To be annoyed by "they are all in the ssme boat"

[Northernsoulgirl45]

I am referring to students who should have been taking exams this year.
They are still likely to miss out on all the rites of passage such as prom and celebrations assemblies compared to previous year groups.
More importantly if as some suggested thye sit their exams in September some students will have continued to receive face to face tuition whilst others won't.
It seems like any option will fail some students. Using mock results will penalise kids who underperformed in mocks. Using predicted grades is also fraught with issues.
Just feeling so gutted for year 11 and year 13 right now especially but also feel for all kids, parents,teachers etc right now.
AIBU

I hate proms. It’s a ridiculous American practice.
Better off without them.

These are strange times. Everyone is having something strange / unprecedented happening. I'm not sure if I count as a key worker (and I'm not at work right now btw) so I'm either going to have one child disappointed because they have to go to school, or the other child disappointed because they don't get to go to school and see their friends (children of nurses, mainly).
But late teens, your plans are your semblence of control. And you may be under the illusion that the government will look after everything, rather than understand that actually, there is no one able to sort everything out, it relies on lots of people doing tiny things. If I had a teen I'd be worried about the impact on them, especially as I look at that age as being huge fun. You probably want them to study but it's 50/50 if they will be examined on it so many won't want to.

My daughter is in year 13 and will be affected.

She’s panicking like mad that they’ll base her results on her mocks - she screwed them up royally but has worked her arse off and her predicted grades have improved massively

She also changed her mind on her uni course so declined all her offers, planning on going through UCAS Extra so right now she has no offers and no idea of what is going to happen

She’s devastated - she understands the seriousness of the situation but at the same time, this is the culmination of 14 years schooling, her plans and dreams and ambitions are all up in the air and her world has turned upside down. Realistically her schooling ends tomorrow - no prom, no camping trip to Cornwall with her mates, no Glastonbury, no post exams big night out.

She knows how serious this is, she knows people will die, she knows Mum and Dad will probably lose their jobs, she knows she needs to get a grip, and she will, but right now she’s stressed, panicking and very sad so I’m trying to be a little understanding

This is an unprecedented global crisis. No exams, proms or rights of passgae come near. Dont be sad for them, be greatful, and happy if they stay alive

Every generation faces some situation where the bigger picture has to be considered. What happens this year for students will not ruin their future if they don't think it will. There are always options and to say any one event will ruin someone's future is ridiculous. Do you seriously think an employer is going to think a well motivated employee who brings value to an organisation is some how less because they had a different grading system in 2020? If students don't get where they want to be this year because of the exceptional circumstances then try again or look at other options. Thousands of students are disadvantaged by the system we have but get on with it and look for opportunities and options. Time to accept the reality and look for solutions. Nobody is saying it's not sad or shitty, it is, but so is watching your sister die in bed and her not being able to be burried or moved for 3 days, as per Italy. The obituary page goes from 1 page to 10 in your local news paper. The UK health system is no better than Italy and they are making decisions on who to treat and who will die as I type this. This is their reality and there is absolutely no reason to think this will not be our reality by the end of the month. This is why it is reasonable to cancel the Prom but, hey, Proms all round when we get to the other side. Sorry if I sound unsympathetic, I never went to a Prom😨 but I'm not bitter about it

The prom stuff is INSANE, parents spending literally hundreds of pounds on a dress, plus all the shoes to go with, the hair, the transport

Anything to stop this ridiculous thing once and for all is a good thing.

People won’t have the money for this, and they won’t be running exams in September purely because of the inequality of educational provision until then.

There will be other opportunities for Glastonbury etc, this situation is more important than the temporary disappointment of a few teens.

Proms are a new thing, it's not a rite of passage in this country. Yes it's crap, but somethings are more important. Life is really tough and sadly we are all experiencing something we've never had to before. We will all be making sacrifices

In the upcoming month as the death rate increases lots of these children will lose family members. Yes not sitting exams is horrible but what else can we do. There will be children who don't study between now and going back to education. There will be children who lose parents.

As sad as it is the way we as parents handle this and react could also have massive impacts on their futures. Please remember this.

Of course in theory we are better off without a prom. I would have been better off financially if I hadn't just bought my DD her prom dress. I can't sell it or give it away, it's now just a sad reminder of her final weeks in Y11. And I'm sorry for people who have lost loved ones, people dying in Italy etc. That doesn't mean I can't be sad that my complicated, confused, scared, angry little girl and her equally messed up teenage friends will miss out on an important rite of passage. Something that can never be recaptured. To be awarded grades based on opinion and probability instead of the satisfaction and joy gained from working hard and earning your grades. No silly last days of school with shirt signing and hugs goodbye. These are their last days of childhood and they are ending in fear and uncertainty.

I am taking the pandemic seriously, I have elderly parents and DH has a heart condition. But I'm also allowed to feel what I feel about the teenagers I know and I don't have to feel guilty about that. My heart aches for them, and that's ok. Their lives are full of uncertainty anyway and right now they've had normality taken away.

Please don't tell me I shouldn't feel that, I own my feelings.

Everyone is missing something important to them. We will all come out the other side with a better understanding of community and what’s important to us as individuals. Some kids who did great on their mocks might have “royally messed up” their exams. Swings and roundabouts. All systems benefit some more than others.

I think all these posts about how it's unreasonable to feel sad for these students who are currently in limbo because we should all have more community spirit are somewhat ironic.

I feel more sorry for the older people being told to self isolate for what could be 4 months or more.

Your 16 year old has plenty of time to make up for lost memories and mike stones where as an 80 year old grandmother does not.

God forbid teen girls can't get a prom dress! Totally unacceptable

My kids are just past those stages at 18 and 21. Eldest luckily in placement year of uni and not final year. Ds is in apprenticeship both are working from home and a bit shell shocked. Ds has pointed out he would have done much better on his predicted grades!
But I've sat here sobbing at facebook and mn for all these kids, what a terrible situation. We need to help them, after all they are our future.

Proms and celebrations...!

Let's home their grandparents and vulnerable friends and relatives make it through alive!

kids just now are going through a major global event. as are we all.

the opportunity to teach our children about the planet we live on and the kindness we can show to each other and keeping ourselves and each other safe and the gratitude we can show to the services we have is immeasurable. this is an opportunity to show our children how much of a difference we can all make when we work together and cooperate. let's all try to use this time wisely. sorry if this comes across as preachy - I'm trying to be positive!

MzHz
You just said that “ anything to stop this ridiculous thing once and for all is a good thing”
Even a pandemic? Corona is a good thing as long as it stops a few people going over the top with Prom?
Prom isn’t life or death, I would be happy if it wasn’t a thing but I’m not a 16 year old girl and for them it’s important. I’m sure most of us didn’t have our priorities straight at that age either
Plus, it might be easier for a teenager to express how upset they are at missing prom than for them to say that they are terrified people they know might die and their parents could go bankrupt

Presumably 80 year olds have a lifetime of memories, four months won't make much difference.

I teach A Level students and am obviously concerned for them and their welfare, will miss them all. We haven't heard further details yet on exam arrangements but if asked to assess internally we would look at performance across the two years with certain assessments carrying more weight. It's never just based on one assessment. Along with this would be the 20% of their A Level they have done as coursework which has already been marked, so we have something to banchmark against. Of course not all subjects have coursework. I am hoping the exam boards will come up with some ingenious remote testing facility, but obviously that could be a vain hope.

Proms are a new thing, it's not a rite of passage in this country.

I had a prom when I left school, in 1989. We called it a summer ball, but really it was the same thing. SO they are not that new.

I have kids in this situation and the good thing is that they are all in the same boat. And worldwide all these cohorts will be impacted in some way. Of course it's tough but they'd rather their families were alive.

We need to find ways of dealing with their welfare not ramping up their anxiety by moaning about prom dresses! Yes, it's a real shame to be missing out on these rites of passage and to be leaving school months earlier than they expected.

We're all living through it. We're all dealing with cancellations and disappointments. As young adults they are learning they are impacted by world events same as everyone else. It's a tough lesson but let's try to gain something collective from this.

It is relevant that they are all in the same boat though because if grading is erratic or inaccurate that will be taken into account by first employers or unis and sixth forms they may go onto.

Also proms are beyond trivial even when we are not in crisis. You are absolutely allowed to be sad about it but I really wouldn't dwell on it.

This is why this is a generation of spolit young ones.
Their summer is Not more important than people's lives.

I am sure there were lots of disappointments for the young at the time of both World Wars........

Am I the only person with a kid who genuinely couldn't give a shit about exams or proms or who he will or won't see again?

It’s an entire year group of students so they are all going to be in the same boat. They will all be applying for the same university places with the same slightly dodgy grades so the playing field will still be level.