To get married first?

[oldbeforem]

I recently got engaged and am starting to think about dates / planning.

A good friend (I am her bridesmaid and she will be mine) got engaged last November and is getting married next summer.

We don't want to wait until after their wedding to get married as it's a long wait - however would you be annoyed if your good friend got engaged after you and got married before?

And what if their wedding ended up being s month / 6 weeks before?

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt - I didn't mention anything about expecting people not to get married during my engagement? I didn't know when our wedding would be until last week, so how could anyone else avoid it?*

Fair enough but I think it was a reasonable inference as you did say If one of my close friends was to get engaged and planned their wedding before mine happens, I wouldn't be as involved as I would otherwise have been, and would be a bit annoyed, although I'm non-confrontational so wouldn't make my feelings known.

To be honest, I don't really see much difference between the two. You've been engaged 2+ years (I'm assuming) and you are getting married 18 months after deciding a date. Both are pretty long periods of time. Being annoyed at someone who wants a short engagement and gets married within a year, for example, is pretty unreasonable to my mind.

I wouldn’t give a toss, BUT DH and I eloped with only a month’s planning.

Saying that, we’d been engaged four years by the time we got married (kept putting it off mainly because my immediate family are all dead and so I was struggling with the idea of doing it without them) and the prompt to make us get off our arses and actually sort it out was that my best friend got engaged and I didn’t want to still be engaged by the time she got married! If my wedding date had already been chosen, arrangements made, dress bought etc I wouldn’t have minded her “pipping me at the post” so to speak, though.

I wouldn’t have been annoyed at her, though!

I wouldn't give it any thought, other than being happy for my friend.

^Absolutely, that's how I would feel.

I wouldn't be bothered. I think to be bothered by it would be unreasonable.

I think it’s fine to get married first but would probably try to leave more of a gap. I am bridesmaid at a wedding in May and the bride and her cousin have fallen out for this very reason. Cousin got engaged first and my friend has booked her wedding 3 weeks before...