Aibu at the shitty way mothers of ff babies are judged

[whatthefuckishappening]

Spent best part of three hours trying to get the only brand of formula left from boots. Amazon keeps crashing, chemists don't know how soon stock will arrive, near impossible to get in supermarkets...so I try googling wholesalers online. Formula is only available to chemists and supermarkets apparently in case people are encouraged not to BF. No points given at Boots as that would be an incentive not to BF. Soonest Boots can deliver is Monday week. Sat here crying about the fucking breast pump that didn't work for me, the breast infections etc, wondering how the fuck to feed my baby when my formula runs out. The last thing I need right now is fucking judgement on ff ing.

Thanks for sending Amazon link but that's stage 3 milk. (My baby needs stage 1 as is only 4 months.

There's no difference, check the ingredients

Yanbu i saw a post on social media the other day where a mother was begging for formula for her baby when a helpful old boomer popped up in the comments with "back in my day we just breastfed" its disgusting how people are buying it all up to sell on ebay and leaving babies to starve! Lucky i can breastfeed but many can't for whatever reason and babies still need to eat

No matter how you or anyone feeds their babies whether it’s bf,ff, or combi , there will be people who judge you for it. Most sane people don’t care as long as baby is happy and healthy.

I was judged for bf and asked when I was stopping, despite having tried to combi feed and formula not only constipated my oldest but caused him to vomit either half way through a feed or right after he finished.

With what is going on now, you’re going to have to get creative. Most people are heading to the big stores, so you’re more likely to find formula at smaller shops and petrol stations. If you’re not part of your local community or city Facebook groups, join them now. There are lots of mums on mine saying what they need or struggling and other mums helping them out or asking if any mums need certain items.

@whatthefuckishappening You have my utmost sympathy. I ended up in the feed/pump/bottle cycle with my first baby. It's believed that around 5-10% of women make insufficient breastmilk, and no matter what they do, they may never make enough to EBF. I had all manner of lactation support, tongue tie division, pumping, I tried domperidone... my baby still dropped down the centile chart and came close to dehydration. I suspect starting formula top-ups when I did was the only thing that saved my baby from being admitted to hospital with hypernatraemic dehydration. There is a commonly-held misconception that all women can make enough breastmilk if they receive the right support. That's not true, sadly.

I now exclusively formula-feed and to be honest I prefer it! It has really helped my mental health to be able to share night feeds with DH so I can get a decent amount of sleep.

And I move in circles where EBF, and extended breastfeeding, is absolutely the social norm. I absolutely have faced judgement, including somebody calling me selfish because I had admitted that formula feeding was better for my mental health than breastfeeding. The fact that I formula-feed because otherwise my child would have starved seems irrelevant to the people who judge me.

The phoning the number on the back of the tin has been debunked by the BASN (essentially the formula trade body). There is good formula stock in my part of the country. I'd suggest trying pharmacies or corner shops if the local big supermarket has sold out.

Yabu, no one is judging you, it is fellow FF who are stockpiling that is preventing you buying. Fingers crossed you can get some milk soon, if not then consider donated milk from another mother as I'm sure no one would ever want to see you struggle.

You probably can't get formula because so many people formula feed and have bought extra not because people are judging you. More people formula feed than breast feed so you are in the majority rather than any marginalized minority.

No points given at Boots as that would be an incentive not to BF.

You do realise that breastfeeding doesn't come with Boots Advantage points, don't you?

People are judging though. On local Facebook pages where I live people are desperately searching for formula and you can guarantee on every post there are some incredibly nasty replies regarding not breastfeeding. That’s maybe why she’s feeling judged.

I formula fed both my daughters. I am so thankful at this time that I no longer have to worry about this.

Our local Tesco and Asda have nothing on the shelves but the little Spar up the road had lots of Aptimel (?) have you tried the smaller shops? Even if you can’t get the right brand I’d imagine it’s better than nothing?

The reason formula is hard to get right now is not because of “judgment” on Ff mums for god’s sake...it’s because other ff mums have selfishly stockpiled it.

Formula is heavily regulated which is a GOOD thing. You don’t want anyone being able to manufacture and sell any old thing to feed tiny babies. Get some perspective.

There's no difference, check the ingredients

I don’t think that’s true. Is it??

HV always told us not to bother with follow on milk as it was expensive and there was absolutely no benefit to it over cows milk. But I don’t think it’s the same as stage 1 formula

I still don't understand who is judging the OP negatively..

Please don't give stage 3 milk to stage 1 baby without getting professional advice first. The ingredients may be the same but the formulation will be very different.

I can’t get the right sizes nappies anywhere .... I’m not being judged for not using reusable nappies I’m just not getting my nappies because everyone is panic buying.

Don’t make a difficult situation any worse.

The great majority of babies are ff in the U.K. if everyone’s bought a bit extra - then that’s how the shortage will kick in. I do hope you get some soon, it must be really worrying.

*In case of an emergency you can give whole milk, goats milk or condensed milk. There are several online recipes. You can freeze milk, condensed milk is canned
*
Please don't do this. This is very dangerous

@sauvignonblancplz always a good idea to have a few reusables in for emergencies, even if you generally use disposable. Amazon have some very reasonably priced ones.

People judge because they're judgy twats. I breastfed and had comments about "bitty", was told it was attention seeking, asked to stop in a cafe as it was making a customer feel sick, complained about at the GP surgery. You see it on here. Feeding past 12 months? It's all about your needs, sorry but it's wrong, ewwwww. If I cherry pick, I can make it sound like there's a vendetta against bfing mothers (who are the minority BTW) but actually you get judged whatever you do. It's individual twattery, not a conspiracy.

The people causing the shortage are other parents who formula feed. Stock piling bastards are risking peoples lives and health. I'm glad you've found a solution for now and I'm hoping the madness calms down soon.

@BecauseReasons Do you know I had used them for a few months after getting in touch with a cloth library.... didn’t find our feet with them & majorly regretting it now.
I might order a couple now.

I really don't think this is the time to have the BF vs FF debate.

We need some legislation and some serious prison time (now) for anyone hoarding or selling stuff on. Formula milk in particular.

You’re not being judged at all as PP’s have already said, everyone is struggling to buy different things atm thanks to selfish panic buyers. Some people don’t have medicine, for others it’s pasta or bog roll and some with babies are clearly struggling with formula and nappies.

Reusable nappies have had a sudden influx which I think is fantastic, the planet is doing good out of this.

Follow on milk contains more iron which can be dangerous for a younger baby, so don't use it for a baby under the recommended age on the carton!

The last thing I need right now is fucking judgement on ff ing.

None of what you’re describing is judgement on ffing’. It’s the result of stock piling,

I know you’re scared and angry but channel your anger in the right direction, this is not about ff vs bf.

I know you got sorted op. Just to say my local lidl had formula yesterday. I'm not near you but just to say they are getting stocks in

Stage 3 formula is not the same as stage 1. Thats more paranoid misinformed rubbish about formula. That being said the difference is that the ingredients have been adjusted to make it less filling (so older babies eat as well). So it would definitely do in the short term if you have nothing else.