...his mum had made a real effort and got my baby to finger paint a plant pot and plant me a little flower, i was heartbroken seeing as I had gone all out for his first l Father’s Day. I guess men just don’t get it
While it was nice of his mum to make the effort, she really should have told him that he should honour his own wife, the mother of his children, on Mothers Day, and that a phone call would be enough for her.
Men 'don't get it' when they are brought up by mothers who pick up their slack for years and years and years, and of course fathers who take women for granted and look down their noses at women and 'women's work' and believe they are superior to them in every respect.
You need to start laying down the law with this man, you need to tell his mother to tell him how to behave, or you need to start making plans to leave. None of that will be easy. But if you want the future to look like the past then stick around and don't try rocking the boat.
No taking over toddler night duties or baby feeding, or kitchen duties for your H?
This is pure disrespect.
He is enjoying making work for you, disrespecting your time and energy, seeing you run ragged while he snoozes on the couch.
The calling you lazy is verbal, emotional (and psychological) abuse. He is tearing you down and he will eventually destroy you.
You need to try to change everything about your relationship and if your H is resistant then start making serious plans to separate, or your own children will find themselves in a home where there are sides to be taken. It's a terrible environment for children. It tears them apart emotionally to see their mum bullied and disrespected.
You have one life, and your children have one childhood.