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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my white dd not to be an ethnic minority in her own country

506 replies

squatchette · 07/09/2007 13:26

First of all i would like to make it clear that i am in no way racist.My childrens father is half asian (although he is also an irish catholic too).
Anyway today i was late dropping DD2 at pre school and i got to see her whole class for the first time.This is when i was shocked to realise that she is the only white child in her class.
I think i was shocked as we don't live in a particularly ethnic area or so i thought.I read in the schools ofsted report that 40 % of the kids in the school speak English as a second language.
At first i thought it would be good that she can mix with children of different races and i am all for a diverse society.However something about the fact that she is the minority has worried me.AIBU?

OP posts:
Dinosaur · 07/09/2007 14:50

Anna, with respect, you are missing the point slightly - the OP expressed concern because her child was the only one of white appearance in the classroom, which is a bit different from simply being in the minority.

MarsLady · 07/09/2007 14:51
thirtysomething · 07/09/2007 14:51

I work with some so-called ethnic minorities and had an email today from a guy who is British born with parents from the Middle East complaining about an "Asian" guy answering a phone who wasn't capable of taking a message. I know the guy answering the phone is in fact from another, neighbouring country in the Middle East to that where the complainant's parents come from. I supose my point is to show that racism and prejudice take many forms - can anyone put their hand on their heart and say they are never prejudiced against anyone for any reason? (I'm thinking specifically about our school playground where people seem to judge you by how thin/well-dressed you are!)

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 14:55

Well, in my daughter's class this morning she was the only Jewish child. And there was a little Indonesian girl who was the only Muslim. And a little Italian boy who was the only Italian. Etc etc. All the children were in minority of one. I think this is just normal in urban areas - unless you choose a religious school, or a very expensive school.

whiskeyandbeer · 07/09/2007 14:56

"our school playground where people seem to judge you by how thin/well-dressed you are"

ours was based on sports and at secondary school if you were cool and got girls was also considered.
much fairer in my opinion.

LoveAngel · 07/09/2007 14:57

Couldnt be bothered to read the whole thread as I know exactly what I think and don't want to debate it. BUT - to the OP - your attitude disgusts me. Why are you worrying about such things? What ill effect could it posisbly have on your child? And I'd be interested to see if parents who share your views have a problem with white immigrants - Polish, Irish, Aussie, Eastern European etc - or is it just the kids with differemnt coloured skin?

I would also like to point out that although my son is black, he is BRITISH. As British as your child - who comes from an Irish/Indian background, you say? Infact, possibly MORE British than your child...

TheQueenOfQuotes · 07/09/2007 14:58

"It is still an astonishingly white place, isn't it?"

It is isn't it - I genuinely thought the % was quite a bit lower than that!!!

Mars - I don't blame you

As has been pointed out - is she really that much of a "minority" if the children are from lots of different races (thinking of the ethnic information form I filled in for DS3's nursery there must have been getting on for 20+ differen boxes that people could tick.......and the "other" box too)

Dinosaur · 07/09/2007 14:58

[thread crash]

whiskeyandbeer - is your name a quote from The Wild Rover?

meemar · 07/09/2007 15:01

Everything I would say has been said.
YABU. And ignorant.

vacua · 07/09/2007 15:01

OP, if this sort of thing bothers you how can you not have noticed last term when looking round various pre-schools which ones had the most brown/white/whatever children?

GogoTheSmall · 07/09/2007 15:02

I went to infants school in Walthamstow and I was one of only two white kids in the class. It wasn't a problem. Little kids don't have hang-ups about different cultures - only their parents do!

Looking back I think it taught me a really valuable lesson in life, about being relaxed about cultural mix.

The only negative thing I remember is feeling jealous of all my schoolfriends' pretty salwar kameez on festival days... I had to wear my boring old school uniform!

If my dd ended up the only white kid in the class I'd be glad, she'll learn from the experience.

StarryStarryNight · 07/09/2007 15:04

I too would be surprised if I found my child the only white in his class. My only worry would be that my child would be bullied for being the only white. If that is a legitimate concern or not is a different question.

My sons class has a multitude of different European nationalities, and two mixed race kids. Being the only mixed race black / white children in the school does not seem to affect them. My son does not question their skin colour, he has not even mentioned it. They are his friends. I dont think children have the same prejudices as adults. Your dd will find this a problem only if grown ups around her find it a problem, and then and only then will it become a problem.

HonoriaGlossop · 07/09/2007 15:06

YAB totally unreasonable. And the use of 'in her own country' is racist in tone - it's going to be the country of a huge percentage of those other kids too, who were doubtless born here.

I think you need to have a re-think.

meemar · 07/09/2007 15:07

Just to add. I have 2 mixed race children. One has dark skin and brown eyes. One is fair with blue eyes. To look at him you would not think him anything other than 'white'. Is Britain 'his country' more than his brother's?

Get a grip.

whiskeyandbeer · 07/09/2007 15:07

"whiskeyandbeer - is your name a quote from The Wild Rover? "

yup and a recipe for a good night out. in fact this weekend i plan to over indulge on both.maybe some rum aswell as the worldcup is starting tonight i shall be drunk from 5 this evening until late sunday night/monday morning.

squeakybrushes · 07/09/2007 15:08

i think some reactions on here to the op are a bit harsh. high-horsed political correctness aside i think any parent of any colour would have slight reservations about finding out their dc would be in a minority of one on their first day of school.

my dp is a primary teacher in east london. last year he had 2 white kids in his class, and repeatedly in the course of the academic year he had to intervene as these children were being excluded on the basis of their colour. just telling it like it is. so shoot me.

Gobbledigook · 07/09/2007 15:09

'I very much hope never again to live anywhere which is majority white English [shudder].'

Gosh, that's a bit of shocking statement. I live somewhere where the majority is white English - I bet tons of people do.

bossykate · 07/09/2007 15:10

dino, you probably are living in such a place... even brixton where i live is 75% white (though not all of those british)... ethnic minorities really are just that...

Dinosaur · 07/09/2007 15:10

It's just my personal preference, GDG. I'm not trying to impose it on you.

Peachy · 07/09/2007 15:10

Only read OP but why the assumption that a child who is not white is not from this countery?

EmsMum · 07/09/2007 15:11

Blimey ... I read the title in the sense of, well I'd expect my DD to be in an ethnic minority if we moved abroad somewhere but it kinda took me aback here. Not that this country was exclusively her DDs private property .

I thought the OP was being more honest than most of us will admit to... a worry she can't quite place and didn't expect to have and wanted help analysing.

Dinosaur · 07/09/2007 15:11

point taken bossy, I was thinking of East Yorkshire (shudder) where I had the misfortune of living from 11-18.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 07/09/2007 15:11

"i think any parent of any colour would have slight reservations about finding out their dc would be in a minority of one on their first day of school. "

once again making assumptions about how other parents feel about "race" issues.........

KerryMum · 07/09/2007 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 15:14

squeakybrushes - I have NO reservations about finding out that my daughter is in a minority of one, as most of her classmates are too - the combinations of nationalities and religions are pretty endless at her school

What I think is a genuine issue for issues of identity is when there is a child in a minority of one when all the other children in the class are in majority ethnic/religious groups ie a class of 15 Pakistani Muslims, 15 Polish Catholics and 1 100% English child. But the OP hasn't said that is the case at all...