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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

[sad] AIBU to HATE HATE HATE homeschooling?

258 replies

MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:03

It's only been a couple of days and I'm f*cking losing it. I'm so depressed. We've got a small place, I have my own work to do (self employed) and I've reached my personal low trying to teach one of the kids.

What are you all doing? I'm throwing in the towel. I want them to learn and not been their screens all day and I WON'T do arts and crafts and learning activities all day long. Simply hate it.

My kids are 12, 9 and 7

AIBU to lose my SH*T already?

OP posts:

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Nettleskeins · 20/03/2020 14:33

Ive homeschooled. You have to let go of expectations that it is going to be like a classroom. One hour of formal schooling a day, say maths or spelling. The rest can be much more srendipity. First get them to detox. Get th doing chores, a bit of keep fit, walk round block. Add in a reading hour for pleasure. No screens allowed, could be comics, nonfiction, car magazine, football stickers, dr who.annual when I say readingg. Then a family film which is vaguely soul searching sound of music, a little princess secret garden. Then get them to play with something, not screens.imaginative play lego, barbies,soft toys. Then make everyone write a diary of their boring day with picscartoons.give up and school is over. Rinse repeat next day.ring the changes on topics if nec. There is lots to do. Copying a poem out and decorating it was my most foolproof method of education. Book of poems cut up and handedout at random, no need for printer.lasts several weeks.

meowcatmeow · 20/03/2020 14:34

Two hours a day max.
Routine that starts at 9am.
Find some online resources that they can do e.g KhanAcademy Maths, Sumdog, Prodigy Maths, Code. Org, Scratch...and have reading every day.

wingardium8 · 20/03/2020 14:35

Dreading it too. DH wants to do exactly what PP says headteacher advises against and create a school day with us taking it in turns to be teacher.
Both of us also have FT jobs that must be done from home.
I do think some structure will be necessary though. "Just relaxing" for weeks on end, without being able to go anywhere or see anyone, is going to get old pretty quickly.

whirlwinds · 20/03/2020 14:36

To make this work for us I do bit sized 10-20 minute chunks throughout the day (maths, reading, spelling, art, science, history, PE (bike, yoga, outside in garden) . Happy kid, as I find my feet as he gets plenty of free time, happy mum, as I am no teacher and know that this is better than nothing. We are doing this in stages so we can find a good routine that works for us all. And we can still work around this.

KOKOagainandagain · 20/03/2020 14:39

I can only hope that that this awful situation leads to compassion for those of us with SN DC who have been forced to give up jobs/careers to become not only f/t carers on CA that makes NMW look like a luxury but have been forced to HE due to lack of suitable provision/EHCPs not being implemented.

My son is twice exceptional - he has 'genius' levels of ability but his attainment is severely compromised by ASD and ADHD and he needs f/t support.

It was a huge emotional shift for me to make when educational professionals gave up and I and my family had to accept that we were on our own. Giving up was never an option for me.

Do you know how hard it is to teach an autistic child with a 5 second attention span (whilst mourning loss of life as expected)?

Time to put on your big girl pants and stop being 'that' parent (sorry couldn't resist).

DickAmbush · 20/03/2020 14:40

@MrsNWT - so far the school have sent home a few suggestions for activities that are in line with their current topics, but I don't know what else they're planning going forward. I'm following their suggestions, but the things I mentioned upthread are all my ideas for what to do with the kids. I feel a little better about everything if I have SOME sort of plan, but I don't want to rigidly enforce anything when I know the kids most likely won't cooperate!

Crackerofdoom · 20/03/2020 14:41

I think the worst thing people can do is to feel they have to recreate school at home.

If you get 100 homeschoolers in a room, you will find 100 different teaching styles and philosophies.

That is what homeschooling is all about - having the freedom to do what works for you and your family.

As a PP said, you risk making home a place of conflict and tension if you try and recreate school.

You are under a lot of stress right now and the world is probably a frightening place for our kids. This situation may go on for months so starting off with conflict is making it harder for all of you.

We are seeing ourselves as more facilitators than teachers for our kids. They get given stuff to do from school and we are there to support them when they need it. We have researched apps which they can use and use the downtime facility on the ipad to ensure it is limited.

Google the granny cloud or other projects by Sugata Mitra. He talks about using technology to teach the boring stuff. There are thousands of videos on youtube to explain every area of education. or look at Outschool and give them the chance to learn Japanese or Klingon or the history of the periodic table.

Teachers teach in the way they do because they have 30 kids to teach and manage. When you only have 1 or 2, you have the freedom to do what works for them and for you.

MitziK · 20/03/2020 14:43

Doesn't matter if a parent is a teacher - their kid(s) could be unteachable by them.

There was no way on earth I would have ever put myself through the experience of trying to teach my two anything, as they would have been either enraged by the very suggestion or in floods of tears within about three minutes of the most patient encouragement - weekly spellings and times tables proved that by the time they were six.

Because they've got a 'class' ratio of ten times more potential attention, quite frankly, reducing the level of individual teaching to a tenth of a full school day would most likely still be more than they get normally.

Anything is better than nothing - switch the internet off for their devices for a couple of hours - or, what some home educators do is let their children 'unschool' for a bit first; I suspect that's partly to let them get bored so they're more amenable to short lessons.

Nat6999 · 20/03/2020 14:44

Ds school has sent letter today that pupils are expected to do 6 hours study per day & are contacting any family where pupils are not logged on to the system 9.00 -3.00 each day. I can't see it lasting very long, there are more kids logged on to social media, we are in isolation & ds friends who are actually at school today have spent most of the day texting him as staff don't seem bothered.

formerbabe · 20/03/2020 14:44

I'm starting on Monday...dreading it. I have to nag them at the best of times to do their homework

Original poster

MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:45

Duchessofblandings - they have taks but my kids need help and guidance with the tasks, so I have to homeschool or not so they can do the work.

OP posts:

ilovemydogandMrObama · 20/03/2020 14:47

What planningahead said - My view is that they aren't going to remember what they learned/didn't learn but about the time they spend together.

Am thinking of getting them each to learn something they wouldn't at school such as typing, sewing, cooking. Whatever they are interested in doing.

BrieAndChilli · 20/03/2020 14:47

Home learning isn’t just ‘proper maths and English worksheets’ type learning

Board games teach logic and maths
Watch horrible histories for some history knowledge, or blue planet for nature
Cooking (just get them to help with dinner)
Dance games on video consoles
Drawing

Knocksomesense · 20/03/2020 14:51

Hearing everybody struggle breaks my heart. I'm a tutor and have been working hard with my students to towards their exams. I've set up to teach remotely but don't know what to do as I've lost half due to financial worries. I need to pay my bills so can't tutor for free. I hate hearing everyone is so worried

Original poster

MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:52

KeeponKeepinOn I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'm curious though what you mean by "stop being 'that' parent"? What parent?

OP posts:

Suniscomingout · 20/03/2020 14:52

If your child is registered at school you're not "home schooling "(normally called home educating in the UK). The government has closed the schools, this is not your choice. It's the same for everyone so,please don't get stressed out about it.
Let them read, draw, paint, play with their toys. Let them be bored and then they will think of something to do. Watch nature programmes on iplayer etc etc.

formerbabe · 20/03/2020 14:53

I have all these ideas of things they can do like baking, exercise videos, crafts etc and the actual work doesn't phase me...it's getting them to comply that I'm worried about.

Fruitloopcowabunga · 20/03/2020 14:55

@nat6999 That's ridiculous. If I end up working from home (I want to but haven't been given permission yet) and both kids also need to be logged on, how are 3 of us going to work on one computer? They really can't do much work on their phones and not every family has a laptop per person surely?

Nat6999 · 20/03/2020 15:02

Fruitloopcowabunga The headmistress is a control freak, she is at home with Covid-19 & firing off emails & letters none stop. I have had 4 emails from her up to now today, seriously thinking of putting email on sleep now.

christmastreewithhairyfairy · 20/03/2020 15:07

Yanbu. I hate it too.
And I give it a few more weeks max before everyone is in the YANBU camp!

KOKOagainandagain · 20/03/2020 15:13

@MrsNWT

I have been 'that' parent for years - basically have SN DC with an EHCP that you expect to be implemented. You know, inadequate support, if you don't like it HE? Parents of NT kids don't want yours to have support and want them to leave (with nowhere to go to) if they impact on the learning of NT kids.

I now find it amazing (but not really) that parents of NT kids say HE is too hard and so they won't bother and say they have bought into 'deschooling'.

Do you realise that some parents have to deschool because their child is suicidal?

Also we have been living this self imposed isolation with very little formal help for years - personally since DS1s ss placement failed five years ago.

I would like to highlight inequality that has existed for a long time that those unaffected have chosen to ignore or blame on those experiencing inequality.

And also give a message of hope - education is not learning and learning does not have to take place in a brick school.

I really didn't want to take full responsibility and it was a profound personal loss. But I had no choice. You have no choice. You will make it work. You have to.

caz114 · 20/03/2020 15:18

Don't forget that lots of zoos around the world have animal cams that they can explore.

This is a great way to get a child interested in animals and their lives and care, especially if they become involved in a particular species, like pandas, penguins, elephants etc. This kind of knowledge includes geography, climate change etc. Learning should be great fun for all.

Growing seeds from pips etc, if you have access to a garden if not pots on the window sill with orange or lemon pips, herbs and cress etc.

Don't forget cooking and cleaning- never to young to learn

tiredanddangerous · 20/03/2020 15:21

Yanbu. I have a 12 year old who’s been told to follow the school timetable at home (5 subjects a day, and hour each.) Unfortunately her 10 year old sibling seems to have been given virtually no work at all (grand total of one sheet of maths and an art project on the website.) There’s trouble ahead.

timeforawine · 20/03/2020 15:22

If helpful:
Online resources: