Some parents: help children practice instruments, do homework, reading, plan healthy meals, go on educational outings to museums, etc.
Some people smoke in front of their children, feed them processed junk for EVERY meal with no fruit or veg in the house, they look after them drunk, leave them home alone and bring strange men/women home on a regular basis. They lock them in cars while they go to the casino.
Both these people are given the description "parent" . One is doing work, the other isn't.
If it weren't work why don't nannies just volunteer for free?
Whenever works is designated as 'women's work' it is undervalued.
An example is a 'sectetary'. It used to be an honoured position. Like a businessman's right hand man. When typewriters became common, and women's smaller fingers were seen as better for typewriters the job of secretaries because a 'woman's job'. It lost status and prestige. The salaries went down and it became something like a 'work maid/wife'.
Women's work is always looked down on and considered 'not work'.
When your mum cleans the house is that 'not work?' why then does the cleaner want paying for doing the same thing?
Most households could not afford: a cleaner who does two hours daily, PLUS an on call 'night nanny' who will wake up if your child is crying, PLUS a tutor to do a daily hour of homework and reading, PLUS an Uber with a chaperone to take the child to activities PLUS a healthcare assistant to clean up vomit, PLUS a nanny to do breakfast, pick up from childminder, bath, PLUS plan holidays, birthday parties, outings, PLUS cooking daily and 48 hour weekend care. Only the rich an afford to pay someone to do all those things.
And its a silly argument to say that because it is your choice it is not work. Imagine a person who likes animals and becomes a vets assistant, so not years of training, the general assistant. Should they not get paid because "they chose to do it and they like animals"?
The truth is that "women's work" is work that is unpaid. Full stop.