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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

[sad] AIBU to HATE HATE HATE homeschooling?

258 replies

MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:03

It's only been a couple of days and I'm f*cking losing it. I'm so depressed. We've got a small place, I have my own work to do (self employed) and I've reached my personal low trying to teach one of the kids.

What are you all doing? I'm throwing in the towel. I want them to learn and not been their screens all day and I WON'T do arts and crafts and learning activities all day long. Simply hate it.

My kids are 12, 9 and 7

AIBU to lose my SH*T already?

OP posts:
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SidsWife · 20/03/2020 14:05

I have to work, do my uni work and homeschool. I’m going to lose my shit.

CandiceSucksCandy · 20/03/2020 14:07

I'm dyslexic. I've been in tears thinking about how the hell I'm going to do this. Several parents are teachers and will have no problems. I'm going to send dd back in september and she will be woefully behind.

formerbabe · 20/03/2020 14:07

Yanbu...there's a reason the vast vast majority of parents send their DC to school and don't home educate.

amaryl · 20/03/2020 14:09

I’m absolutely dreading it
I nearly had a breakdown yesterday when the school sent out the instructions for the remote learning. I did it but anxiety was high.
This stuff stresses me so much

amaryl · 20/03/2020 14:09

And I cannot get the brand new printer to work

YgritteSnow · 20/03/2020 14:11

You don't need to be doing more than a couple of hours a day. Think about it, in between lunch times, assemblies, moving to classes etc, how much work do they actually do? You just need to keep them ticking over. Are the learning via a school platform? Home Ed does not have to be School At Home. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.

ThunderPython · 20/03/2020 14:14

A bit of maths, bit of spelling and get them to create a journal detailing their day - check their spelling and grammar (or get someone else to) and you're sorted.

There's baking, gardening, PE (kicking a ball around the park)

Keep it simple.

I'm the same as you and my aim is to keep them ticking over.

Original poster
MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:14

Oh we're a day ahead, started homeschooling today.

Yes, expect the set up and the communication to be tricky then you've got low expectations (downloading this and that app)

Then we got a task that was WAY to tricky for my 10 year old. Then I tried to do English with him and shouted at him. Totally lost my sh*t. This is disastrous.

And sorry too hear about uni, work and homeschooling that is tough. I only have work and the schooling.

I want to find a way to make this work.

Also, the kids are chatting to their friends now instead of working now they're all kitted out with access to communicate. HATE it.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:16

That's the thing. I expect them to be occupied between 9-3pm so I can work. I guess I need to adjust my expectations but it's very hard. I've just come out of the toddler phase of doing activities at home with them. I'm just so tired.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:17

That's true, 2 hours per day of learning. I may need to lower my expectations Ygritte.

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 20/03/2020 14:17

YANBU.
My two youngest are teenagers and I really cannot homeschool so they’re getting a break. They have enough interests that they’ll learn but it will be self directed. I am sure other children will be in similar circumstances and so I am not going to pile on stress by forcing home schooling.

DickAmbush · 20/03/2020 14:18

I'm no homeschooler either, particularly when it comes to 2 energetic little boys who prefer fighting and screens!

I'm getting mine to do YouTube exercise videos, Spelling Shed, Duolingo, and they're learning British Sign Language alongside me. My own educational background is in anatomy, so we're looking at the human body.

Right now, I'm trying to find lessons in ANYTHING, just to make life bearable.

Original poster
MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:19

Does your school give you tasks or are you free styling Dickambush

OP posts:
YgritteSnow · 20/03/2020 14:19

I'm going to send dd back in september and she will be woefully behind.

No she won't and even if she is a bit, do you honestly think she'll be the only one? All ground will be recovered. I guarantee it. Just RELAX.

I've been home educating for seven years, I didn't choose it but just had to make the best of it, just like everyone is having to now. You'll be alright and so will she. The ones who won't be are the ones whose parents don't give a shit. That's clearly not you or you wouldn't be posting here.

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 20/03/2020 14:20

Several parents are teachers and will have no problems.

I am a high-school teacher with primary-age kids. I am a subject specialist. I am working part-time next week, but also wfh in my second job and studying online. DH is also in a critical job. My kids are not going to take kindly to me trying to teach them, and wont be learnjng much at school, i shouldnt think. Teachers are going to have problems too - not least that they will be at work!

Troels · 20/03/2020 14:21

Homeschooling doesn't take anywhere near as much time in the day to complete what takes all day at school.
Maybe you could adjust your work times (or are they set in stone)
Work early before they get up and once they are tucked up in bed.
Dd finishes today, I think she believes she'll be having x-box fun all day. She's in for a shock. School is moving online for her, she has to complete her work each day, but the fiirst week is a week off so she says.
I want to have Joe Wicks live PE on every morning at 9am

planningaheadtoday · 20/03/2020 14:24

You shouldn't be homeschooling. It's a conflict of interests with your child.

You are a safe place, a home maker, a place of refuge and sanctuary. It's important for your child's mental health that you are not their teacher.

If they are not wanting to learn, I see no harm in taking a few weeks out. You need to be unschooling at this point.

Relax with them if you can. In a few weeks you can gently point them in the direction of the work school has set.

There is no rush. I fully expect schools to be shut until September.

I've been through this in the last few years with a school refuser.

What I learned the hard way is that the child's mental health is paramount. That you as a parent are not the teacher.
That they will catch up once they are settled and coping.

Your mental health is of huge importance too, if you go down it all stops.

Have permission to stop!

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 20/03/2020 14:25

Subject-specific, meaning I'll have no idea what to do with all the other subjects!

TipseyTorvey · 20/03/2020 14:25

We've just had a lovely letter from our DCs school head saying whatever you do don't try to recreate the school day at home. It will only stress everyone out, use this time to read good books, learn a language, plant seeds etc. She's brilliant and I have no intention of doing more than 2 hours a day.

TheNoodlesIncident · 20/03/2020 14:26

Your best bet is to create a timetable for them, so they are still in a routine of sorts. So set a time for starting, do some schoolwork, then a break, a bit more of a different subject, stop for lunch. That sort of thing. Allow them to talk to their mates and have some screen time, but then move on to something else, there are always limits to the time spent on anything. Or you could try to do school stuff in the morning and leave the afternoon free for exercising/play? There will be some kind of routine that suits your kids best.

I do feel your pain though, my dc feels very strongly that school stuff should be done at school and parents are not teachers, so he struggles with homework as it is, never mind actual school work at home! Fortunately DH will be working from home and he is a better teacher than I am, especially in maths and sciences. So hopefully we can muddle along, I'm not expecting miracles and I do think expectations should be relatively low, as it's so surreal and bewildering right now. So I will definitely cut a little slack.

Reading is still one of the best things you can do so if all else fails, some time spent reading won't be wasted.

RaisingMissDaisy · 20/03/2020 14:26

In the nicest possible way, I am so glad to read that many others are dreading homeschooling as much as I do.... I am so worried DD will be so far behind by the time school resumes, it's unreal. But reading this honestly makes me feel a tiny bit better, although I am sorry for everybody who is going to find a very difficult too

malificent7 · 20/03/2020 14:27

Just let them chill for a bit...dd is watching tv and doing homework..i don't get involved.

SmallChickBilly · 20/03/2020 14:27

Can you be flexible about your work? Spend some of the day focussing on doing stuff with the kids and then work in the evenings? That's how I juggle the two normally and its tiring, but much less frustrating than trying to get them to be quiet during the day.

Duchessofblandings · 20/03/2020 14:30

Why do you need to homeschool? Don’t your schools have online provision yet?

amaryl · 20/03/2020 14:30

Our school says they are expecting the children to stick to their regular timetable, ie, sit down at 9am for French with mrs Jones. Online tasks. Ds screamed that it’s not. So we’re already at odds there. There’s no tasks set yet so we’ll have to see.