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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

[sad] AIBU to HATE HATE HATE homeschooling?

258 replies

MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:03

It's only been a couple of days and I'm f*cking losing it. I'm so depressed. We've got a small place, I have my own work to do (self employed) and I've reached my personal low trying to teach one of the kids.

What are you all doing? I'm throwing in the towel. I want them to learn and not been their screens all day and I WON'T do arts and crafts and learning activities all day long. Simply hate it.

My kids are 12, 9 and 7

AIBU to lose my SH*T already?

OP posts:
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CheekyMango · 24/03/2020 18:57

@hoxtonbabe kitchen table? Floor? We've just done our job that is all, it's parents discretion really after that.

koshkatt · 24/03/2020 19:40

Yes this is how we are setting work. In fact I thought it was how all schools using a VLE were doing it. All lessons are uploaded in the morning and kids can decide the order that they do the work in - it's up to them.

hoxtonbabe · 24/03/2020 20:13

@CheekyMango

Oh so everyone has a kitchen table? This is exactly my point the assumption that everyone has a table/work space that is suitable for hours worth of work.

So you expect a child to work daily for 4-5 hours on the floor. Why don’t they just do that in schools then if that is a suitable option, let’s just do away with tables and chairs in schools and let them work on the floor.

An hour for homework fine, 4-5 hours a day? I’d like to see you work daily on the floor whilst other people are in the house trampling around you and your papers, But In addition to that , if there is one laptop then what? If there are 2-3 children all of secondary school age, with the same amount of work, if child A is working to the daily timetable, and needs to be submitted by 4pm, and how will child B and C do their work? It’s all well and good saying we’ve done our bit it’s up to you as the parent to sort it but if the system being used is ridiculous to the point it is causing a disadvantage to others then that is up to the school to find a better way so ALL children in the household can access their work.

hoxtonbabe · 24/03/2020 20:17

@koshkatt

Your school clearly has a better handle on all this then. my DS school was trying to do this madness of dripping it throughout the day like an actual school day timetable.

He’s actually really good at just getting on with his work as he knows it’s better to just get up and get on with it so I’ve never ever had to prod him to do work but by day 3 ( his school started all this from last week) he ( well we) was getting stressed as his “school day” just dragged on forever.

tulipsrus · 24/03/2020 21:06

Twice we’ve been told to ‘buy it on amazon’

CheekyMango · 24/03/2020 21:13

@hoxtonbabe don't be so silly. It's an unprecedented situation and you have to do what is best for your personal situation and your school should respect that or are you not communicating that with them?

CheekyMango · 24/03/2020 21:15

A child can do an hour of work on the floor, I did many an hour when I was a kid! Maths and all sorts from what I can remember. Many prefer it as it's a novelty. I did my entire art portfolio for GCSE and Alevel on the floor.

Squidsister · 24/03/2020 21:57

Another one finding this very hard. I am supposed to be working from home, as is DH.
Three kids, different schools with different systems. No idea how on earth I am supposed to home school, and work, plus all the usual day to day stuff which is all much harder now at the moment.
I keep seeing all these photos and posts about how great it is teaching kids at home, what a lovely opportunity, with lovely plans and schedules and project-led learning....

I am still getting my head around what the hell has happened!!

Skysblue · 24/03/2020 22:05

This is going around Kent social media - written by a headteacher apparently.

Dear Parents and Carers,
Lots of people are feeling stressed, overwhelmed and under pressure by everything that's happening. This includes the work being sent home for your child. I wanted to just give my perspective on it all as a Headteacher and I hope this can help with that somewhat.

A few points to note first:

  1. This is not homeschooling, nor is it a time to be competitive on social media about boasting how well you are doing with your children, it's about being supportive. This is an unprecedented emergency situation impacting on the whole world. Let's keep perspective. Homeschooling is a choice, where you considered, you plan for it and you are your child's school teacher in whatever form you choose. This is, at best, distance learning. In reality, it's everyone trying to separate their bums from their elbows, because none of us know what we're doing and what's right and wrong here.

  2. You are, and always have been, your child's primary educator. If you decide that your child isn't going to engage with anything sent home and is going to spend the entire period playing in the dirt, or baking, or watching TV, then that is your choice. That is your right. There is nothing to stress or feel guilty about.

  3. Schools don't know what they're doing either. They had no notice, no preparation time and we were NOT told to 'continue to plan lessons as normal and just send them home' – that’s NOT possible. If it were, we'd all be out of a job!

  4. It is absolutely not possible to facilitate distance learning with a primary aged child and work from home at the same time. The very idea is nonsense. If you're trying to do that, stop now. You can certainly have activities where your child learns, but your focus is your job, and survival. Again, unprecedented. Stop trying to be superheroes.

So, a few FAQs:

  • My school has sent home lots of physical work. Pages and pages, hours and hours. How am I supposed to get through it all?!

You're not, don't try. Your child's teacher spent a couple of hours in utter panic gathering things to send home so they could say they did their best and there wasn't a lot of complaints that enough didn't go home. It's not a competition, or a race, it’s unlikely the teacher will even manage to look at it all.

  • My school keeps sending home links and emails with more work. How do I make it stop? Ahhhhhh!

See above. These are suggestions and ideas because the school is worried they're not offering enough. Use them if they suit you, don't if they don't suit. If you're getting stressed, stop opening the emails. No one will know!

  • Someone in my child's class has everything done and we've barely started. Will they fall behind?

Even if everything were equal in terms of support, time and number of children (which it’s not) all children learn at different rates. In the class there's a wide range of levels in all subjects, there's different paces and there are many children working on differentiated levels of work. It's almost impossible for teachers to differentiate at the moment, so you don’t have to do it either.

Your child will not fall behind. This is all revision and reminder work. If children could all learn new concepts without specific teaching, we wouldn't need teachers. They will cover all of this again, multiple times.

  • I'm not doing any work with my kids. All they're doing is building Lego, cooking and playing outside.

All of this is learning -very valuable learning. Give yourself and them a break.

  • How can I get three different lots of work done with 3 different kids of different ages?

You can't, stop trying. If they're old enough, try to get them to do little bits independently. Otherwise try to do something they can all engage with, reading a story together, some free writing, baking etc.

  • So what's the bare minimum you'd expect?

For me, survival mode. I won't pretend that may be true of all teachers, but you know what?, if they can't have perspective in a time like this then I wouldn't overly worry about their opinion anyway.

My ideal for the children in our school?

  • A bit of reading every day (independent or to them or via audiobook etc)
  • Some free writing now and then. If they'll keep a diary or something, great. If not, would they draw a comic?
  • Practical hands on maths. Be that via cooking, cleaning, outside or some maths games, physical or digital.
  • Some fine motor work. Lego, cutting, playdough, tidying up small toys.
  • Physical exercise everyday
  • Some art/music where possible through the week. Doesn't need to be guided.

-Stretch goal, if old enough getting them to independently work on a project is great for keeping brains ticking over. Get them researching in a book or online and putting together something to present to you or family.

  • If younger, lots of imaginative free play, the more independent the better.

You are doing enough. You are loving your kids and supporting them through a difficult time. Look after yourself. Minimising stress is absolutely vital in a time like this for mental health. Don't let this be something that stresses you. Only you can control that by accepting it is in your circle of control, you are the primary educator and this is all your call.

Apologies, this post is much longer than anticipated!

LuluJakey1 · 24/03/2020 22:14

We are both teachers - secondary - and we are not doing all the things the school have set for DS1 (5). We do some reading with him but apart from that we just do things we think are interesting. He has done drawing and painting and is going to do a collage of some flowers for PIL. He is doing the online exercise class with DD- they love it. They go out for a bike ride or walk each day with us or one of us. I am going to make mini buns with them tomorrow. He has watched some telly- DH watched a David Attenborough DVD with him.
I have been getting the seed pots to grow from M and S and had kept them - so they are going to start a little garden. He likes birds and we have been identifying the birds in the garden and he draws them and writes their names .
It is just things that keep him and DD occupied and they enjoy.

tulipsrus · 25/03/2020 12:09

I actually just want to cry now

I’ve literally put Printed instructions on desk And he can’t even read it

LuluJakey1 · 25/03/2020 13:49

Ds1 is just playing in the garden today and going for a bike rude later. It is really nice outside. I'm not worrying, just seeing it as an opportunity for a different kind of learning. He helped DH who was mowing the lawn and pruning. Has filled the bird feeders. Washed the bird bath out with the hose and re-filled it and is now running round with DD.
He is loving it, has time to spend with DH that he wouldn't normally and is getting fresh air.

Soontobe60 · 25/03/2020 14:02

@tulipsrus

Please don't cry. Just try to have fun with your child. It really doesn't matter if they do the work sent home or not.

tulipsrus · 25/03/2020 16:10

Ok
We’re done for today
Disney+ and popcorn!

tulipsrus · 26/03/2020 17:49

For one subject today there were 12 documents to open

LuluJakey1 · 26/03/2020 19:36

Tulips That is madness. You are not a teacher in a classroom. I was and would have struggled with 12 worksheets in a lesson. I would never have done that with a class. It's ridiculous and badly thought through. Just do what you can. Do 1 thing well instead of trying to do all of it.

tulipsrus · 26/03/2020 20:46

It’s insane. They were all ‘helpful articles’ but you still have to go into every one to see if you can use them

formerbabe · 27/03/2020 08:08

@tulipsrus

That's the same with us really and what I'm finding difficult. The actual logistics of getting my ds to be able to view all the material. Multiple sheets all open on the laptop...it's getting confusing. I'm running out of ink to print it all! We seem to be spending more time trying to work out what to do and in what format than the actual work.

tulipsrus · 27/03/2020 10:29

Exactly!
No paper, will run out of ink too.

I’ve actually made him do 2 pieces of work that weren’t necessary, that’s how imprecise some of the instructions are.

Kuponut · 27/03/2020 10:56

I've just put a studyladder account on - dividing the kids up and making them sit with an adult each (thank god we have spare computers in this house) and do about an hour and calling it job done. They're out with the basketball hoop now... and two broomsticks from the halloween dress up sets playing quidditch in the back garden.

formerbabe · 27/03/2020 12:06

Feel like I'm going to lose my mind today. Despite doing so much work every day, lots of stuff is overdue now. They are also expected to do music, art, design, cooking etc...I can't keep up.

My dc are requesting my help every thirty seconds for things they're perfectly capable of.

Arrrggghhh!

tulipsrus · 27/03/2020 18:21

Do you think I could send a messsge to the school saying ds is completely overwhelmed, as am I?
it is absolutely beyond him(dyslexia) to organise all of this.
I’ve literally been with him 100% struggled to understand some of the instructions myself, a test today was just wrongly marked.
I was celebrating the weekend, but made the mistake of logging back on to check his messages and there are teachers asking where the work is?
e.g. we printed off one document and he’s written the answers on it. He was supposed to edit it and send it back. I CANNOT make him redo the whole thing online

Phineyj · 27/03/2020 18:47

Can you just take a photo on your phone and email it? And yes contact the head and politely describe your experience. I have been teaching online this week and it's really useful to get feedback on whether work is too much/too little/wrong sort. Although I have not set any activities requiring more than one document! And have had to request students not send me multiple photo attachments if they could send a Word doc or PDF (they are sixth form though).

I thought the headteacher advice above was very sensible. We're trying to do one bit if writing, one bit of maths, read a few pages of a reading book and a bit of 'topic' with our 7 year old. Topic yesterday was looking at the carpet with a microscope. It really needed hoovering. Tomorrow's topic can be 'cleaning' I think Grin

tulipsrus · 27/03/2020 19:15

Yes, that’s the answer, but they don’t want multiple formats being sent back ( like you said)
It was supposed to be downloaded and edited, which even I couldn’t work out!
Workarounds I can do, but some of them aren’t happy

Doobydoo · 27/03/2020 19:20

I agree with planningahead..We home ed our 13 year old anyway and did with the 20 year old until secondary.( now back from uni..final year all gone to feck) Do not put so much pressure on yourself...initially children go mad for screens but tends to even out!

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