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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that Mumsnet should clamp down on the scaremongering threads?

372 replies

callmeadoctor · 21/03/2020 20:02

Thats it really, you come on Mumsnet and anxiety levels are ramped up. Surely thats not safe?

OP posts:
GenxfeellikeaBoomer · 25/03/2020 07:17

If people are scared by facts that is not surprising.

What do people want!! This is happening.

Pishposhpashy · 25/03/2020 07:26

GenxfeellikeaBoomer

Facts are fine. Saying the army is going to start shooting people in the street is not fine.

wanderings · 25/03/2020 07:32

Mumsnet seems to have brought Oliver Cromwell back from the dead, going by the puritanical “we have enjoyed too much freedom”.

feelingdizzy · 25/03/2020 07:34

Me ,and I think the huge majority of people are fully aware of the huge changes required by us all.

This can be terrifying, but I dont think falling or leaping in some cases into that void is productive or healthy.

I can do my bit to help my family and others,I'm a primary school teacher I'm about to log on to do our online teaching. My teens whose exams have been cancelled are studying, playing music,my 18 year old daughter has volunteered to ring older people,who may be lonely.I speak to my Mum every day and have organised for food to be delivered to her I'm messaging lots of friends,and practising social distancing,just come out of social isolation.Doing all I can to help and be safe.

I'm trying to develop a new normal, and deal with today and have hope for the future.

The reality is none of us know the future, there cant be reassurance ,but we can reassure ourselves and each other that this will pass and 9 months from today is Xmas day. I like to envision all my family together eating drinking ,laughing about all of this. Will if happen? who knows but I prefer to live with hope.

Pishposhpashy · 25/03/2020 07:44

Also, what is with the number of posters saying you must not go out at all, despite the fact the government has clearly said one form of exercise a day is fine?

MarginalGain · 25/03/2020 07:52

Also, what is with the number of posters saying you must not go out at all, despite the fact the government has clearly said one form of exercise a day is fine?

People have lost all sense of reason.

There was a major pile in on a poster who to be fair had also seemingly lost her sense of reason because she needed MN's permission to take two walks daily with her high-energy puppy, in a rural outpost, where she sees nobody on her walks.

Obviously the guidance in place is to reduce the amount of social contact - it affects those who live in densely populated areas far more than those who live in remote, non-touristy areas. As if this even requires mentioning.

cactus2020 · 25/03/2020 08:11

Spot on dizzy. Many of us are keeping calm despite our own difficulties with the situation, following OFFICIAL advice, limiting reading the rubbish/opinion/nastiness/speculation, looking after and appreciating the efforts of others, appreciating the small things and adjusting to not having everything we want when we want it. Generally I think people with that outlook are quieter about it, hence the shouting from scaremongerers. It's nice to hear calmer kinder perspectives on here

LivinLaVidaLoki · 26/03/2020 07:36

I have now had to hide the coronavirus topic for all the reasons on this thread. What started off as support through a difficult unknown has become this unwieldy hysterical beast.
There is (was) a good thread analysing the daily figures. Yesterday the figures were late out so it quickly descended into "it must be bad" then when it wasnt as bad as they'd predicted it became "they must have changed the way they report them".

mooboy · 26/03/2020 08:39

Yesterday the figures were late out so it quickly descended into "it must be bad" then when it wasnt as bad as they'd predicted it became "they must have changed the way they report them". There are always people who really get off on a crisis - like they are living through a bad movie! Their behaviour is shameful.

Davros · 26/03/2020 09:50

I object to being told what to do over and over by my peers. Government, academics, medical experts, statisticians etc are all fine, I will listen to them. But my peers telling me what to do (and what to think) constantly makes my blood boil. It risks becoming counter productive

DitheringDoris · 26/03/2020 10:05

I don’t think I’ve read too much scaremongering on here, the tabloids are shocking at the moment though and enough to fill anybody with terror. The only posts on MN about CV that annoy me are the ‘do you think I have Covid’ and ‘can my hairdresser still do my highlights if we do it in the garden’. The truth is nobody knows if you have CV and no, having your highlights done is not essential.

I for one know being peri menopausal adds to my anxiety about Coronavirus. I have never suffered anxiety but the knot I have had in my stomach for the last year a week before my period is now there daily.

LivinLaVidaLoki · 26/03/2020 12:59

Also very surprised how many mnetters have friends who are ICU nurses/doctors/are high up in the NHS.

daisychain01 · 26/03/2020 13:03

Perhaps a bit off-topic, but the mistake people are making on here is creating numerous random threads, each a variation on a theme asking for MNers "permission" to walk their dog/go for 2 x runs @ 30 minutes each when they would have normally done 1 x 1 hour but now have to care for their kids on a rota/walk round the block to post a birthday card and want another walk later as their "daily form of exercise".

All these convoluted scenarios could easily be resolved if people sat down and thought it through for themselves, but instead they absolutely have to get permission. It places a burden on others to make decisions for them, people who are themselves struggling to make sense of it all. Everyone gets sucked into discussion and debate, and it becomes an unhealthy cesspit of anger, irritation, resentment, stress, to figure out what is right or wrong in each case and how to minimise the harm of people randomly going out when they should try to stay away from others if possible.

It just needs a dose of common sense. Why expose everyone to what you're doing when all it does is magnify how abnormal this situation is. If people created more threads to share the positives of how they are managing to cope instead of hyping things up by over-sharing every time they move a muscle, it would dampen down the stress.

Tonyaster · 26/03/2020 13:08

Also very surprised how many mnetters have friends who are ICU nurses/doctors/are high up in the NHS

Yes, this is amazing. University lecturers are also very highly represented on here.

mooboy · 26/03/2020 13:51

I object to being told what to do over and over by my peers. Government, academics, medical experts, statisticians etc are all fine, I will listen to them. But my peers telling me what to do (and what to think) constantly makes my blood boil. I so agree with this and it makes me especially mad when they extend the Gov/medical advice with their own lockdown requirements, apparently just because the Gov/experts have suggested exercise once a day is ok it doesn't make it right - the experts have it wrong, they just aren't extreme enough.

FaFoutis · 26/03/2020 13:53

YANBU
They are winding each other up until it's becoming collective madness. This not a healthy place at the moment.

peaceanddove · 26/03/2020 14:40

Truth be told there has always been those tedious people who delight in disaster and like nothing more than to point out to others the error of their ways. At the moment they can gleefully exercise their inherent dullness and need to dictate under the guise of being a law abiding citizen and 'considerably better than you'. I can't wait for CV to be over so they can crawl back under their rocks like the annoying misfits they are.

dreamingbohemian · 26/03/2020 16:07

I think 'puritanical' is a good way to describe it, people absolutely hounding anyone who leaves the house at all.

I felt so bad for the poster on another thread who just wanted to go to her allotment, she would drive there and have no contact with anyone but she was called stupid and selfish, it was ridiculous. Thankfully they have clarified the rules about that.

I think it is a control thing -- people are terrified, and their way of coping is to think that if everyone just follows the rules, everything will be fine. Unfortunately it's not that simple.

LotsaDo · 26/03/2020 16:17

I felt so bad for the poster on another thread who just wanted to go to her allotment, she would drive there and have no contact with anyone but she was called stupid and selfish, it was ridiculous. Thankfully they have clarified the rules about that.

Yes, I agree. It makes no sense. What's concerning me is that despite the fact that the government have said that it's ok to drive to your one exercise now some police forces have taken it upon themselves to disagree with that and stop people from doing that. We are planning to go to the beach at the weekend...will involve getting into the car, driving 20 minutes, parking right on the front and walking on a beach that's almost always deserted. All this week I've been walking DS to the park across the road to run about and we'll encounter more people doing that than we would do driving to the beach!

LotsaDo · 26/03/2020 16:20

At the moment they can gleefully exercise their inherent dullness and need to dictate under the guise of being a law abiding citizen and 'considerably better than you'. I can't wait for CV to be over so they can crawl back under their rocks like the annoying misfits they are.

Grin
MarginalGain · 26/03/2020 16:26

You have to wonder about the people who need MN's permission to drive to their allotment, though. I think that the country has collectively taken leave of its senses.

Iamamoleinthegarden · 26/03/2020 16:32

The coronavirus threads are complete nonsense and should be stopped immediately.

I do not support ransacking of supermarkets as recommended in the preppers thread nor reporting daily deaths.

The deaths from this flu are higher than seasonal flu but it is still just a flu.

After it has gone through we will have a better idea of the consequences and our reaction to it.

Tonyaster · 26/03/2020 16:35

Hear hear

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 26/03/2020 16:41

MarginalGain, therein lies the problem, you've neatly put your finger right on it - some posters believe that OPs are seeking permission from MNers. They are not. Why would anybody think that they would be, it's very arrogant.

Why does anybody post? To make contact? To sound out thoughts in their head at the time? To tell others about something that they deem worthy of conversation? For validation? For friendship? For companionship? I would say probably all of those and maybe more.

To get permission? Nope.

From some of the threads in here, it's clear that some have eschewed their normal day to day activities to cast themselves as unofficial (and unnecessary) 'Boris Stormtroopers'. They are not.

I've never much liked the 'be kind' thing as it's a bit contrived and time-specific but, why wouldn't we be a bit tolerant? If somebody's asking a daft question, we don't have to answer it. If we can't be arsed to be civil then why bother posting to that OP at all?

The gleeful bullying - and it is bullying - isn't tolerable for most people. It's not for me and if I see it, I'll report it. If I'm out of line in my posting then I expect people to report me too, I won't mind, I can get carried away like anybody else - but I'm not intentionally nasty. Some posters very clearly are - and cowardly to boot as they need a bit of a 'posse' to follow. Pathetic!

PineappleDanish · 26/03/2020 16:54

I agree with a lot of what's been said on this thread.

There is no harm in discussing facts. Figures, WHO data, whatever. The problem comes when people take the figures and start to extrapolate. They speculate about what might happen 3 weeks or 3 months down the line. Nobody knows. And besides, we can't control what other people do or how they behave. We can only control our own behaviour by staying at home, social distancing, washing our hands.

MN are deleting the hearsay threads, the threads about someone's friend's neighbour's cousin's friend who heard X, Y and Z. And quite right too. A friend of mine who does actually work for the NHS posted some silly video on FB, title was something like "video so shocking that Sky won't show it". 6 hours later it had been removed from FB with a sign saying that they'd fact checked it and it was fake news.

On the contingency planning - DH works in a safety critical industry and they often role play what would happen if their entire head office was wiped out by a bomb, or if 75% of the staff dropped dead on the spot, or if an electro-magnetic pulse wiped out all IT for 72 hours. But just because they work through wild scenarios doesn't mean that anyone thinks it will EVER happen. It's all about teamwork and communication, decision making, thinking on your toes and working with limited resources. Every company does this. Just because police are trained to respond to riots doesn't mean they are going to happen.

I get the anxiety thing. I really do. But the very worst you can do if you're anxious is read these threads. Because people present opinion as fact and back it up with "sources" they have found online. Most of which are bollocks.