Someone else using your garden

[PlinkiePlonk]

More of a wwyd. My in-laws have a habit of looking to take advantage but generally we get on so it’s manageable.

On the phone earlier to MIL who told DH and myself about how SIL’s young son keeps going to SIL with his boots on asking to go outside because whilst they have a garden (though not big) and we are in the country, the restrictions are a problem.

We have a much bigger garden so us. Wing stick in is annoying but tbh we can get on with stuff we have been meaning to do.

So if there was a request, would you say that they could use the garden whilst you stayed in the house? Would you offer without them asking as it would be a nice thing to offer?

On the one hand I do have to reference their general nature and I do wonder about MIL relating that to us but on other side I am genuinely ‘yeah, whatever as long as we aren’t there with them tho maybe not open access haha’.

Thoughts?

Sorry - correction... we have a much bigger garden so us being stuck here is annoying but tbh we can get on with stuff

Why can't they use their own garden?

I wouldn't offer. They have a garden, ok it's not big but with the current ongoing social measures don't get into a mess with people being in your home/garden. It's always nice to offer but sometimes it can come back to bite you. I sound mean but that would be my view xx

Who is looking to use which garden? I can't make it out.

Let people use their own garden, don’t start people coming round to use your garden, there is no need.

Ignore. If they want to ask you outright let them.

You what?

No, don't let them push you over with their wing stick.

Would you also allow them in to use the toilet? Because that would be the next thing.

Don’t offer your garden, there could be requests to use toilet and it could cause more hassle than it’s worth. They can still go other places outdoors if social distancing.

I really can’t understand any human who would say their nephew can’t play in their garden,

Wtaf is wrong with people.

Wtaf is wrong with people is a fucking pandemic

What @Bluntness100 said

Sorry, but no, I wouldn't offer.
If I was asked directly I would use the old mumsnet favourite "that doesn't work for us".
You have plans for working in the garden at the moment.
They DO have a garden (might think differently if they didn't)
Schools have only just closed, the children haven't even been off properly yet.

If they are pushing boundaries this early in the isolation stakes what will they expect when it really hits!

Is it essential travel? They're bound to need the loo or expect a cup of tea. If you are self-isolating it wouldn't work.

Why can't he go in their garden? If they come to yours they'll want to use the loo, they'll lurk to chat etc.

I can't really fathom out what you're trying to say. When he puts his boots on, why isn't he allowed into his own garden? How far away are you?

No they can use their own garden. If it comes up, refuse. What happens when nephew wants to say hello to you or his cousins (assuming you have kids?).

Our nephew is used to being at school and going to shed loads of activities so being indoors will be hard for him. They do not have a garden and sil is taking him to the park everyday. I would just keep him indoors as she is taking unpaid leave till this is over do can entertain him indoors herself. It is not east for anyone but these are difficult times for everyone.

@Bluntness100 you did see that they have a garden, they just prefer the op's garden. At what point are people going to take the advice to stay home seriously?

If you’re self isolating, you can still use your own garden. Or are you saying you’re not home at all?

My garden is small, some people have no garden, a balcony if they’re lucky.

This is exactly why social distancing isn’t working. This and the Mother’s Day dinners.

Your op is a bit hard to understand...

If I am reading it right, sil has a garden but isn't using it and mil has hinted you should let them use yours?

If so... Under normal circumstances I can see it being a nice thing to invite them over if you have play equipment etc in it. However the whole point of social distancing is to stay away from others so it would be a no currently.

Why doesn't sil use her garden? None of the requests state you can't go out, in fact bojo was advocating exercise whilst keeping distance from others, take nephew to a quiet park and let him play (detol spray the stuff before and after maybe) but ultimately it is their issue to resolve at the moment not yours.

I see Bluntness is back with trying to develop her “I just tell it like it is” brand of “forthrightness” in order to make a name for herself. It got old months ago. Not an attack, an observation of something more tiresome and boring than daytime television.

OP I categorically wouldn’t not allow this during a pandemic. It would soon turn to “just use the loo for minute - once won’t hurt!” and “oh a glass of water won’t hurt anyone”.

We are planning to stay in unless shopping for necessities for the whole period. They can use their garden but it is not ‘toddler friendly’ apparently and the boy does like to run about. Of course even mentioning it could have been idle chit chat...

No - MIL is saying that SIL and Nephew should be allowed round to play in the bigger garden.

I wouldn't. You also say you're in the country - can't SIL take him for a walk? Is this a case of MIL treating your DH and SIL like they're 5 and saying they must each have exactly the same?