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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel bad that I am a cleaner ?

90 replies

LidiaM · 14/03/2020 07:58

I used to work as a medical receptionist, I then had a baby, went on maternity leave and been off from work for 2 years now,
I have been given a job at the nice hotel in the office, signed my contract and was meant to start the training however with the coronavirus situation they have withdrawn my application...
I need money so I kept looking and found a job as an evening office cleaner, to be honest - I dont mind the work at all , it works perfect with my hours, I would get weekends off, the offices are brand new and I really like to clean, I always clean my house and I enjoy it.
The problem is that I am 25 and my father in law commented on me that I am way too young to be cleaning and way too qualified,
He made me feel ashamed and unsecure at the fact that I am cleaning toilets.
As I said, Me and my husband need money ! we have never claimed any benefits and I dont see anyyhing wrong with claiming btw, I just never wanted to , I know that this job is going to last for about few months only because when my little girl turns 3 I will go back as a medical reception admin and my daugter will then start nursery.
I always believed that a job is a job however I now feel bad about it,
my new boss from the cleaning company asked for some references, I now know that they will be rumours about me probably that I am just a failer to be cleaning ! I had nasty girls working in the medical practise and now everybody will know.
I know I should not care and I wouldt have been if not my father in law.
I feel like a piece of shit

OP posts:
AnneTwackie · 14/03/2020 08:37

Nothing to be ashamed of, only the small minded would think there is. Good for you and good luck for the future.

kaldefotter · 14/03/2020 08:39

You have nothing to be ashamed of; you are taking care of your family. Be proud, and ignore any non-wisdom being spouted by your FIL.

LandOfAThousandJumpers · 14/03/2020 08:39

Haven’t answered the poll as YANBU but you shouldn’t feel bad at all about doing cleaning.

Your attitude is spot on. I have a degree and work in a profession and when I was starting out self-employed I had gaps in Cashflow waiting for invoices to be paid and so did house cleaning to get some money coming in in the meantime.

I didn’t mind the work (although it was quite hard work) and I was self-sufficient. That work helped me get set up in the business I run now.

You have every reason to feel proud and hold your head up high. You’ve found something that fits in round your daughter and that you can do in the gap before she starts nursery. It’s an honest job and you’re earning money for your family.

As RuPaul says - if bitches aren’t paying your rent, pay them no mind.

HonestlyItsFine · 14/03/2020 08:40

Even if everybody in the UK had a masters degree, we would still need cleaners (and checkout operators and other "low status" jobs*), so I fail to see your FILs point.
You are providing for your family, hat is all that matters.

*"Low status is not my opinion, just the ones people tend to look down on the most!

dellacucina · 14/03/2020 08:43

Your FIL's attitude is horribly snobbish and counterproductive. Of course there is nothing wrong with being a cleaner. The thing about this that really bothers me is that the job is actually working well for you and you apparently would enjoy it if it weren't for his unkind words.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 14/03/2020 08:44

Tell him providing for your family is never shameful, a job is a job. You can always move jobs later if something comes up you like or takes your interest and you’ll have recent references.

I’d have no issues with any of my children taking any work they could find to support themselves or their family, I’d have a lot of issues if they decided work was beneath them or they didn’t fancy it so claimed benefits instead.

BadEyeBri · 14/03/2020 08:45

If it suits you go for it. People are dicks about a whole host of things. Just smile, nod and get on with being happy in your new job.

tasmaniandevilchaser · 14/03/2020 08:47

I've said YABU because you shouldn't feel bad about cleaning, it's a really important job. You've obviously got s lot going for you as you've picked yourself up after a setback and you're providing for your family.

Boom45 · 14/03/2020 08:47

People look down on cleaners because women tend to make up the majority of the workforce. They don't look down on labourers in the same way. Its snobbery and misogyny and people adore that combination.

Love51 · 14/03/2020 08:48

At this point in history cleaners are heroes!
And it is less sedantry than medical receptionist, which is a plus.
What does father in law do?
I imagine he is a live to work person, rather than a money is a means to an end person.

AltheaVestr1t · 14/03/2020 08:51

As a 24 yr old graduate with a small child, I also worked as a cleaner to help make ends meet. I also remember feeling scorned by some but you’ve got to pay the rent!

contentedsoul · 14/03/2020 08:51

I actually respect you OP
Nothing angers me more than other people’s sense of entitlement and that they view certain jobs as beneath them.

Utter wankers in my view.

I work in manual jobs, I’m the first to admit I’m not very bright, but I have very good common sense and pretty amazing diy skills. I know of so-called professional couples that outside the field of specialty are fucking useless with zero common sense. I sometimes thank my lucky stars for who I am.

Hold your head up high OP
And be proud that you are well grounded...that trait gains far more respect than having letters after your name.

Chin up

HonestlyItsFine · 14/03/2020 08:51

People look down on cleaners because women tend to make up the majority of the workforce. They don't look down on labourers in the same way. Its snobbery and misogyny and people adore that combination

Yep- plumber/builder: Good trade, always needed, solid job.
Cleaner/childcare worker: unskilled, anyone can do it.

MaomiMak · 14/03/2020 08:51

What's wrong with wrong with cleaning ?!

I always make an effort to talk to to the lovely cleaners who come to.my office after 6pm.

I love how the kitchen is always bright and clean in the morning because of them. Bins empty etc.

Really we couldn't manage without out them.

LandOfAThousandJumpers · 14/03/2020 08:53

@Boom45

Totally agree.

fizzandchips · 14/03/2020 08:54

Ignore your FIL and don’t worry about what others think. You are doing an important, much needed job, which allows you to take care of your child and financially contribute to the family. Win win!
My friend had a similar admin role, but for a variety of circumstances found a job as a cleaner. When the family realised she had admin skills they started asking her to help in the household. Being available for tradespeople, accepting parcels and online deliveries etc. They paid her well. On the back of this she got a job as a housekeeper for another local (wealthy) family. They employed a cleaner and needed her to do all of the household admin tasks. She recently landed a job as Head Housekeeper for a celebrity. They employ cleaners, gardeners, nannies etc and she helps run the whole lot. She ultimately got this job because she was good at admin and good at cleaning; she never guessed it would lead to her dream job working for a fascinating family.
Hold your head up OP.

Superlooper · 14/03/2020 08:58

As a recruiter, if I was interviewing you in a few year, I would completely understand why you had to side step in your career for family reasons, and respect you for being willing to roll up your sleeves and getting stick in (always a good sign)

shrunkenhead · 14/03/2020 09:03

Own it. Be proud. My sister started her own cleaning business after failing to find a job that fitted around school hours (and she knew everyone else was going for TA jobs). Her kids have recently moved on to high school so she can now work full time. But she's not changing her job. She can charge what she likes, work the hours that she likes for who she chooses to and feels massively appreciated by her clients. There are few jobs that I know of that tick those boxes. She also has a good degree but I think generally they're becoming less relevant unless you're going down a v focused career path eg Doctor
Your FIL is a snob, rise above it. You're doing what you need to do to provide for your family. Be proud, not ashamed.

Fr0g · 14/03/2020 09:04

The hours fit, probably means that you're paying out less in childcare, you enjoy it.
Shame the other offer was withdrawn, but a low level office role could have been very tedious and driven you nuts.
Gets you out of the house, and brings in money to support your family - and if you want to you can probably get additional private work/
It may not be what you'll be doing forever, but sounds ideal while your children are small.
Your FIL is a snobbish idiot - and a rude one. Ignore him.

pennow · 14/03/2020 09:08

You should not feel embarrassed or put down. You are working and earning for your family and making a work life balance.

I hate cleaning and I really admire the cleaners that come in and sort out office out every day. It always lovely to come in the next morning when everything is sparkly again.
Be proud and dont listen to those who put you down.

Sally872 · 14/03/2020 09:09

You have a job that provides for your family and hours that fit. That is difficult to get so in that sense you are lucky. Also you enjoy your work again better off than many.

Dont allow your fil to make you feel bad about it. And if there are nasty people at your old work who cares what they think, they obviously have their own problems.

readingismycardio · 14/03/2020 09:12

Well done! I value and love my cleaner, she helps us have a clean home and more time. This is a very needed job.

ArriettyJones · 14/03/2020 09:14

There is absolutely no shame in honest labour and cleaning is honestly one of the hardest, but most necessary skills out there. Not only that, a clean room, well
Done by a professional actively makes people happy! Be proud.

tiggerkid · 14/03/2020 09:17

The only thing to be ashamed of is when you can work but won't work and claim benefits instead.

endoflevelbaddy · 14/03/2020 09:26

My cleaner is amazing and I hope she knows how much she means to us. I work long hours, often away so DH can be parenting alone. 2 DDs, 2 dogs & cat. Like a lot of people, I find the state of my home directly impacts my mood and ability to focus properly on work / kids.

She enables me to spend the time I am at home enjoying it and my family. It is not 'just cleaning'. And from experience of trying to replace her when she moved away and took some time out, a good & trustworthy cleaner is very hard to find.

I have genuinely joked that DH would be out before she was. You should take pride in the work you do and how much the people you work for appreciate you. Not many folk are that appreciated in their work.