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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my white dd not to be an ethnic minority in her own country

506 replies

squatchette · 07/09/2007 13:26

First of all i would like to make it clear that i am in no way racist.My childrens father is half asian (although he is also an irish catholic too).
Anyway today i was late dropping DD2 at pre school and i got to see her whole class for the first time.This is when i was shocked to realise that she is the only white child in her class.
I think i was shocked as we don't live in a particularly ethnic area or so i thought.I read in the schools ofsted report that 40 % of the kids in the school speak English as a second language.
At first i thought it would be good that she can mix with children of different races and i am all for a diverse society.However something about the fact that she is the minority has worried me.AIBU?

OP posts:
newy · 07/09/2007 15:14

I think anyone who is not white/english speaking should be made to pay some sort of ground rent and be on their best behaviour whether they were born here or not. I'm afraid that includes your daughter and husband OP!

browniedropout · 07/09/2007 15:15

Watchin this thread has been far preferable to cleaning the bath - which I can put off no longer. If OP does check threads try to think of the situation as the only "carrot top" in the class. It can go one of two ways - they either love being different or they need to find a few more gingers .. .....

KerryMum · 07/09/2007 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 15:18

KerryMum - how old was the little girl who couldn't speak English well?

KerryMum · 07/09/2007 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mercy · 07/09/2007 15:20

Haven't read the thread etc but what I must point out is that your dd will always in an ethnic minority in her own country.

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 15:21

At that age they learn very fast - so it's only a temporary issue - the little Eastern European girls will be chatting away in English very soon.

In my daughter's class this morning there were lots of languages - the school is bilingual French-English but there are masses of children who speak one or two other languages at home. So to begin with they can't talk to each other very well... but they learn.

oranges · 07/09/2007 15:24

English is my third language. I was totally fluent after six months in this country - in that six months, I played a little shyly, but happily with new friends. My fourth and fifth languages are French and German.

LoveAngel · 07/09/2007 15:25

Grrrrr @ being accused of 'polictical correctness' when one challenges deeply suspect attitudes.

stleger · 07/09/2007 15:26

My dd is 14. The boy beside her in maths is 'very serious', arrived in Ireland from Poland last year with no English. After 4 months in 'English class' he is now fluent in Polish and German, has begun French and has enough English to show dd how to do her maths.

KerryMum · 07/09/2007 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 15:33

KerryMum - I think that's just modern life. Maybe a generation ago we expected to go to school and see our own culture/identity/language reflected around us. But that's not the world any more, certainly not in urban areas, and the globalisation of people is an irreversible trend. Rejoice that it is happening in a place near you

Cammelia · 07/09/2007 15:46

With reference to the mention of the racial type Caucasian further down the thread:

Indians are Caucasians too

ladymuck · 07/09/2007 15:51

Yes, Kerrymum, I think that that sort of situation would bother me more. The mother might have been prepared for her dd to be in a gender minority, but to be the sole girl unable to communicate with her peers woudl probably be a situation that her mother might not have anticipated.

In terms of an earlier comment about expensive schools being different, they're not! Certainly single-sex schools tend to be very ethnically diverse locally, whereas some of the co-ed private schools are less so. I can understand why religious schools would tend to result in certain racial biases being present, but have found this one to be more puzzling. I know that say muslims tend to prefer single sex education, but the dcs school is too diverse for that to be the only factor.

bluejelly · 07/09/2007 15:52

I was the only white girl in my class at primary school and later at sixth form college. Can only see the benefits, both in my choice of career and general life experience. It made me actively seek out a multi-cultural school for my dd.

I suspect the OP is winding us up though

harleyd · 07/09/2007 15:52

"yup and a recipe for a good night out. in fact this weekend i plan to over indulge on both.maybe some rum aswell as the worldcup is starting tonight i shall be drunk from 5 this evening until late sunday night/monday morning."

my weekend too

Dinosaur · 07/09/2007 15:53

LOl at whiskeyandbeer and harleyd!

ELR · 07/09/2007 15:55

dd was the only white child in her nursery class dont know about reception as only starts next week but her school is mainly black and asian, i sometimes feel concerned not because of the colour but because of the language differences and also cultural differences she loved nursery and cant wait for reception.
My main concern is that when at nursery she was singled out by teachers as being great which is obviously good but i am thinking that when we do move her to a different school she wont be the big fish anymore and may struggle.
also not much fun for me at the school gates when i try to chat to the other mums and they just smile and nod because they dont speak english, but then i would chat to the gate post!!!

whiskeyandbeer · 07/09/2007 16:20

the girlfriend is in new york for the wekend shopping so it's a case of friday night world cup opening party, then saturday and sunday all day world cup barbeques.

ELR · 07/09/2007 16:23

being a minority can put you at a disadvantage and every parent has the right to be concerned it does not have to be a race issue it could be anything from colour of shoes to type of lunchbag,
the op was not being ureasonable but perhaps pointing out she want racist was not required

bluejelly · 07/09/2007 16:28

I think being a minority can be an advantage, you learn an awful lot about life/society/human nature

Cashncarry · 07/09/2007 16:29

I don't think that anyone was saying that it doesn't put you at a disadvantage being a minority or that a parent had no right to be concerned - I think the OP's sanctimonious use of language like "her DD's country" and the fact that her minority status was purely based on colour (since her ethnic background obviously is more mainstream for her chosen school) was the sticking point.

Cashncarry · 07/09/2007 16:30

I think you're right bluejelly - minority status is a blessing and a curse. My personal experience is more the former thankfully

whiskeyandbeer · 07/09/2007 16:30

"perhaps pointing out she want racist was not required"

or true.

flightattendant · 07/09/2007 16:32

I have only read the OP and I think to be 'worried' about her daughter being in a minority race group is just how she feels...much as I think I'd feel slightly worried if I were the only black person in a room full of white people.
Not majorly worried, but a bit conccerned in case there were cultural differences common to everyone else that I might not understand and thus I might be excluded...or I might be excluded because of some people's racism iyswim.
Just another take on it.