To expect my white dd not to be an ethnic minority in her own country

[squatchette]

First of all i would like to make it clear that i am in no way racist.My childrens father is half asian (although he is also an irish catholic too).
Anyway today i was late dropping DD2 at pre school and i got to see her whole class for the first time.This is when i was shocked to realise that she is the only white child in her class.
I think i was shocked as we don't live in a particularly ethnic area or so i thought.I read in the schools ofsted report that 40 % of the kids in the school speak English as a second language.
At first i thought it would be good that she can mix with children of different races and i am all for a diverse society.However something about the fact that she is the minority has worried me.AIBU?

'lots of people who don't speak english in the town centre during the day. "

probably because many of those that do come here end up taking night jobs that others don't want- Dh always gets accused of being an idler as well, because he'sa round in the day.

I certainly am happy to pay school fees to ensure the children are with children who speak well - but that's pay for segregation by class and IQ not colour.

I would be concerned if my child was obviously different to all the other children, whatever her colour, as we all want our children to fit in.

PMSL@Xenia

ggglimpopo - I agree. And this was one of our concerns when we were initially looking for DD's primary schools and one of the reasons we moved catchment areas.

And only rich people speak well?!!!!!

And all rich people speak well??

lmao @ Xenia - always good to have standards for your segregation

xenia

its not how somebody speaks that is important but what they say

my dd is a northerner like me and speaks with a broad accent. Yet she is intelligent beyond her years

Kama - that is why I said "whatever her colour" - I just mean fit in per se.

I was white (well, v darkly tanned from years in sunshine) and came from darkest Africa(!) to a posh British boarding school. I stood out like a sore thumb as I was different to them in every way, despite sharing a skin colour.

Children generally hate being different. Children are generally very good at singling out "different" children; a "homogenous" child is rarely bullied.

One of my dds went to a vile vile school last year - a huge mistake on our part. The class was very mixed (bear in mind that she is not French herself) but she was the only blonde in the class and the only child not living in state owned accomodation. She was called 'la petite bourg" as in "the little snob" and went completely off the rails trying to prove to the other kids that she was 'arder than 'ard and ended up in deep shit. She was desperate to fit in, and it finished very badly.

QUEEN OF QUOTES:- Customs,festivals - Christmas, new year, remembrance day, trooping of the colour, may day, pancake day, bonfire night, St Georges day, mothers day, valentines day, fathers day, April fool, bonfire night, folklore, i dont think many are 'imported'

Supersitions lucky, black cat, touch wood, bad luck walk under a ladder, break a mirror, one magpie, spill salt, number 13, Ravens at tower of London, rabbit foot. I dont think many Countries have the same supersitions.

Costumes - Perhaps we dont have as many as other Countries, no natinal costume but we do have, pearly queen, Queens Guard, Beefeaters, kilts and of course morris dancers.

Landmarks - You asked what is British Culture anyway, I didnt mention anyone spoiling them, just Britian has some of the best in the World.

You sound very anti - British, which is just as bad as being 'racist' is it not????????

DIFERS - i agree an honest debate

Queen of quotes - and i quote!!!!It really gets your goat when 100,000's of British Expats around the world make no attempt to speak the local language or intergrate into the local community - instead choosing to live, work and "play" with "their own"......

Im interested to know and you havent answered how about when people come to this Country and make no attempt to speak the language or intergrate etc, etc, does that get your goat too?

Customs,festivals -
Christmas: most of the traditions can be dated back to the Mesopotamians, Christmas trees come from Germany, Father Christmas as we know him today comes from Coca-Cola, the original Santa Claus is really St Nicholas (Sinterklaas) who comes from Germany/Holland/Spain,

new year: most countries celebrate New Year. Welcoming the New Year in is not an exclusively British festival by any stretch of the imagination,

remembrance day: all European countries "celebrate" (not really the right term but YKWIM) remembrance/Armistice day. None more so that Germany.

trooping of the colour is celebrated in other countries that have ties to the UK (so not just a British thing)

may day originated in Pre-Christian Europe, and is celebrated as a worker's holiday almost everywhere except Britain.

pancake day has Roman Catholic origins so i would think it originated in Rome,

bonfire night - this is possibly the only truely British festival - because it celebrates someone almost managing to blow up the English Parliament.

St Georges day - Turkish/French/German,

mothers day - from the Bible originally, didn't have anything to do with your mother, was to do with your home town.

valentines day - Originally from Ancient Greece, now fairly worldwide.

fathers day - crass commercialist cash in on Mother's day (see Valentine's Day)

April fool - Worldwide,

bonfire night - same as bonfire night as above.

folklore - all countries have folklore, it's not an exclusively British thing.

i dont think many are 'imported'

Oh God - do i really have to go on?

Supersitions lucky, black cat from Japan

, touch wood,

originally it was iron that was lucky, to ward of the Fey, then it became something to do with the spirits that live in trees. since other countries also have trees, i would be hard pressed to say it is a truly exclusive British "tradition"

bad luck walk under a ladder,

the reason it's unlucky to walk under a ladder is because something might fall on your head/ since other countries also have gravity, i can not conclude that this is a British custom.

break a mirror, one magpie, spill salt, number 13, Ravens at tower of London, rabbit foot. I dont think many Countries have the same superstitions.

ok - i'm gonna stop now cause i'm bored and the baby is crying. but most "traditions", most "customs", most "Superstitions" can be traced back to wherever you'd like them to be. And as for being anti-British, i think the only true British traditions - and by that i mean what the world sees us for - is football violence, rudeness, and that our country is rife with paedophiles.

hardly cricket tea and cucumber sandwiches on the lawn is it?

I don't know what to say on this subject. Sometimes i think i am a rasist because a foriegn person or a british black person has pissed me off etc. But then british white people piss me off too so i don't know, am i a rasist? Or is it that people in general piss me off?

It is the way history is taught in schools which completely pisses me off. The children who are being raised in this country, wherever they come from originally should have a full and rounded view of the history of the land they have chosen, its institutions and traditions. They need to feel commmonality. But primary schools just stress difference between children.

The food, religion, language, traditions of their family can adequately be taught at home. (and of course should be respected) But the school needs to create fully-integrated British citizens. And I believe that is what the majority of immigrants want: they want to be British, they want their kids to be British, that is why they chose to settle here.

So my kids have learned about the Windrush, slavery, Mary Seacole (but not Florence Nightingale!), they did an assembly on apartheid, learn steel pans and African drumming (but not piano or violin or even recorder)and African dancing (not English folk dancing). The only conventional British history they do up to year 6 is Tudors and a bit of Victorians.

I fear an emphasis on the evils whites did to blacks feeds notions of victimhood among black children who should instead see they have great opportunitiies if they choose to seize them.

And for white kids it gives the idea their culture is a bit shit and dull and they have nothing to contribute.

Are you all still on about this? Give it a rest. Go out and do something. Squattchette move to Australia where everyone like you went in the 60's and stop upsetting people.

It is an entirely valid discussion.

It is not openly discussing the consequences of unprecedented immigration upon society, immediately shutting down debate as "racist", which breeds malcontent and racism.

"First of all i would like to make it clear that i am in no way racist.My childrens father is half asian (although he is also an irish catholic too)."

I am with the poster who said that that opening statement is the calling card of the racist. The concern sounds racist and the terms sound racist.

I note grimly that you define your daughter as white even though your children's father is half-asian.

YABU.

There are some interesting issues discussed on this thread, alongside the other stuff. But could the discussion of these issues be carried on under a new thread title? I don't feel very comfortable seeing this threadtitle appearing in active convos, with its connotation that non-white people are not 'in their own country'.

At the very mixed school my kids have attended the white kids and black kids rarely make friends. Just as the middle class kids and the working class kids don t much mix either. So if your child is the only white child, her choice of friends could be limited. You start off all starry eyed that the "world is just a great big onion", a melting pot etc. But it isn't actually, people don t really mix, they may be civil and respectful and kind but rarely more.

And at the inner city secondary schools where there is a majority of black kids, there is distinct (and often ignored) "inverted racism" against white kids. A friend removed her daughter for this reason.

Sounds dreadful@ TDW

My son attends a very mixed pre-school and everyone plays together. I also see my nieces (aged 12 and 14) mixing beautifully with all manner of race, ethnicicty, religion or whatever.

I can't help feeling sad about this thread. What chance have young children got when the attitudes of the adults around them are so disappointing?

I went to 2 secondary schools. One where the students where mainly Irish and tended to all hang around together.
My second school was very multicultural, a majority from Bagladesh and India. It was a much nicer school and everybody mixed really well. In the 6th form my closest friends where from Nigera, Japan, Sri Lanka, and India. Being in the minority in my first secondary school amde it hard to fit in despite the fact that we were all white. Though most people in my second secondary school were from Asia it was very multicultural so though there were few white people there was really a monority as such just school where people got along most of the time!

Why is it called "inverted racism" - racism is racism, no?

Black n white not making friends? Ok, DD is only 4, but she was at her friend's 5th birthday (black) and there was a 50/50 split of black and white.

Telling squatchette to give it a rest is a bit off - she hasn't been on for ages, tis just a discussion now.

Festivals - they merge and move about from nation and religion - most countries have similar ones, they just have different names/times of the year. New Years Eve even changes depending on which part of Britain you are in - Scotland do their thing, the Cornish first foot etc, the Pagans do it in October...

I want my child to learn about the different histories, slavery etc. I only learnt about Victorians, Tudors, Aviation etc, and even now my knowledge in other areas is severely lacking. I know very little about apartheid (I will make an effort to learn more), I know nothing whatsoever about the cold war (was sick for that part of my GCSE and when I asked how to catch up they told me there was too much and just not to answer those questions!!).