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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my white dd not to be an ethnic minority in her own country

506 replies

squatchette · 07/09/2007 13:26

First of all i would like to make it clear that i am in no way racist.My childrens father is half asian (although he is also an irish catholic too).
Anyway today i was late dropping DD2 at pre school and i got to see her whole class for the first time.This is when i was shocked to realise that she is the only white child in her class.
I think i was shocked as we don't live in a particularly ethnic area or so i thought.I read in the schools ofsted report that 40 % of the kids in the school speak English as a second language.
At first i thought it would be good that she can mix with children of different races and i am all for a diverse society.However something about the fact that she is the minority has worried me.AIBU?

OP posts:
fortunecookie · 10/09/2007 13:02

I don't think that skin colour has anything to do with it. It's more a question of attitude, of exclusion... oh what am I saying?

fortunecookie · 10/09/2007 13:09

I would be afraid that my dd would be excluded. When are prejudices formed? How? For the moment, I've seen no evidence of racism in the attitudes of my children, thank God. Mild curiousity, such as "why are we so pale?" "Why does X have such dark skin?" I answered, "Because the sun is stronger closer to the equator, people who are from the hotter and sunnier countries need darker skin (more melanin) to protect them from the sun."

allgonebellyup · 10/09/2007 13:09

Racist bullshit.

fortunecookie · 10/09/2007 13:10

Why is it racist bullshit? I really want to know.

fortunecookie · 10/09/2007 13:11

Simplistic certainly, but sufficient for a 6 year old.

allgonebellyup · 10/09/2007 13:12

well the title is for starters...

fortunecookie · 10/09/2007 13:16

Oh, oh I see. The thread title. Agreed, it's extremely clumsy & potentially offensive, although I'm sure Squatchette didn't intend to offend anyone. She clearly didn't give enough thought to her thread, nor to her opening post.

McEdam · 10/09/2007 13:17

Father Christmas was not invented by coca-cola, btw, that's an urban myth.

A side issue, perhaps, but one that really ticks me off, for some reason.

law3 · 10/09/2007 13:29

Queenie - dont go all pc on me. Of black African decent is what the Ofsted report stated, is that better????? if i had used the term black, i would have been called a racist for mentioning skin colour, URRRRRRRRR i cant win.

Thats exactly the kind of nit picking, that gets on my nerves and adds to any tension between different races. People are scared to get involved in debates for fear of using a word which might offend all the PC people. communication is the only way forward.

I dont take things personally so say what you mean and dont hold back!!!!I had never discussed my views on immigrants with parents at the school. Despite my best efforts, i didnt get to know any of the parents to have the opportunity!!

For the record, i dont consider myself racist, im white british and proud of my heritage. Ive also 'imported' a foreign!!

oh and I said this Country has SOME of the best landmarks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

law3 · 10/09/2007 13:35

Queenie - Or perhaps they may have been racist!!!!!!

domesticgrumpess · 10/09/2007 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

law3 · 10/09/2007 13:46

I got the impression i was the outsider, as the parents, invited other friends of my ds to parties, houses etc and were allowed to play out with children who were 'of African descent'

Kids never had a problem, it was the parents.

goingfor3 · 10/09/2007 13:51

Father christmas did wear green long ago. Red became a popular colour in 1885 beofre Coc Coal started using him in thier promotions - according to Wiki anyway!

StarlightMcKenzie · 10/09/2007 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LoveAngel · 10/09/2007 13:54

This really isn't the 'interesting debate' people are claiming it is.

Hurlyburly · 10/09/2007 14:00

Quite so.

law3 · 10/09/2007 14:35

Anyhow back to the op before i go, i thought the whole racism thing, was that people should LEARN to be more tolerant of each other.

But the OP came on here with quite a title and opened a can of worms. She came back and apologised, but that didnt make a difference and she has been branded a racist.

What happened to the tolerance and learning, is that not how people learn through their mistakes.

Bullyism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Judy1234 · 10/09/2007 14:48

Well children who ae different are picked on. Adults too. It's one reason HR have such difficulties as many people hiring others pick people like them same school or colour or hobbies or sex. I even know one department which is mostly gay and lesbian because of the hiring like I am thing. At least with schools which are colour blind and you enter by high IQ and exam on the whole you get a great racial mix. You don't get ability mix and you get if there are fees parents who can pay which tend to me more immigrants than natives as it were because they put education higher up their priorities if they just moved here.

Amazing differences when my daughter's lacrosse team which is Jewish, indian, african etc played the girls boarding schools - almost 100% blonde some of those were, girls isolated into a ghetto often of low IQ but mostly white actually even that is rubbish for some boarding schools whose sixth forms are so packed with russians and chinese that the English girls and boys feel very isolated - who wants to talk mandarin all weekend if only the Chinese aren't out on an exeat.

leo1978 · 10/09/2007 15:29

I have taught in central London for 8 years in a school where 60 plus different languages were spoken! It is a truly multicultural community and the biggest education in diversity, tolerance and equality I've ever had. I'm moving out of London so I can live somewhere bigger than a shoebox and am traumatised that ds will likely end up being educated in an all white school - your daughter 's education will be enriched by it.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 10/09/2007 15:59

"if i had used the term black, i would have been called a racist for mentioning skin colour, URRRRRRRRR i cant win. "

No you wouldn't you would simply have been stating a fact IMO. There's a HUGE difference between commenting on the colour of someones skin and saying that x,y,z that they do/say is linked to that, and another entirely describing someone (ie what they look like) and using the colour of their skin - for exmple if I was wanted by the police I would be described as being short, white, blonde hair. DH would be described as black, tall, gap between his front teeth .

"Queenie - you cant say English anymore, its not PC!!!!!!!!"

I don't care - my family as far back as our family tree has been traced has been English - we more than likely originated from Europe somewhere before that but as far as I'm concerned I'm English, my DH is Zimbabwean and my children are half English half Zimbabwean - so they (not sure who - just "they" ) can stick that in their pipe and smoke it........oh ooops shouldn't be advocating that should I .

Hurly - I just can't resist - it's like BF/FF, SAHM/Working Mums, Fruits Shoots/Water is to other's on MN - irresistable

law3 · 10/09/2007 16:03

Now this is the bit i dont get, a woman comes on here using inappropriate words, apologises, but is branded a racist.

Other people on here have given examples and i myself gave an example, of how parents at school from a different descent have ignored me, despite my best efforts of inviting them to my house, parties, etc, etc and have excluded my son simply because we are not of the same race.

And excuses are made for their behaviour, implied that perhaps its my fault???

I would call their behaviour ignornant - not racist. But when the shoe is on the other foot - its racism.

How does that work can someone explain???????

TheQueenOfQuotes · 10/09/2007 16:05

law - did they actually say to you that they didn't want their children mixing with yours because of race - or are you assuming that's what the reason was????

I genuinely find it VERY hard to believe that in a school where 90% of the children are black that ALL of them feel that their children can't/shouldn't mix with other races .

Hurlyburly · 10/09/2007 16:11

Well I started a protest thread about this stinking foul thread, and one of the points was that I should get over my queasiness and argue my case.

Of course this actually legitimises a whole load of totally specious arguments, but maybe that's a different issue.

So here I am, against my better judgement. I'll get emotional and heated and really it's not worth it.

Law3. Your sorry arguments have been addressed already

"I still think that there's too much tit for tat anecdotal crap on this thread supporting highly questionable views. For instance, pointing to an incident involving non-white violence - oh yes, clearly an indication that all is not well in the "non-white world""

There. I have engaged. Are you converted now?

TheQueenOfQuotes · 10/09/2007 16:13

lol Hurly - I'll let you take over then - as I'm now at the stage that I'll end up going round and round in circles and my poor DS's are going to be neglected (as per usual )......and I suppose DH (as well as the DS's) may want feeding in a few hours time

law3 · 10/09/2007 16:56

Queenie - Im assuming because of their actions. They didnt 'say' anything to me, just ignored my attempts.

Im sure that all 90% didnt feel the same way, but obviously i didnt get around to inviting all 90%!!!!!