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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think men are despicable?

113 replies

UnderReview · 14/03/2020 19:47

Men are fucking despicable...

Pornhub giving free porn to Italians and donating this months profits to Italy - all great! But...

Pornhub also recently rolled out coronavirus-themed porn on their site including one featuring a “healthcare worker” in a hazmat suit

Wtf! Big sigh...

OP posts:
motherheroic · 18/03/2020 07:44

They ALWAYS milk a disaster for more visitors. Now everyone is talking about how philanthropic they are and ignore that fact they have real rape videos on their site that they refuse to pull.

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 18/03/2020 07:45

Yesterday I was walking my dog on a patch of land that backs on to a golf course.
I called out to my dog and nice gentleman golfer - approx about 70 years old - appeared startled and called out to me in a friendly way, “I thought you were shouting at me”!?
I apologised and joked with him about him coming outside - he replied by saying,

‘I’ll come over there and come inside you if you like”.

It’s devastating to be treated in such a disgusting way so openly by someone who appears so normal.

motherheroic · 18/03/2020 07:47

I love how people are getting onto OP for being a misandrist if that means anything. Women hating men does nothing, men hating women almost ends up with women being abused, raped or killed 🤷🏾‍♀️

penisbeakers · 18/03/2020 08:01

As long as the sexworkers who make the content are being paid, you can mind your own business.

Truckman · 19/03/2020 04:25

I'll just leave this here (and run for the hills)...

Why Are So Many Women Searching for Ultra-Violent Porn?

If there is a genre of porn in which violence is perpetrated against a woman, analysis of the data shows that it almost always appeals disproportionately to women.

While men still search for significantly more porn than women, search rates for these more extreme types of sexual content are at least twice as common among women than men.

www.vice.com/en_nz/article/bm9w7v/why-are-so-many-women-searching-for-ultra-violent-porn

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 19/03/2020 05:41

sorry folks i didn’t explain my post upthread.....

The reason I think some men behave so appallingly in real life is because I think they watch lots of porn.
The older - very normal looking gentleman behaving in such an appalling way, didn’t realise how bad his behaviour was. I don’t think he saw me as an actual real person. Just an object.

QuentinWinters · 19/03/2020 09:52

truckman the article also says
a study from 2011 found the women most likely to watch porn – especially the most extreme kinds – were those who had suffered sexual assaults and psychological violence at the hands of their families.
And
we don't know if they're looking out of interest, or doing it because that's what their boyfriends or hook-ups want, or if they're actually masturbating to it.

Given the study upthread showed the majority of women never watch porn or only watch with a partner I'm not sure how relevant it is that some women may watch violent porn in some circumstances.

The majority of porn is made for and watched by men and its normalising harmful attitudes to sex. This Pornhub story is one example of how the industry is exploiting acceptance of porn to advertise themselves and therefore increase harms.

I think it's like smoking and future generations will be shocked that we accepted something so obviously harmful

thepersians · 19/03/2020 20:20

It’s well known that women who have been sexually abused are more likely to end up in abusive relationships. They are also more likely to end up working in the sex industry, including prostitution and porn. If you are sexually abused from a young age It destroys your sense of self and you can’t relate “normally” in terms of emotional / sexual relationships.
So no, I don’t think the fact that women may be searching for violent porn is a sign of their empowerment.
It probably is a reflection of what we already know - that 2 in 3 women have been sexually abused or assaulted.
And I’d imagine the proportion of women to men looking at any porn is small anyway.
This is because porn is actually crap. By any standards.
People in porn are generally not what you would consider “attractive” and nor are the settings. The vast majority are overweight, odd, desperate or quite unpleasant- looking people in seedy environments, and the so-called “ plots” range from being high on the cringe-factor to appalling. So it’s doesn’t appeal to women. Maybe it would if it was better made, higher quality and a bit more interesting. It’s hard to engage with. Women don’t really get off on close ups if vaginas, or or used for that matter. A lot of poem is like something only a gynaecologist needs to see. Women want something a bit more emotionally-engaging and “real”, I think.

thepersians · 19/03/2020 20:22

“or penises for that matter,”

Don’t know where “used” came from.,,

eddiew · 20/03/2020 01:10

Man here, Watched porn twice in my life and I'm 48 now. Didn't do anything for me at all, no interest in watching strangers having sex. been called weird all my life for not being interested in it. Now gone from weird to despicable, Can't win sometimes lol..

BitOfFun · 20/03/2020 03:18

I don't think that all men are despicable. I think that Pornhub is though, and the individuals consuming it are (perhaps unintentionally) contributing to the degradation and abuse of women.

Truckman · 21/03/2020 00:24

Quentin.

Agree that it's a pretty complex issue. I posted that study because I think it's always important to look at the data rather than making assumptions, which many people do about things - immigration, for example, when the stats actually show that the reality is not what is crowed about by bigots.

I think there is an element of similarity in this instance as I've read posters on here repeatedly criticising men for watching violent porn when the reality is that twice as many women do (and I believe the stats as Google Analystics is generally pretty accurate on account of the huge amount of data it reaps which is then used to determine sex - web searches, channel subscriptions, browsing history, etc). Although tbh I'd also have assumed men were the main demographics before reading that.

Of course, as you rightly point out, many of the women who watch this violent porn have a history of abuse, so of course one could argue that it's still a product of ale violence. But sadly it's still most likely women that drive demand for this content, and in the process contribute to the abuse and mistreatment of other vulnerable women.

What seems a bit contradictory though is the finding that 'women who reported being less repressed about sex were more likely to have rape fantasies, more open to fantasy in general, more likely to have consensual fantasies and finally, they were found more likely to have high self-esteem'. I wouldn't have assumed that abuse and high self esteem went hand in hand (perhaps the opppsite), so it's definitely not a conclusive matter.

missmouse101 · 21/03/2020 20:05

@eddiew that's so good to hear. I really have maximum respect for you. You certainly are not weird. Smile

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