Someone else using your garden

[PlinkiePlonk]

More of a wwyd. My in-laws have a habit of looking to take advantage but generally we get on so it’s manageable.

On the phone earlier to MIL who told DH and myself about how SIL’s young son keeps going to SIL with his boots on asking to go outside because whilst they have a garden (though not big) and we are in the country, the restrictions are a problem.

We have a much bigger garden so us. Wing stick in is annoying but tbh we can get on with stuff we have been meaning to do.

So if there was a request, would you say that they could use the garden whilst you stayed in the house? Would you offer without them asking as it would be a nice thing to offer?

On the one hand I do have to reference their general nature and I do wonder about MIL relating that to us but on other side I am genuinely ‘yeah, whatever as long as we aren’t there with them tho maybe not open access haha’.

Thoughts?

To me it reads like your MIL “thinks” they want to come...that it’s actually MIL’s wish and her intent/involvement, (rather than SIL actually wanting to come)?

Assuming they can get to your place without coming into contact with others, I think it would be really nice to offer the garden for an afternoon a week or something. With caveats that they would have to bring (and take away) anything they were going to use (including lawn chairs/table/etc.) and while you'll happily wave through the window, you won't be opening the door for a chat or letting them in to use the loo.

But before I did that I would take a critical look at what the contamination risks were - gates they might open, doorknobs and windows they might touch, etc. and whether they can be easily disinfected pre and post visit.

Agree with the others that it will definitely lead to needing to use the loo, then you couldn’t make a cup of tea for yourself without comments being made, then despite you saying you can’t stop to chat SIL will try to keep you talking. I definitely wouldn’t start this, because once you do, you will never be allowed to stop. Never...

Let him put his boots on and use his own garden.

And when said child wants a glass of juice or water or needs the toilet/ nappy change will you be expected to let them in?
If he's there playing on his own and falls will you be expected to go out and comfort him?
Definitely a no from me.
If/ when they ask you just say no otherwise don't approach the subject again

I really can’t understand any human who would say their nephew can’t play in their garden

Because they will need to come in and use the loo, want to come in and wash hands....

Why don't they make their own garden toddler-friendly?

Social distancing is important. Time for them to make their garden toddler friendly. Summer is coming. He will need a safe garden for many years to come.

Have been round a relative’s garden recently with my little boy. We made sure he used the toilet before going round and if he had needed to go would have been taken behind a tree. We brought our own drinks and snacks and didn’t touch any equipment. It can be done!

Why isn’t the child’s own garden toddler friendly

They’ve plenty of time to make it toddler friendly now 🤷🏻‍♀️

Personally I’d say no. Because we’re only going out if I absolutely have to get food, seeing only those I need to help us. So on that basis it’s a definite no

Wing stick is unconscionable. Declare your garden permanently off limits. I would think about razor wire and sentry posts.

No. They have their own garden plus he’s toddler so they’ve had time to make their child friendly but haven’t. Plus the need a toilet / want a wee etc requests. Not your fault they don’t get social distancing or isolation

Under normal circumstances, it would be no problem would it OP? Your Ils need to understand social distancing and why it's important.
Perhaps you could say you know someone who has symptoms, so you're being extra careful.

Just say no.

What Gamble said. Ignore hints. Mention rising death toll...

Ignore them. If they ask directly, say no.

Yep @BanKittenHeels it's deeply tiresome.

Tell MIL , Boris said no.

And after this is over and they decide they like this arrangement because it means they can keep their grown up garden and any damage happens to yours? And can he bring friends round? And he may as well keep a few toys there. And the normal day doesn't work, we'll come xx instead.

You would be setting a precedent. Don't do it!

Just say no. Their garden may be small, so is my DDs and she has a 4 yr old and an 8 yr old with huge amounts of energy. She wouldn't dream of asking to use someone else's larger garden FFS.

no

I'm afraid I wouldn't offer, no, and I'd have an answer ready for if they ask. (That answer being a gentle "no".)

Their own garden might not be ideal, but surely it's better than nothing (make a game of running or jumping in place, hopscotch, and so on), and there must be other options. If it were strictly the child playing, it might not be so bad, though I'd wonder how long the virus might live on surfaces he touches (assuming he ever even becomes infected). My bigger worry, as others have said, is what will happen if he has a toilet emergency or needs to wash off, etc.? How will SIL and MIL take it if you refuse to let him inside?

I'd just prefer for them to use their own garden or go for walks, honestly.

Absolutely not.
We are in the depths of a pandemic.
When will people wake up.
If selfish people do not stop behaving like twats we will all be punished.
This virus does not respect social mores. It does say ‘ oh I’ll hang back and not spread because the op is being generous.’
Sounds like your mil is as thick as fog. I would definitely keep your distance from her op, she isn’t taking this seriously enough.

I don't see the problem with it. They bring their own toys in, drinks snacks etc - you're inside (clearly more than 2m away).

I have a tiny garden- just a patch of gravel and some raised beds. I feel so lucky right now compared with people who don’t have so much as a balcony. If your in-laws come to use your garden, they will be touching the gate, any garden furniture or toys, and they may need to use the loo. This is not staying at home. I’m sure if your nephew needs to burn off energy in his smaller garden he can do some star jumps or play with a skipping rope. Seriously, just stay at home people.

This guy ran a marathon on his balcony!
www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/21/man-runs-marathon-on-7-metre-balcony-during-french-lockdown