Some really kind people have organised me a surprise.

[OhioOhioOhio]

And I fucking hate surprises. Why wouldn't they have just told me about it?

she

She won't do it again!

She did ask if I wanted one for my 50th...I said "no thanks" to which the reply was "ok I just thought I'd ask"...pause..."this time"

I've got a big birthday coming up next year and in my group of friends, surprises have been arranged for others' birthdays. I have already said, quite categorically, I don't want a surprise. I have told my DH I don't want a surprise. I have got lots of 'oh come on, of course you do, you'll love it when it happens, you won't know what it is so you won't be able to dread it' type comments already.

If there is a surprise, I will not be responsible for my actions!

Yanbu, I don't understand why people do this either.

I'm embarrassed that everyone knew something that I didn't. It's been a difficult day. And yes, I'm an ungrateful cow.

No, you’re not. Stop beating yourself up. Can you arrange not to be there?

I fucking hate this.

It is NOT kind or lovely to do something for someone knowing that the recipient will hate it and has categorically said they don't want it.

It's manipulative and selfish. Good for you Trapped.

And yes, I'm an ungrateful cow

You really aren't.

What was it

And yes, I'm an ungrateful cow

No you’re really not.

You’re not an ungrateful cow!

What happened though??

If you know what it is then don't turn up. If it's going to be sprung on you at some random time and place be prepared to walk out., My family know that I hate surprises, parties , anything at which I am remotely the centre of attention so don't waste their money or time!

And yes, I'm an ungrateful cow

Definitely not, the organisers are total bullies if they do something they know you don't want then expect you to enjoy it. Who the hell do they think they are?

@OhioOhioOhio
You're most definitely not an ungrateful cow. Those that have organised this are bullies. I hope you managed to escape and if not that it wasn't as bad as you feared

Just be grateful you have people who care enough about you to do this

Like you would be grateful your rapist cared enough? Forcing something onto someone else is abusive.
I made it quite clear on a trip that I did not have photos taken, ever but some smart arse decided he would and showed me what he'd taken, clever him! When he went to the loo I picked up his camera and deleted them, plus everything else on the card, a two week trip! Served him right.

How is it a surprise if you know about it?!

Winter, I assumed it has already taken place hence how the OP found out? Could be wrong though.

I'm embarrassed that everyone knew something that I didn't

not sure you have the idea of a surprise party if that is your point

^^ I think you've missed the point.

It's not a bloody party. It's a gift.
OP has two other threads running about the same thing.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3848758-if-someone-said-to-you?msgid=94727745

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3848757-if-someone-said-to-you?msgid=94727509

@OhioOhioOhio what’s with the multiple threads?!