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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed by "they are all in the ssme boat"

100 replies

Northernsoulgirl45 · 19/03/2020 09:58

I am referring to students who should have been taking exams this year.
They are still likely to miss out on all the rites of passage such as prom and celebrations assemblies compared to previous year groups.
More importantly if as some suggested thye sit their exams in September some students will have continued to receive face to face tuition whilst others won't.
It seems like any option will fail some students. Using mock results will penalise kids who underperformed in mocks. Using predicted grades is also fraught with issues.
Just feeling so gutted for year 11 and year 13 right now especially but also feel for all kids, parents,teachers etc right now.
AIBU

OP posts:

Goawayquickly · 19/03/2020 16:55

The very thing that’s keeping me going is the fact we are all in the same boat. Everybody is facing disappointment, worry, loss (work, business, things looked forward to and unfortunately loved ones) nobody is going to emerge absolutely unscathed from this I don’t think.

caperberries · 19/03/2020 16:58

A crisis situation in which many people are simultaneously facing massive levels anxiety and stress is proving very revealing in terms of character.

I've seen some people displaying unexpected courage, others attention-seeking etc it's very interesting

Chloemol · 19/03/2020 17:19

Once this is over they can do a proms, it maybe offputting for some to have exam results based on course work, but if they are that worried they can resit next year. Let’s look at it as a life lesson for them, that things don’t always go the way it’s planned and it’s how they handle it that matters

dayswithaY · 19/03/2020 17:58

It's not insensitive to suggest that the average 80 year old won't be missing out on much if they self isolate for four months. Most of them weren't planning on climbing Everest or nude water ski-ing before the pandemic hit. Ok so they can't mix with family and friends and loneliness can be an issue but they have had a lot of life experience, coping skills and full working lives.

My point was - at 80 it's not so bad to stay indoors for four months with hobbies, pets, TV and the telephone. I do have sympathy for them, my parents are in that age group.

But - anyone here remember being 16? What were you doing - probably not sitting indoors with your parents. But let's all dismiss them and their fears and disappointment because of course, they're not worthy of your sympathy. Pathetic.

goldfinchfan · 19/03/2020 18:36

It is up to parents ot give their kids some perspective.
I know people whose teenage years were devastated when a parent died.

If you can't convince yourself that this is not the end of the world when they miss an exam and some parties what chances are of them having coping strategies when life doesn't go the way they want?

This is a tough time around the globe....they are part of this. They are joined to all other people trying to cope.

Tell your young ones that the Nature is doing better for us humano doing less polluting. Food for thought.

goldfinchfan · 19/03/2020 18:37

Also your average 80 something might well live alone and be suffering with loneliness.

It is not ok to dismiss other people's pain for a teenager missing out a bit.
The world is suffering but one thing about being a teen is being so self centred.

OneUsernameOnly · 19/03/2020 18:46

Of course proms are a rite of passage! I am 44 and still remember my primary leavers disco and my secondary school leavers party - though they weren’t called proms they were just called leaving parties. Kids are allowed to be upset that they aren’t happening. My secondary school leavers party was huge to me - my mum had died a couple of months earlier (just before my GCSE’s) and I desperately needed something to look forward to. Give the teenagers a break - yes teach them resilience but also teach them it is ok to be sad about shit because otherwise they grow up repressed and that never works out well.
We can be sad about the little and the big things just like we can still laugh and find joy in bleak times.

Hereforthenamethreads · 19/03/2020 19:00

Ynbu. It is sad. It is worrying and stressful. I don't like the way many people are minimizing the impact it will have on children must because they are not dying. It is still awful for them and you can still be sad about it. It is a big deal and their feelings do matter. I don't really understand why some people are being so nasty to other people during this crisis.

oliviaskies · 19/03/2020 19:03

Yep. My DD did her GCSE's last year. Got target grades of all 5's, mocks of 2/3s, and had awful classwork, but came away with 6's, 7's and even 8's after months of hard grind. She'd have been fucked either way, and I know so many in the current years will be the the same situation.

mbosnz · 19/03/2020 19:43

My kids are having a bad case of deja vu. So am I. When 2010/11 quakes hit, I had a shit of a time finishing my final year of a law degree, and then lost the graduation that sometimes dreaming of was all that got me through.

So I get it. I really get it.

Our kids need us to be their strength and their rock right now. They have every right to be frustrated, angry, and upset, and to own and express those feelings. It's really important that they don't get stuck in them, and in my experience, if we over-identify, that's more likely to happen.

This is the hand they/we have been dealt. Now we have to play it. My GCSE daughter is going to get the study guides for the A Level subjects she's going to take and use the extra time she has to make a start on that material.

OneUsernameOnly · 19/03/2020 22:03

100% this. Let them be upset. But not dwell on it. Help them move on but don’t ignore their feelings now that shit suddenly got real.

MissEliza · 19/03/2020 23:57

@OneUsernameOnly such wise advice summed up so concisely!

WagtailRobin · 20/03/2020 00:51

I think given the context, the serious health and economic crisis across the globe currently unfolding and intensifying, the very last thing anyone should be consumed with worry about is exams and proms...

People are dying, others will descend into immense poverty, I'll just be thankful if all of my family survives this pandemic and I am struggling to understand the outcry surrounding the cancellation of exams; Surely the biggest priority for us all should be to play our part in keeping people alive, fed and in their homes.

The worry about exams in my opinion is completely out of touch!

Smellbellina · 20/03/2020 00:56

Really? I think people need to get a bit of perspective

Smellbellina · 20/03/2020 00:56

Sorry @WagtailRobin that was to OP not you!

BelleharePenguin09 · 20/03/2020 01:02

People are dying and the planet is in hell and THIS is your concern?

Original poster

Northernsoulgirl45 · 20/03/2020 08:12

It is not my only concern. All along I have said thst the kids are lucky to be alive etc.
I should have known not to post in these difficult times..
Hell even in normal times mzny on here feel that no one is allowed to be upset about more trivial stuff because
Someone is always worse off.
Well get this this is not my only worry but it is a worry.

I'm out

OP posts:

Original poster

Northernsoulgirl45 · 20/03/2020 08:13

In to apologise for crap typing.

OP posts:

annamie · 20/03/2020 08:18

A prom is not a rite of passage, they didn’t even exist when I left school in late 90s!

Celebration assembles also sounds new.

YABU.

Asterisktheknackered · 20/03/2020 08:29

It's a bit of a shame but goodness in the grand scheme of things!! I will be giving mine Anne Franks diary to read for a bit of perspective.

Oakmaiden · 20/03/2020 09:11

A prom is not a rite of passage, they didn’t even exist when I left school in late 90s!

That's funny, cos the did when I left school in the late 80s.

annamie · 20/03/2020 09:13

They’re an American import @Oakmaiden . Your school may have been unusual but that’s not the norm.

BelleharePenguin09 · 20/03/2020 09:19

A rite of passage? A rite of passage has to be a hell of a lot more significant that a prom.

BelleharePenguin09 · 20/03/2020 09:20

than

CJsGoldfish · 20/03/2020 10:53

A rite of passage?
🤣

It's a party.

They're being let down alright but I'm not sure it's school related
Is perspective not a lesson taught these days?

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