To feel bad that I am a cleaner ?

[LidiaM]

I used to work as a medical receptionist, I then had a baby, went on maternity leave and been off from work for 2 years now,
I have been given a job at the nice hotel in the office, signed my contract and was meant to start the training however with the coronavirus situation they have withdrawn my application...
I need money so I kept looking and found a job as an evening office cleaner, to be honest - I dont mind the work at all , it works perfect with my hours, I would get weekends off, the offices are brand new and I really like to clean, I always clean my house and I enjoy it.
The problem is that I am 25 and my father in law commented on me that I am way too young to be cleaning and way too qualified,
He made me feel ashamed and unsecure at the fact that I am cleaning toilets.
As I said, Me and my husband need money ! we have never claimed any benefits and I dont see anyyhing wrong with claiming btw, I just never wanted to , I know that this job is going to last for about few months only because when my little girl turns 3 I will go back as a medical reception admin and my daugter will then start nursery.
I always believed that a job is a job however I now feel bad about it,
my new boss from the cleaning company asked for some references, I now know that they will be rumours about me probably that I am just a failer to be cleaning ! I had nasty girls working in the medical practise and now everybody will know.
I know I should not care and I wouldt have been if not my father in law.
I feel like a piece of shit

I have huge respect for you OP. My mum had a good (well paid, good career) job, but when she lost her job when I was a kid, like you, she took on cleaning jobs and bar work because that was a) what was available b) had suitable hours and c) she didn't want her children to be hungry or homeless. My mum always put us first and I have huge respect for her as she had to do some pretty unpleasant tasks (which I had no idea about at the time).

Like you say, a job is a job and you should be proud of the fact you are supporting your children.

Ps. Would FIL have same attitude if you were MD of your own cleaning company as opposed to an employee of someone else's (even if you were doing the same work day-to-day)? Some people are just snobby.

Please don’t feel that way. I have done office cleaning and private cleaning when we have needed cash or just need to get out of house and be me without the kids. I am of the same believe that a job is a job. My husband and I had our daughter young and we both worked full time, when I was on maternity my husband even had a market stall on a Sunday. No one else’s business how you earn money to keep a roof over your family’s head. Hold your head up and tell FIL to mind his own.

Don't feel bad for being a cleaner. I have professional qualifications and have a part-time very demanding and stressful job. I also have a part time cleaning job - and this gives me peace. It is much more honest than my main part time role. I would much rather be doing the latter.

Good for you, there's nothing wrong with cleaning for a living. I had loads of cleaning jobs while my kids were young, I could fit them in around school or early evening when my husband was around. Take no notice of fil, a job is a job and we have to do what we can to pay the bills. I hate job snobs, a lovely friend was so shocked to find out that I used to be a health care assistant in a care home, she told me that she thought I could do much better for myself as I was so intelligent......

I have depression and really struggle to keep on top of my house. My cleaner is one of the most important factors in helping me functon - if my house is clean, I feel a bit more like facing the world. My cleaner does far more than just keep a house clean.

Your fil is a ignorant git !
We need cleaners , we all ways have and always will . they are a vital part of our society.
I am a cleaner and proud of it , i have worked my way up from been a temp contract part-timer to the area manager looking after our team .
PP is right it does not matter what you do for a living as long as you do it with pride and to the best of your ability.

I bet you fil thinks that road sweepers / binmen / waiters / dinner ladies etc are all beneath him too

I agree with everyone else. There is no shame in honest work.
I am a night carer - and it involves lots of cleaning: 10 bathrooms, living areas, washing/ironing, kitchen work etc. As well as the obvious "personal care" (which some people wouldn't touch with a barge pole). I love my job.

I have kids and working nights including weekends fits around them and our childcare needs well. Husband with them over night. The way I see it I could work long hours in a much more stressful job - probably come home with 6 or 7 hundred more and spend all of that and probably more on child care.

I love it that if my son wakes with a tummy ache I can say "don't worry let's have a duvet day" without any stress of me needing to be off work and that when school invites us in for activities either myself or my husband can make it 9 times out of 10.
If any one can be bothered to judge me I honestly think "f*ck em" anyone that judges honest work that fits with my family because they are a snob is not worth my concern.
forget other people. You do you.

Well done op you should be proud of yourself. So many would just roll the excuses . You did what you had to do for your family. Tell your father in law that.

My friend has a cleaning business and does really well out of it.

Nothing to be ashamed of all. You need money - your making money.

I know lots of people who have worked as cleaners, and it's absolutely something I'd choose do over plenty of other jobs, which I won't list because although it's personal preference and judgement-free this is MN so someone will take offence .

Do what works for you and ignore everything else. It's not your FIL who has to do the work and unless he can resolve all your financial needs, he should keep his thoughts to himself. You aren't asking him for money or for advice, which is all the more reason for him to keep quiet. There is nothing wrong with good honest work. Never has been. And if you don't hate what you do, that's all that matters.

Omg OP I was shamed by my own parents years ago, not for cleaning, but for a similar job they really looked down on. The difference is, I wanted to graft and earn money and wasn't so poncey as to think I was too good for a specific job (none of us are). I look back and I'm proud of it, of doing what I needed to do, and you should be too!

You sound like a great person with a great work ethic, people will always need cleaners, and it's a good honest job, so it's a great choice, and it's also none of his bloody business.

My friend has a cleaning business. It's supported her well for years and she has a good client list of mainly weather older people.

They value her, and she is able to work the hours she wants too within reason.
Your Fil is silly to say what he did. Ignore.

This thread is from 2020

Nobody working to pay their way should ever feel ashamed. Your FIL is an arsehole.