To stop breastfeeding my 8 week old as it’s affecting my 2.5 year old

[Napqueen1234]

Just that really. I breastfeed all feeds except one formula bottle before bed which we started at 5 weeks. At night my boobs feel full and drip milk the second baby cries and they feed well and go straight back to sleep. Likewise in the morning they feed them are settled. From midday until bedtime she’s on and off the boob constantly, crying loads and refusing to latch on despite being hungry. It’s really affecting my toddler we all afternoon I’m wrangling the baby and she desperately wants me to play with her and give her quality time. She’s crying all the time, so needy, having lots of accidents when potty trained. Today I gave in and have the baby at bottle of formula at 4. She downed 4oz and is now so much settled.
I feel like I want to swap to bottles to make life easier but will I regret it. Currently all three of us are crying 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

OP if it's any constellation I have been in exactly the same situation. My youngest is now 8 months, and I persevered BF. I'm so glad I did and it has got so much easier
Good luck

it doesn't really seem fair to not do that for number 2

Never heard such crap.

And @namechanger2019 the best start in life is not just created miraculously through breastfeeding. The best starts come from a happy and content home, with a calm and happy mum. OP would not be removing their child’s ‘best start in life’ because they stopped breastfeeding.

OP, do what works for you and your family. A balance needs to be found. You’ve done amazingly to get to 8 weeks, I didn’t even manage 8 seconds! Whatever is the best option for an all round happy house is the wrong to go for.

I switched to bottle at 8 weeks. Like you say, everyone was crying and unhappy (and I didn't have a toddler in the mix). One day I spent 11 hours feeding him and he was always unsettled. I regretted the switch initially, but definitely don't now.

Your toddlers world has been turned upside down and however you feed that isn't going to change.
Do what you need to do to regain some sanity but I doubt that swapping to bottles will halt the clinging and regression from your toddler.

It does get easier I promise.

Try including the toddler in helping with baby, fetching things and stories when you are feeding(however you are feeding)

Let go of any guilt.

Fed is best. You have to do what's best for you and your DCs.
At thr beginning i found it "easier" to sit on the floor while breastfeeding and play with 1 hand, or read a book or watch tv together... i've alao heard people prepare busy bags - a special bag of toys that only come out at feeding time.
Have you tried putting baby in the sling to settle her?
Can your toddler have a snack when you feed the baby? I use to make snack pots for my toddler and get 1 out when the baby was feeding. Then we'd all be eating together...

At the end of the day, you've got to do what you think is best.

There is no right or wrong.

Either way, your toddler has to adjust to an upheaval. DS1 found DS2's arrival tough. First I was hobbling around on crutches anyway before DS2, then the birth messed him around with false labour, complications and a long recovery. By 8 weeks, DS1 was halfway through Chicken Pox and DS2 was about to go down with it. It took DS1 a long time to settle, but it was years before ASD was identified, so it always was going to be a tough change for him.

We muddled through with lots of CBeebies/ Thomas/ Fireman Sam DVDs. I mastered feeding in the sling (and in my sleep). Getting out was logistically tough for months between a new baby, stubborn toddler and continuing SPD from the birth injury.

Past about 8 or 9 weeks feeding does tend to get easier and settle in to rythmns for the majority of the time. There were certainly points when I took things one feed or one day at a time for a whole host of reasons. Then there were other points, much of the time when the spontenaity and flexibility of BFing made it easier for us.

I’m relieved the tide has changed from “Breast is Best” to “Fed is Best.”

Becoming a mother is a long haul. Do what needs to be done to keep yourself sane. Then you’ll be able to be good enough for your children.

Generally I'd say do what you think works best for your family, but right now (and I am sure there will be a queue of people ready to tell me I'm being ridiculous) I would keep breastfeeding if I were you, just for peace of mind that if the toilet paper hoarders get started on the baby formula your baby will still get fed. And when hopefully everythig goes back to normal you will have given your baby a few more weeks of breastmilk, and may find your toddler has got used to it

I couldn’t breastfeed my first for various reasons so was so proud and pleased when I managed second time round so feeling really disappointed it’s been so hard. Perhaps I didn’t have realistic expectations!

I found it really hard too - we're a couple of months down the road from where you are and breastfeeding has got a hundred times easier. There were so many times where it would have been so easy to give up but I'm so glad I stuck with it, even if just to avoid the hassle of bottles. If you think you can persevere, my advice would be to do so, it gets so much easier.

Fed is best!
As long as your baby's belly is full that's all that matters
I successfully combi fed under similar circumstances

I couldn’t breastfeed my first for various reasons so was so proud and pleased when I managed second time round so feeling really disappointed it’s been so hard.

despite the knobs saying I'm unreasonable for asking - it was a perfectly normal question. I BF my 2nd for way longer than my first and have had around 20 years feeling bad about it which is why i asked.

OP you will do what is best for you and your family as i said. BF is a lot of work and it isn't for everyone or for every baby. Do whatever it is you need to do to keep the 3 of you content (and yes, you might each have to take a turn at being the one to "compromise" a bit). In the end babies don't really care where it comes from as long as they are fed.

8 weeks is a tough time. Do you get any respite? Don't forget in your calculations about how to handle things that you are also a consideration and what is good for you. Deffo don't beat yourself up for not BF.

I personally wouldn’t stop for this reason but I wouldn’t judge anyone that did. I have 4 under 8 all were breastfed to atleast 2 so I know what it’s like but ime it does get much much easier if you hang in there.

Do whats best for you. A happy mum is best for the kids, no matter how theyre fed. And ignore if people say 'I had to do it and I managed' blah blah, good for them I say, everyone is different and only you know how much you can handle. I probably couldn't handle it, I couldn't handle breast feeding and my little girl turned out just fine.

You have to do what is best for you. I never breast fed and both kids are big strong boys. Things change when you have more than one, you just need to go with the flow. Don't feel bad or let anyone make you feel bad for that matter. Happy Mum, Happy Baby remember :)

Do what is best for you. I remember the shock of my 2nd baby, the exhaustion on top of the guilt of not being able to play with DC1.
It was a game of survival, DD hated her new crying DBro.
You have my sympathy It passes.

Could you express and freeze ? That way you get to breastfeed as well as bottle. Your toddler will be in nursery as from August so the pressure will ease. Both mine cluster fed at around 6-9 weeks, one was breastfed the other was bottle. The next cluster was around 5-6 months when teething, crawling and weaning. Could dh help out at bedtime ? He maybe puts toddler to bed, read story, bath time, whilst you feed baby or express.

I should say there is 7 years between mine, so I wasn't having to juggle an energetic clingy toddler and feeding a baby at the cluster feed time. Whatever you choose both kiddies will be fine, but maybe someone could take the toddler to playgroup or the like just to give you a rest.

OP time to de stress and do what is right for you and your family...please dry your tears and do as you like.No one has any right to judge what so ever. This is supposed to be a lovely time not a battle so think of yourself and what makes you happiest ,because until you are happy and settled you will feel like you are drowning under the sheer stress of parenthood. Stop,breathe, relishing the fact that you have happy healthy chidren who will be ok whatever decision you make for your own sanity!All will be well if you trust your self! Best wishes and hope happier days will follow ,,sure they will,Be kind to yourself .

Well done for doing 8 weeks.

Crying is normal. It’s ok to not feel ok sometimes.

Can you afford to buy or hire electric pump that you can wear while playing with toddler? You can get v discrete ones that carry on working.

If you do formula feed please don’t over feed. Babies sometimes seem to sleep longer on formula because their tiny stomachs are overfilled and like anyone after a massive meal they sleep. Please look up responsive bottle feeding on unicef.

If it's easier for you and your babies, switch to bottle feeds

I bf my first for 5 months and my 2nd for 5wks, and this was one of the big contributing readings. To be very honest I do feel a bit bad about it. But ds is a healthy bright and robust nearly 3yo now.