I ended my relationship with him over his disapproving Father.

[ims0rrydarlingg]

Posted here before about a situation where my fiancé's father disapproved of me and I was basically sitting around waiting for him to approve of our relationship.

Despite them knowing we we're together, his dad was trying to set him up with other girls etc.

I have finally walked away with a heavy heart.

He doesn't seem too bothered if I'm honest, as I haven't heard from him all day. I ended it this morning.

We're long distance and both from a Pakistani family.

Guess he didn't want me as much as he claimed.

Feel rubbish and the only reason I've not cried my eyes out is because I'm in work.

Oh darling you have to be strong this time and not take him back. I remember your last thread and wondered how long you'd stand being treated like that.

You posted this * recently, I feel angry at myself for not walking away the first time they disapproved. Would have saved me a lot of heartache.*

Now for the sake of your mental health you must stay away this time. The heartache will only continue if you drag this on. He's not going to change. You know this!

Start healing that heart NOW!

I'm sorry OP! I think you know that this man doesn't really love you. He has allowed people to abuse you and is actively seeking out another life partner.
Keep him blocked! Don't answer the door if he shows up!
You'll find someone better! My advice would be to focus on their character and how they treat you rather than likes/dislikes

Woke up this morning with puffy and tired eyes as I cried myself to sleep last night. Woke up to a missed private call and a voicemail from him saying 'baby please call me.'

Glad I'm going into work as I will be distracted and less likely to crumble.

His parents didn't make him communicate with the girl. He's chosen to do that on his own accord. I actually felt like contacting her on SM and telling her what a dog he is, but I'm better than that and she'll find out on her own.

It was only yesterday morning when he had messaged me saying I was his soul mate and he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me. Yeah, some soul mate huh.

I accepted his smoking the green stuff, his infertility, his financial issues. Made some tweaks with his grooming, dress sense and injected some self worth and confidence into him. All for him to be pursuing other women for the 'sake of his parents.'

So he was your little project? If you don't like what someone has to offer move on. Don't try to mould your partner into what you want them to be. It won't work

OP you made the right decision blocking his number. Block him on all other social media and move on. Move on! You are better than this guy who can't stand up for himself.

Years ago I was in a situation a little similar to yours and dumping him and never looking back was the best decision I ever made. I now have an amazing life with a far better man who has no doubts that he wants me and our family. Years later the ex still contacts me to say he still misses me (despite having a wife and two kids) and all that does is confirm to me that he is a man child I was lucky to escape.

Think about this: if he can't stand up for himself against his father, how will he ever be able to stand up for you?

I remember reading your last post OP - I think you have made the right decision. If I remember rightly, your OH never ever stood up for you. You deserve a man who will cherish you, support you and above all, stand up for you!

I believe it is extremely important to be able to get on with your in laws - for me there would be no relationship if I did not get on with OH's family. It would be hell. I love a good strong family unit and would never want a divide between any of it.

Go and find yourself a partner who is worthy of you and whose family love you equally - I promise you that you WILL find one! And when you do, you will look back on this and think wow, what was I doing with my life.

I remember your previous thread, OP. This man is weak and you have made the right decision. The cloud of pain will lift in a little while and you’ll be relieved that you don’t have to worry about him any more. I hope you find a good man who is worthy of you.

Block, keep busy at work, see friends.

You are worth more than this weak dishonest man. move forward to a better life.

So basically if you were still together he was effectively cheating on you but it was ok because it was his parents fault.
You can't fix spineless.

He's left me numerous VMs saying he's hurt I've blocked him everywhere. He's being pressured into speaking to the girl and that I don't know his family like he does. They want him to pursue her and she's pretty keen too. He's saying he's not met up with her but his family are forcing him too (she lives about 3 hours from him).

He also said he's in a tough situation because on one hand it's his family and on the other hand it's me. Claiming he loves me and wants to be with me but doesn't know what to do. And that I can't give up at the first hurdle. He kept saying he doesn't want to be with her but has to meet up with her.

Well that's fine, because I've walked away. So he can please his family all he wants. I thought he would have stopped contacting me because I'm not the thorn in his side anymore.

He also mentioned he's had a shit time from his siblings over this, especially his elder brother. He has accused him of not going a shit about his parents and only bothered about me. Caused some big fights at home.

Head fuck much.

So basically you're making his life hard, if you could just roll over, accept he's spineless and that his parents are insisting he has a second girlfriend his life would be much easier.

@forrestgreen pretty much. Except they want him to marry her, so I'll ultimately be the other woman/side bitch.

Dear ex
I've decided to make this easy for you, we're done because you have failed to even try to recognise that as a boyfriend it's completely unacceptable to chat to/meet up with women who sees him as a potential partner. That's considered cheating and unsurprisingly unacceptable to me.

The fact that it's not your idea is irrelevant, you didn't shut it down and see it's me you want to be with. No, you chatted to her to make your parents feel better and making me feel distraught. That was the choice you made. Them first and me well and truly last.

I deserve better, I deserve someone who puts me first, who won't accept me being dismissed by family or friends.

I wish us both happiness, but it won't be together. So do not contact me on a format, I will consider it harassment and will contact the police.

So after a week or so of giving him his final chance, my gut instinct was going off again and when I asked him, he told me he's speaking to another girl. This makes it the 3rd girl since this whole father saga. I sent him a message telling him I'm done for good this time and blocked and deleted him from everything. I've even blocked his number so even if he tries to call me I won't get anything.

I didn't give him a chance to reply, just blocked him.

I'm heartbroken but I'm absolutely fed up with being treated like shit and having my emotions played with.

I was nothing but good to this man in every way and the amount of disrespect I've been served is pathetic.

He can enjoy being the eligible bachelor now with all the potentials.

I'm so over Asian men and their pathetic disregarding mindsets.

You will find better and good person at a good time until then enjoy your life 💕 best wishes for u.

Oh you poor thing - he's awful!

Make yourself even more determined by adding up everything you've had to spend on him. It makes me laugh that men like that (and his father) see themselves as alpha males, yet will quite happily take money off women.

We are all feeling very vulnerable at the moment at this difficult time. Please don't let that weaken your position. He sounds like a very weak man, if he needs a constant ego boost talking to other ladies. I feel sorry for those ladies as he is wasting their time too. This thread contains really good advice. Keep reading over this thread and feel confident that you are doing yourself a favour.

Good decision

Stick with blocking him. I remember your first thread and I thought maybe he was a good man trying to negotiate a difficult situation, but it has now become clearer what he wants to happen here. He wants to marry someone his family approve of and for you to be his bit on the side. As you say, it is incredibly disrespectful of you. You deserve so much better than what this man is offering.

Had a few private calls this afternoon so I'm assuming it's him, as his number is blocked.

I ignored them. I'm not getting sucked back into his lies and games anymore.

@HollowTalk - like an idiot I had got him a new phone too.

@BumblePan - Yeah I've been off work since Tuesday due to suspected Coronavirus as I have the symptoms. So this couldn't have happened at a better time for me

@sonjadog - It was literally a day ago he was saying he'd never do anything to jeopardise our relationship or hurt me because it's not worth losing me. Fucking liar.

@forrestgreen - also a really hard decision. I didn't even wait for an explanation or anything just blocked and deleted him from everything.

Feel so heartbroken and spent most of the day crying.