To cuddle my 2 year old DC to sleep at night?

[ComeOnEileen11]

Or to at least sit with them til they fall asleep...
I know that I should be working on putting them in bed, saying goodnight and leaving them to fall asleep.
I BF DC to sleep until 15 months then moved to cuddling them. They're now 2 and settle with either me or DH sat by the bed, sometimes with a hand resting on them or being cuddled to sleep.
DC is a very affectionate and cuddly child and often climbs onto me for cuddles throughout the day and loves to snuggle up.
Still will nap in bed/the car/the pushchair etc though so it's not exclusively being cuddled.
Complicating factor is that we have a baby on the way so DC1 has a sibling arriving shortly.
I do love our snuggles though. If DC1 wakes at night (rarely - if poorly or teething) I will try a good long while to settle them back in bed before snuggling them in my bed.
Am I being unreasonable?
I mean, they won't want this as they get older. DH doesn't object. My sister did the same and get DC settle nicely on their own now and have from about 3 years old. DM and MIL disapprove.

I get into my almost-6 year old DS' bed to read with him and we then have a chat if he wants to (he does tend to get a bit philosophical / scientific sometimes at this point!). Then we will have a bit of a cuddle and he'll either tell me he doesn't want me to cuddle him, but does want me there, or he'll go to sleep being cuddled.

I'll miss it when it's no longer part of our routine! (He can get to sleep without me doing it, if I'm not at home at bedtime, but if I am, we do it.)

Well I lie with my DS until he's asleep every night. He's nearly 7. Not bothered what anyone thinks.

My sister does this with her 7 year old.

They were brought home crying from their first sleep over because they wanted to be in bed with mummy.

It isn't necessarily kind to a child to have them anxious without you. Based on a lot of the comments it is about the parents need to have closeness from the child whilst they're little.

Most natural thing in the world - follow your instincts mama

I do...I did with my now 7yr old and some point between 3-4 she didnt want me to do it any more. They do randomly stop needing it.

We still do with our DC - it's my favourite part of the day. My parents did this with me and my brothers too - and we've all grown up to be well rounded adults who can go to sleep by ourselves :)

We've cuddled all our children to sleep and trust me it goes way to fast as eldest is 14 and not had bed times cuddles since he was about 7, and I do feel sad that he's so grown up and miss the child that wanted to be with me all the time

You never get this time back so enjoy it. I suspect it can create an insecure DC. I done it with DD she still needs someone to stay with her till she sleeps she's 11.

I cuddled mine to sleep for years , especially once I'd gone back to work nearly full time and he was at school and after school club. Then story time and cuddles was our bonding time together. He loved the cuddles and I would fall asleep too for an hour. It was the only way he got to sleep for a year or two early school years but then he grew out of it. Also he generally wasn't a particularly cuddly child in other ways so it meant I got my cuddle quota too!

i see this with my SIL, her son now 8 has to be cuddled every night when he goes alseep, beacause she did it from day one. It has seriously affected her mental health and also her relationship with her partner, he can not go anywhere for sleep overs and when they are down with my inlaws she misses out on the adult catch up company as it takes an hour to get him to sleep so when she comes back up to the living room after going down with him everyone is leaving etc, its lovely and all for you but need to think long term planning of your own life etc

I done it with DD she still needs someone to stay with her till she sleeps she's 11.

See that's cruel. School trips and sleepovers and at secondary school still needs mummy to sleep

See that's cruel. School trips and sleepovers and at secondary school still needs mummy to sleep
In hindsight I know it is cruel, she still has 18 months in primary school she also has SN so wouldn't do sleepovers or school trips, am hoping to break it this year, after failing many times.
She gets so upset and can stay awake for 30 hours if she needs to.
If I'd the time again I'd avoid starting it.

I did this with my oldest and was still doing it when he was 5, so for that reason alone I wouldn't.

Having said that you're their Mum and whatever decision you make is the right one for you and your dc.

We always stay with our 20 month old until he falls asleep (me, more often husband or sometimes both - we can chat about our day and our voices seem to make him drift off or maybe we just have really boring stories!). However at nursery he just takes himself off for a nap himself. So I think they can often adapt to different situations well.

@EmeraldShamrock you didnt say about the SN.

Sorry they does change it quite a bit

@user1469190646 Not at all. I still regret starting the cuddles before sleep. If I hadn't of set the bar I wouldn't be in the situation.
It is frustrating.

I did it with my first until she was about 4 🤷‍♀️ I think my second would rip my face of if I tried. Each to their own

I would honestly love my boys to want to snuggle up to me in bed and fall asleep. Hasn’t happened since they were babies. I’m jealous personally! Enjoy it.

There seems to be an awful lot of single kids on this thread.

With the first it's delicious......with No 3 - not so much!

My youngest is 3 and I am more grateful than I can say that I can finally go out for dinner or a night out and they will go to sleep with the babysitter without crying for me. They have a routine and need storytime, but not necessarily by me.

It's v important for my mental health that I know I can actually leave them at this stage and they won't fall to pieces.

Well it is of course your choice but with a second on the way I'd wonder how sustainable it was and how kind it would be to abruptly change the routine when it no longer suits.

You do you.

I bedshare with two DC, it works for us, and is lovely.

They're only little once, and for such a short time

I know the feeling!
My MIL thinks picking up and cuddling baby when they cry is creating a rod for our own back. I say sod off I want to reassure my baby.
You do you!

Cuddling at night and being able to go out are not exclusive.
My youngest child is 3. I have 2 older ones. I breastfeed him at bed time and cuddle him. But if we go out he will settle fine with the baby sitter or with my husband if I'm out.
I've done it with each of my kids until the next child came along and it went just fine, no need to 'plan' the transition in my view, they adapted just fine to dad being in charge of bedtime.

Sounds lovely. Who the fuck are they to disapprove of a bedtime routine that both parents and kids love? Knobs. Just ignore. Or not along to their bullshit and completely disregard it.

I’ve been wondering similar. Mine is 22 months. We read to him then in cot, lights out. I hold his hand until he falls asleep whereas DH can get away with just sitting there. If we try to leave he goes mad. I’m pregnant again (though early days and I’ve had multiple losses) and he’ll be 2.5 if this works out. I’m sure a gentle gradual withdrawal would work for us so will start doing that shortly. I don’t mind it at all for now but think the process will be much harder once he moves into a bed.

I don't think it's fair to associate anxious child and cuddling at night. Many other variables have to be taken into consideration. All my kids are very independent and have been ready for sleep overs earlier than their peers. My girls have also stayed with my parents abroad for 10 days without us last year (aged 5 and just under 8) without issues. I'm sure they'll be fine on residential too. i actually think that me meeting their emotional needs in terms of bf at bedtime, Co sleeping for the first 2-3yrs etc has promoted that independence.