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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel bad that I am a cleaner ?

90 replies

LidiaM · 14/03/2020 07:58

I used to work as a medical receptionist, I then had a baby, went on maternity leave and been off from work for 2 years now,
I have been given a job at the nice hotel in the office, signed my contract and was meant to start the training however with the coronavirus situation they have withdrawn my application...
I need money so I kept looking and found a job as an evening office cleaner, to be honest - I dont mind the work at all , it works perfect with my hours, I would get weekends off, the offices are brand new and I really like to clean, I always clean my house and I enjoy it.
The problem is that I am 25 and my father in law commented on me that I am way too young to be cleaning and way too qualified,
He made me feel ashamed and unsecure at the fact that I am cleaning toilets.
As I said, Me and my husband need money ! we have never claimed any benefits and I dont see anyyhing wrong with claiming btw, I just never wanted to , I know that this job is going to last for about few months only because when my little girl turns 3 I will go back as a medical reception admin and my daugter will then start nursery.
I always believed that a job is a job however I now feel bad about it,
my new boss from the cleaning company asked for some references, I now know that they will be rumours about me probably that I am just a failer to be cleaning ! I had nasty girls working in the medical practise and now everybody will know.
I know I should not care and I wouldt have been if not my father in law.
I feel like a piece of shit

OP posts:

Triglesoffy · 14/03/2020 08:03

Well done you!

Your fil is entirely wrong and you should be congratulated on refusing to give in and give up. Future employers will know that you work hard, you are prepared to get your hands dirty (literally and metaphorically) that you are a Doer, and that you will continue to work, whatever it takes.

At the moment, you have all my respect. You are providing a public service (might sound like hyperbole but these are extreme times). You are helping to protect office staff when they are at work.

Well done you. You’re a bit of a hero, actually. Keep going and be proud. I’m proud of you and I don’t even know you!

IAmcuriousyellow · 14/03/2020 08:05

Nothing wrong with cleaning! Oh no. What it does say about you is that you're prepared to do anything you can to keep the wheels on your wagon.

balonzz · 14/03/2020 08:07

There is nothing wrong with honest work for honest pay. Many years ago I worked with some truly vile young women and I remember how awful it all was, you're well rid of those nasty people in the other job. You're earning money for your family - good on you.

Msmcc1212 · 14/03/2020 08:08

You are bloody awesome!

Firstly you have found a job in difficult circumstances by being tenacious and determined.

Secondly cleaning is really important. Imagine a world with no cleaners!

Thirdly it will be one of they key factors in slowing Coronavirus spread. So you May even, unknowingly save lives.

I love cleaning. It’s really satisfying. Take pride in it and do it well.

If in time you find it too boring or repetitive, you clearly have something about you. Te-train, look for something else, start your own cleaning business...

Ignore FIL.

Msmcc1212 · 14/03/2020 08:09

*re-train

YewandOak · 14/03/2020 08:09

Too many people look down on cleaners - I was one for four years.

If it wasn't for them,how many businesses would shut down because a lot of staff would refuse to clean as they see it as beneath them? It's an essential job and not as easy as many people seem to think,it's back braking and never ending.

Good for you - there is no need to feel ashamed - you're working. Be proud of yourself - I was proud when I did the same job. Hold your head up high and ignore the snobby Father in Law.

urinetroubleagain · 14/03/2020 08:10

You have no place feeling like a piece of shit. You are stepping up to your responsibility to earn and provide. That you should congratulate yourself. Nowt wrong with cleaning, I have a cleaner and she is an articulate woman who has the brains to earn money from other people’s lack of time or enthusiasm for cleaning.

urinetroubleagain · 14/03/2020 08:11

Forget the witches who you imagine to take pleasure from your job, cleaners are highly regarded in terms of trust. Change your mind set.

vintagesewingmachine · 14/03/2020 08:12

Your FIL is a crashing snob and you are well shot of the nasty little coven at your old job. Well done for finding something you enjoy and which fits perfectly with your child's needs. A good cleaner is an absolute treasure.

Fannia · 14/03/2020 08:12

My mum had a degree and was partway through her second degree with the OU when she worked as a cleaner and a care assistant when we were growing up, she then went on to do a third degree course and changed to working as a MY
nurse as she enjoyed the care work. I think all that experience is what makes her a good MH nurse.

Margaritatime · 14/03/2020 08:13

YANBU no one has the right to say one job is better or worse than another. Workplaces all need cleaners otherwise I dread to think what mess some of us would have to work in. If you enjoy the job and get job satisfaction in return for a salary all the better. Don't let anyone devalue what you do.

Horsefeather · 14/03/2020 08:13

I cleaned at the university while doing my PhD. At one point I was cleaning a lecture theatre I then taught in after my shift ended. It was convenient and far from being the worst job I’ve ever had.

Isthistrueor · 14/03/2020 08:14

Everybody needs cleaners, they are a vital part of society. In order for society to function, we all need the lower rung staff.

Halo1234 · 14/03/2020 08:15

You have an equally important role. You are providing for your family doing an important job. Can you imagine the country if noone was willing to be a cleaner. Bins over flowing hospitals having to close due to filth. Not being able to book a clean hotel. Office staff getting ill having to wade through dirty. You are as productive as the next person. My uncle used to say to us growing up....it doesnt matter what job you do. It matters how well you do. Always give any job your best. If it's worth doing it's worth doing well. Ignore your father in law. Your country needs you

BabyItsAWildWorld · 14/03/2020 08:15

You should feel proud. I admire you.
That you are prepared to work so hard for your family.

I have a friend who had a high level admin type job. after kids she started cleaning as the hours suited. Turned out she loved it- loved the fact she worked on her own, felt satisfaction in getting the job done, no stress outside work hours, hours fitted with the family, it's a job she could continue to maintain to supplement family income.

So 10 years later she's still doing it.

Own it, be proud!

Nofoolfornoone · 14/03/2020 08:17

Yabu to feel ashamed. You should feel proud that you are working hard for your family. Good

Landlubber2019 · 14/03/2020 08:20

My friend is a cleaner and loves it....

She is able to go to the gym after a shift at work when it's less busy and as a result of her actions, is much fitter and stronger than me!

Lotsofpots · 14/03/2020 08:20

I think some of the snobbery comes from people not thinking it's skilled in any way. I disagree with that - I'm awful at cleaning. I try really hard, and am bright and able at lots of other things, but I find cleaning so physically tiring and really struggle to get the order of it right. I never know which product is the right one for the job. And don't get me even started on ironing which absolutely defeats me (although I am a MASTER of laundry. Probably because it requires no skill at all).

So I'm with everyone else congratulating you. I'm in awe of people who can ace being a cleaner. It's a vital job that isn't easy to do well.

Notimeforaname · 14/03/2020 08:21

Dont you dare feel ashamed about that!!!You are working and contributing . That's all that matters here.
Your father in law is a dick.

Pipandmum · 14/03/2020 08:21

You are doing the best you can under the circumstances and should never feel ashamed for doing that.
I have a cleaner and she is a single mum and the flexibility suits her, pay is much better than minimum wage and she likes cleaning. I would never look down on her for using her skillset and providing for her family.
But prejudices are ingrained and I remember my mother always commenting negatively that my sibling's father in law was a second hand car dealer! Didn't seem to count that he supported three children and lived in a nice neighbourhood (and that his child was a doctor). He was always going to be a few rungs down the social ladder to her.
But hold your head up high and don't be apologetic. Working hard to provide is never a shameful thing.

Dita73 · 14/03/2020 08:22

Be nothing but proud of yourself. You’re looking after yourself and your family. If people really are being nasty about it then let them get on with it. If they have a problem with it,it is literally their problem and not yours. You can’t worry about people like that. Hold your head high. You’re clearly a great parent and you’re doing the right thing. I have nothing but admiration for you. Unfortunately in life,whatever we do there will be some arsehole to try and drag you down. Let them have their shallow fun but don’t let them succeed. Best wishes to you

Roomba · 14/03/2020 08:23

My Grandmother was a cleaner her whole life. She was damn proud of it too, she got up early every morning and did what she needed to to feed her family. She was still doing it in her 70s (when I stayed in school holidays she'd leave me alone in bed and go out at 4am, returning at breakfast time - different times! Just remembered that). There's absolutely no shame in cleaning work, far from it!

My highly educated friend is a cleaner. She loves it, she can fit work around her family and caring commitments, she enjoys it and loves her clients and she can listen to podcasts and audiobooks while she works.

NotSorry · 14/03/2020 08:23

I voted YABU because YABU to be ashamed

Other people’s attitudes say more about them than you - well done for getting something to help keep your family afloat

RuggyPeg · 14/03/2020 08:27

It's looked down on because it's seen as menial women's work. If men were doing it, it'd have a totally different status and your fil wouldn't be so dismissive of it. It's a feminist issue and reading about that slant on it may help you to feel better about it.

enchantedspleen · 14/03/2020 08:31

Never ever be ashamed of yourself. I've worked as a cleaner to keep a roof over our head and have always used it as a fall back in the past. There is absolutely zero shame in being a cleaner and providing for yourself and your family and I also believe there is skill in being a good cleaner. Ignore him, OP!

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