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AIBU?

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Original poster

school coming out to check up on ds tmw morn

126 replies

Sarah510 · 09/03/2020 16:53

so, ds has been off school for 2 weeks tomorrow. I've taken him to the doc twice, last time was Friday, and they said he has a cough, but don't think he needs antibiotics. He's been basically in bed for 2 weeks, he cant move, he is so tired all the time. I dragged him out for a walk the last 3 days but he can only walk a few hundred yards and then we have to go back, and he goes straight to bed. I don't think it's psychological. He cant play his playstation cos it hurts his eyes. He just lays in bed. I'm worried, but also worried about the head of year coming to the house tomorrow. I'm thinking should I try and get him into school tomorrow. They want to set him up in 'student support' where he has a room to 'study'. I don't think he would be able for it though. Well I'll see what he's like tonight. Anyone else any experience of this kind of illness. He doesn't have temp so doc ruled out glandular fever.

OP posts:
Taddda · 09/03/2020 17:31

Have they checked his heart OP? I'd be pushing for more tests?

partofthepeanutgallery · 09/03/2020 17:41

Sounds like what they call Glandular Fever over here. It can really wipe kids out for quite some time!

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 09/03/2020 17:44

Push for more tests and keep nagging until they listen. That is not normal for an 11 year old boy, they should at least be looking at glandular fever. If you don't get anywhere and can afford to go private than I would.

And don't push him into going back to school until he's ready, it will only exhaust him more. Agree to pick up some work for him to complete at home and nothing else.

whyayepetal · 09/03/2020 17:48

Might be worth asking your GP if they think this could be ME (sometimes know as CFS). Symptoms sound like it’s a possible, so worth a check. There is no test that can be done, it is diagnosed by ruling out other things iyswim.

Good luck

Joyfulincolour · 09/03/2020 17:48

Let the Head teacher come and use the visit to support your need to be reviewed by a GP. Explain to the Head, like you have here and hopefully he/she will agree that you need to go back to the Dr. Don't give up OP, this isn't normal and be persistent with the GP. Say that the school have visited due to the amount of time your ds has had off. When another agency gets involved, it sometimes spurs the Dr into action.

Wa1kthisway · 09/03/2020 17:49

And you've told your GP that your son sleeps for more than twelve hours a day for a fortnight and is still tired?
They know this and send him home with a probable cough diagnosis?
Your school's job is attendance. Your role is your son's health. Just let the head of year turn up and ask them to phone the GP with you as it could help.

Devlesko · 09/03/2020 17:52

Sod the school get him to the gps and insist they conduct tests. Tell gp how bad it is and you are attracting school visits as he's been off too long.

Fruitsaladjelly · 09/03/2020 17:59

This sounds just like my cleaners grandson. Loads of sick days, inexplicable symptoms, tested negative for glandular fever, it turned out to be under active thyroid, they had to push and push to be taken seriously

Lynda07 · 09/03/2020 18:01

I can remember being like your son for some quite long periods when I was at school and later and my son was the same for one period of time when at school. With him, glandular fever was suspected but the blood test was negative. In any case a blood test has to be done early to show glandular fever, if it is done a few weeks after onset of symptoms it won't show.

Your son may be depressed, not unusual and he can get better.

If the teacher comes to your house, explain everything as you have here and see what is suggested. There isn't much else you can do except support him, be kind and let him have as much peace and quiet as he desires. He'll gradually get over it. I wonder if he finds school too much but there is little point in speculating, it will gradually all come out. First of all any physical cause must be excluded.

All the best to you and him.

Duckingell · 09/03/2020 18:11

Well he isn't well - that's for sure.

let school visit and then perhaps they can help push the medical services to take him seriously.

Hope he soon feels better .

Emmelina · 09/03/2020 18:13

Let the teacher come, effectively they’re checking you’re not all skiving off on holiday, and that he hasn’t been delivered the beating of his life (it can be a safeguarding concern to not see a student for a long period of time). My first thought was also glandular fever. I had it at 17 and it absolutely floored me. Took months to get back to normal.
The GP needs to run tests.
And I don’t feel bad for suggesting it, because this has clearly been ongoing with no improvement, but perhaps a trip to A&E, too.

itsgettingweird · 09/03/2020 18:14

You can always discuss phased return when he does seem able to manage an hour.

Start with attending a core subject once a day. When he's managed that 2 core subjects a day that are back to back. Build up.

Did it start with a cold? He may have had flu and be post viral - it can take weeks to get over.

MotherOfDragonite · 09/03/2020 18:16

He needs a blood test for glandular fever, as everyone else has said.

My 6 year old had it and the GP was so shockingly reluctant to do a blood test that I ended up getting it done privately. But it helped a lot to know what was going on, and gave me clout with the school for asking for a gentle return when she was ready (eg no PE for about 6 weeks because of risk to the spleen!). Her energy levels were very low for about 12 weeks in total but it was a relief to know what it was.

Sirzy · 09/03/2020 18:18

www.gov.uk/illness-child-education

Worth having a read of this before he visits. After 15 days off school (doesn’t need to be consecutive) then the Local authority should step in to work with you and school to ensure some suitable provision is out in place

8by8 · 09/03/2020 18:26

I remember getting that way around that age - it was pernicious anaemia which is an auto-immune condition. Made me very pale, very tired - could barely watch tv as couldn’t seem to focus. You can only check for something like that with blood tests.

Freezingold · 09/03/2020 18:27

Yanbu

My DS had similar. Tired for 1-2 weeks before half term. Initial fever and then just tiredness and dry cough. Having to sleep during the day. GP said the same. To come back after two weeks but luckily he started to get better then. Also to try and ensure they get enough food and water.

PanannyPanoo · 09/03/2020 18:29

Your son is ill. You know what is normal for you. Hopefully the school are coming from a place of support. Let the teacher see him however he is, dont push to get him up and dressed if he is in bed. I would also not try to force him out for walks, I did with my son and it was the worst thing for him. He was genuinely ill and I wish I had listened to him and my gut rather than try and 'get some fresh air, it will do him good' which everyone esle seemed to think was all it took.

Go back to the GP for bloods as well. I hope he is feeling much better soon.

GaaaaarlicBread · 09/03/2020 18:33

I immediately thought glandular fever , but I was also like this at the age of 10 and it turned out I was having Seizures in my sleep and it was knocking me out . It took mum ages to get the drs to listen to her saying it’s not normal for me.
I’m not saying that’s what you’re son has , but definitely keep pushing for tests as it’s not normal

Namelesswonder · 09/03/2020 18:33

Wow, school coming out, that’s some reaction! my 12 year old was off school for 6 weeks before Christmas. I told them why she was off (reaction to eating a food she is allergic too) and that was that.

1bigjump · 09/03/2020 18:34

I'd push for blood tests, sounds very much like glandular fever. It took me over 6 months to get diagnosed, and that's only because I insisted on blood tests!

Intelinside57 · 09/03/2020 18:35

I think that the school are being really supportive. You're lucky they have time for someone to do this. Let the Head of Year come. It's not going to do any harm.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 09/03/2020 18:35

Forcing him to go to school tomorrow would make it look like you'd been faking his illness all along

Starksforthewin · 09/03/2020 18:38

Agree with everyone about insisting on blood tests. It could be so many things, right up to auto immune conditions/leukaemia and other nasties. Has he had a tick bite? Have you been in wooded areas?
The dizziness and vision issues would also trouble me.

Hope you get some answers, OP. School is definitely second priority after his health.

Winterlife · 09/03/2020 18:43

A friend had those symptoms, and it was mononucleosis. He was ill and mostly bedridden for two months.

cabbageking · 09/03/2020 18:47

School should be verifying children are safe, they are home and not missing somewhere and genuinely ill.

I would not worry. If he needs support to get back to school or work providing at home this is the time to ask.

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