that wouldn't be allowed as aunt would be making a 90 minute non-essential journey to our house. She seems to think that this will be ok as she will be going to stay with her only relative in the UK.

I get that the prospect of living with people she doesn't know very well is daunting. Plus she and ds would be forced to sty in hi room for most of the time as DH, DS1. and I will all be wfh and needing the downstairs space during the day. But I really don't think she should go to London.

At the end of the day she and her aunt are both adults and if the aunt turns up I can't stop gf from going but AIBU to think this is contrary to what they should be doing?

YABU - she just needs to head to her aunts ASAP and you need to help that process....this could go on for months fgs!

I believe ' going home' or as close as possible is fine.

I think this is a reasonable proposal in the circumstances. Just follow the social distancing rules with the aunt obviously.

FFS you people saying it's 'essential' that she's with her family.

You make me despair, you really do.

We are in this unprecedented scenario because of people like YOU.

You should be ashamed, you really should. But you won't be, will you.

DowntonAbbey quit with the histrionics. Allowing people to go home where they will be in isolation for the foreseeable future, probably for months, is essential. The government is even allowing people to move between countries to get home. An asymptomatic person making a 90 minute journey to get home is a reasonable exception.

The British people are in this scenario mainly because of government inaction during the crucial period, not because of asymptomatic people trying to get home.

If it is not, why is it OK that the OP went to get her DS and GF in the first place, instead of leaving them where they were?

leave work early and carefully drive her there myself, today I have visions of you weighing up early, slow and careful today, or, bugger it - let's be late, fast and reckless tomorrow 🚜🚔🚗🚘🚗🚗🤪

"DowntonAbbey quit with the histrionics."

Tbh I think that Downton has a point.

This girl should have left some time ago if she wanted to get home.

Failing that, gone to her Aunt's yesterday.

It can't have taken people by surprise that this was going to happen.

What is the point of a lockdown if people are going to find reasons to go from one household to another?

Ok I do think there can be som exceptions. She should be able to go stay either aunt I can’t imagine how uncomfortable she would feel in your house especially as she doesn’t know you that well and the lockdown could be for months

The order is crystal clear.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/874742/Full_guidance_on_staying_at_home_and_away_from_others__1_.pdf

1. STAYING AT HOME

You should only leave the house for one of four reasons.

● Shopping for basic necessities, for example food and medicine, which must be as infrequent as possible.
● One form of exercise a day, for example a run, walk, or cycle - alone or with members of your household.
● Any medical need, or to provide care or to help a vulnerable person.
● Travelling to and from work, but only where this absolutely cannot be done from home.

These four reasons are exceptions - even when doing these activities, you should be minimising time spent outside of the home and ensuring you are 2 metres apart from anyone outside of your household.

Every citizen is instructed to stay at home

"Every citizen is instructed to stay at home"

She isn't a citizen and doesn't have a permanent home in the UK, so she's an exceptional circumstance. She needs to make a one off journey to be settled in the UK, with a family member.

Someone who can contact other family members, or if she ended up in hospital, her own embassy etc and know all her details.

I know people who are stil leaving the UK and are having to travel to London to get flights (the only flights put on). This is allowed, not everyone could leave immediately.

DowntownAbby
"FFS you people saying it's 'essential' that she's with her family."

It's important, as a non national that she has a point of contact close by, who will take responsibility for her. It's a big ask for the OP to do that. There'll be no part time work for students to puck up, as they normally would. There's going to be financial hardship. Likewise it makes more sense for her Aunt to not be alone.

" She needs to make a one off journey to be settled in the UK, with a family member."

Then this at least needs doing asap?

If Op is 12miles from a station, there's no reason why the GF can't be undertaking the journey today?

It's important to her that she is with her Aunt. I am sure it will be fine.

@Ponoka7

You are clearly one of those people who will ignore the orders from the government, and just carry on doing what they want.

What I posted was directly from the government site. It is their bold, not mine.

Every citizen must stay at home

They are making it as simple as possible because so many people have proved unable to understand/follow previous instructions.

It is very obvious that 'every citizen' means 'everyone', put in the simplest terms possible whilst instilling a sense of community and togetherness. And 'stay at home' means not travelling, not going out, not moving between houses.

It obviously does not mean 'British nationals must stay at home but those with foreign passports can do as they please if they have decided doing something else is essential'.

People putting their own interpretation on the orders is what will result in the armed forces on the streets next.

I doubt that the Op is actually going to have much authority over her sons girlfriend who she barely knows.

Must say I'm surprised that they've left it this long to take any action.

"Must say I'm surprised that they've left it this long to take any action."

Well yes-flights have been available until relatively recently haven't they?

There has been notice about people getting home in case flights stop.

In her defence, I think she was planning to spend the Easter holidays in the UK because she has finals coming up so wanted to study. Even when the uni closed down a couple of weeks ago they thought they'd be returning for the summer term.

How long ago was it that Johnson was saying there was 'zero chance' of London being locked down?

10 days? 15/3 Sunday's papers had stories about Cummings leaking the rumour that a lock-down was under discussion.

Anyone who thinks people should have known about everything that's happening now should read the piece in the Guardian detailing the timeline of his announcements. Sometimes, he's done a 180 degree turn in a couple of days.

And please will posters stop calling other posters stupid and saying that the advice was crystal clear. If it was that clear, you wouldn't have had Gove saying one thing last night about split families and the opposite this morning.