SIL's husband edited photo of my baby

[Rotorua]

SIL got married 3 months ago. Her husband ( my BIL) got added to family whatsapp group where we frequently share our 4 month old baby's photos with PIL. We have an understanding with PIL to not share our baby's photos on any other means of social media, as we value our privacy.

Today BIL photoshopped an old photo of our baby for Holi celebrations - her whole face is painted blue and Happy Holi is written on the photo. When I saw the photo I got quite pissed off someone edited my sweet baby's face. Before I wanted to address it, FIL already wrote he loves the photo and put it as his profile pic on whatsapp (that's another thing I'm not too happy about, but I let it slide for now).
DH saw this and asked his sister to tell her husband to not edit the photos as we are not comfortable with that. SIL sees no harm in this and now is not replying to DH's messages.
So the whole question is AIBU to address this and ask bluntly on the family group to stop editing the pics?
Just to add - I have met BIL once, it's an arranged marriage, so want to go about this in a sensitive way as I don't know him well and don't want to offend him because he must have meant well.
DH thinks I should let this go and we should just stop sharing any photos of our baby. I think I should address this, but unsure how not to cause a family argument

I am loving the idea of a cute little smurf baby

Could you do one back for your BIL? Edit him into rainbow colours or something?

But you received the MN verdict with some class OP

Let it go. Its not as if its something rude, just a badly done edit. If you make a big deal about it, it will be around forever. Ignore it, and it will disappear to never be seen again

Once you send your photo to someone else you lose all control over what happens to it.

People really need to get to grips with this.

Stop sending photos to anyone.

I think YABU. I thought you meant airbrushed off a birthmark, or made her nose smaller etc.

I think your response is also petty OP. How old is your baby? I had some PND/PNA and found a lot of small things my in-laws did annoyed me tremendously in the very early days. Now, it seems really petty. I didn't really act on much of these things, just seethed internally, but it would be quite bleargh to stop sharing pics of your baby, who your PILs presumably love loads just to make a point. Also if your SIL has just had an arranged marriage, it might be nice to make things a bit smoother for her by cutting her husband some slack as well. Otherwise you'll probably make him feel unwelcome for a fairly innocent deed, and make her life needlessly tougher too.

You value your privacy?

Do you ever leave the house?
We get zero privacy in this world.

Life is too short to be bothered by things like this, unless your child is naked in the photo of course.

What exactly do you think would happen from a photo of a dressed baby?

Your FIL has your baby as his WhatsApp profile photo and what? What’s going to happen if someone casts their eyes on your precious baby? Will they turn to dust?

I doubt anyone actually cares other than for about a second ‘cute’ and forget...

I have 2 family groups. 1 with all the family where I rarely share photos, and one with just parents & in laws where I share lots of photos. Could you just have a separate group with you and your in laws for the purposes of sharing photos?

I think it's pretty odd on his part tbh. Ok so he's family, but you've only met him once and he's gone and found an old photo of your kid and photoshopped it for a holiday you don't celebrate.

It's not the end of the world, and personally I wouldn't be that fussed, but I would think it a strange thing to do given you don't really know each other.

although she does look more like a smurf than being part of any celebration

In fairness, I'm 47 and I looked pretty smurf-like the only time I've done Holi as well. But with pink hair.

You have the choice to be happy and let it go, or make a big deal of it and stay resentful and upset.
If you choose the latter, then accept that this is a choice YOU are making.

I actually agree with you OP.

I don’t think it’s difficult to not post photos of other people’s children regardless of familiarity. People could ask permission from the parents to post or share photos of said children.

I’m thinking due to BIL doing this, FIL thought it was ok to make it his profile picture thinking that you and your husband changed your mind. He also could have asked instead of just assuming. No one should really have to tell people not to post pictures of children that are not theirs. Not difficult to ask. I also think your SIL is being childish over this by not speaking to her brother. It isn’t her child nor does her husband have that type of relationship with you two.

Did BIL know this beforehand?

I think I will stop sharing the photos for now and will just mention this casually to PIL when they ask us why we don't share pictures anymore
If your PIL enjoy seeing photos of your baby, why are you punishing them for something their new son-in-law did, rather than bringing it up with the chap like an reasonable adult? Or ask your sister-in-law to have a word with her husband - stopping photos seems like a massive over-reaction 🤷‍♀️

Ha ha. You're joking right?

Just let it go and share no more pics of your PFB.

Just dont put photos of children on. Its illegal in some countries

It is so minor it just would not bother me in the slightest and I certainly wouldn't be causing family conflict over it. I also don't mind it when grandparents use photos as profiles on WhatsApp.

I think I will stop sharing the photos for now and will just mention this casually to PIL when they ask us why we don't share pictures anymore.

Seriously? Because someone photo-shopped your kid's image blue?

So you're going to 'casually' point out it's your BIL's 'fault' and make him feel like shit?

So our family whatsapp group quite often has photos of babies and dogs with daft comments, face-swaps & general editing

I'm going to take a wild guess that you and the OP aren't the same person and don't belong to the same WhatsApp group so not sure of the relevance.

I think everyone's entitled to not want photos of their babies to changed by filters or Photoshop, stop sharing OP and the problem will be solved.

Dont post photos of your baby, send actual photos to the GPs, then nobody can share them online

I'm with you OP, I wouldn't like this at all. It's something you could do if you wanted - because it's making a joke of your baby.

He probably just doesn't get that and thinks 'cute baby, funny and cute!' I'm guessing BIL doesn't have children?

Build yourself a little bridge... and get over yourself

You're being very dramatic. It wasn't done in a nasty way so what's the issue ??

I've edited photos of my nieces and nephews as pop art and all-sorts, never been an issue.

I wouldn’t care about the editing if it was just for a family group on WhatsApp. My family know not to post pictures of my kids on social media like Facebook though, luckily most of us feel the same about that. My teen has a put few pics of himself on snapchat etc but that’s his decision and photos he chooses.