AIBU to not accept this job offer

[jamjarlife]

We are a low income family with 1 DS, he is 2. He goes to nursery 1 day a week and his grandparents look after him 1 day a week. I currently work 2 days (Mon/Tues) and my husband works 4.

I've been made redundant. Its my last day tomorrow, however I've just been offered a job* working Thurs/Fri for the same money I'm on at the moment.

My issue now is that we will need to find childcare for Thurs/Fri as my DS's grandparents can only have him on a Monday. Obviously childcare is very expensive but we do claim universal credit and we get 85% of our childcare costs back.

I calculated that at the moment we live on £23k combined household income (thats 2 sets of wages and then UC)

If I took my redundancy and became unemployed then we'd get £24k combined household income

If I took the new job we'd get £25k combined household income (though you have to consider the fuel costs would probably equal £1k a year at least)

AIBU to consider not taking the job and just caring for my son at home for a year, then once he is 3 I can put him into nursery with the free hours and start working again.

Another option would be to look for another job for Mon/Tues.

(*The job is a basic admin role)

How about not taking the job and finding some voluntary work on the day the gps look after your dc? That way you could keep your skills up for when you can get back into work

Why are people judging the op rather than responding with helpful information.
They didn't ask for redundancy.
OP I hope you find a solution that suits your family.

But if both of you worked a 5 day week tou would be better off , so perhaps both look for full time jobs instead of universal credit ? Failing that turn down the job get pregnant again , stay at home let husband work pt too why not , those of us that work our asses off , take opposing shift jobs so one of us is home to look after kids love that others will only do pt 9_5 while the other partner is working so they get their down time family time . Do what you need to support your family without relying on topups and handouts it will eventually get better and easier

I would stay home, care for your children while they are young. Use that time and take evening courses to improve your job prospects. Only you know what is best for you and your family. I was a sahm for 4 years while mine were young and took courses, relevant to my career. It never affected me in the slightest when it came to finding a job after.

Personally I think you and your partner should both find full time work. If that means you the earn enough to pay for your own childcare then so be it. It's those of us on a low income who are sensible to save every last penny after rent and bills who are really penalised. This government rewards people who spend all their disposable income by handing out universal credit left right and centre. Meanwhile those of us who live within our means and don't have children we can't afford end up funding your lifestyle as well as our own.

Obviously this is not always the case, but a lot of the time, it is. Just because the system is open to abuse, doesn't mean you should.

You only have to read threads here to know you are in a minority to not be affected by being a sahm. Even those who do take courses

I was a sahm for 4 years while mine were young and took courses, relevant to my career. It never affected me in the slightest when it came to finding a job after.

Personally I wouldn't take the job.

I totally understand what your saying about not being better off working and if you worked full time you'd most likely no be entitled to help.

Why miss out on time with your child when he is so young for nothing.
Child care is far too expensive!

Have year off OP, you don't get this time with your children back. Start looking again when he is entitled to free hours. I took 7 years off to bring up my children and got a job after my first interview, so don't worry about having a break for a year! Enjoy it!

OP has stated that both worked full time in the past. Then dc came along and she went part time (not unusual) then dh was made redundant and now she's being made redundant. At what point does that mean she's scrounging ? Her dh boss can't give him more hours at the moment but is still looking for work that can. They've both paid into the system and just need a bit of support to get over this rocky patch . I've been there, it's scary and to an extent you panic.

@poppycoxx well who’s the fool then ? You won’t get a medal at the end you know

Have the year with your son rather than putting him in two different nurseries. Try and spend the time on Mondays when the grandparents have him upping your skills.

Agree with not taking the job, focus on time with your son and getting some additional qualifications, you could end up in a more interesting, better paid job in the future and the extra time with your son is priceless.

If you’re looking for ideas for qualifications, privacy and data protection is a hot topic. There are online courses for that.

YANBU you have to do what's best for your family.

When my kids were younger we were financially better off with me staying at home. By the time you pay for childcare it just wasn't worth it.

You'll get people saying YABU because your relying on benefits to top you up but that's their problem. Ignore the begrudgery and do what's best for you.

I would work out how much income I'd have working full time in my field and then possibly apply for full time work. In the meantime, take the part time job.

I've been made redundant twice in my career but apart from a short stint in my 20s, I have always worked full time and DS was in nursery from 6 months.

We're not rich by any means but DP and I didn't want to rely on benefits and we wanted the security and lifestyle that comes with both of us working full time.

It's also lucky we did as in the time we've been together, he's been fired once and I was made redundant once. We would have been up shit creek if one of us had been working part time or not working at all.

At the end of the day, it depends on what works for your family, but I would consider this: if your OH was made redundant again, would you have enough to get by?

Can you find a weekend or evening job so that you don't incur childcare costs?

Do what's best for you. everybody does. But then don't complain when others do what's best for them.

The people who are telling you to not work and to rely on benefits are the same people slagging off the "older generation" for "voting Tory" to protect their pensions or attacking the "Fat Cats" for making profits.

Working has other advantages and one thing leads to another. You may get something really good out of it.

I also think that this attitude is partly why we are seeing the beginnings of a benefits backlash, (of which UC was the first major step). No-one wants to see a society in which people are better off not working.

Yes but it's the system fault with high rents and high childcare and low wages, as to why some are better off not working more hours.

Also even the government expects those with children under 1 and then 3 to work
zero and then a little less hours and that has been written into universal credit rules.

Universal credit is very punitive so there is no one who is better off not working at all. They may just accept being poor as they are feckless anyway but it's not true under universal credit that you are better off not working at all.

The ones who truly cannot work ie sick and disabled are fucked under universal credit due to the pitifully low rates and the stopping of things like severe disability premium. Also the work group that means you get no extra help and no extra money.

Op in you shoes, I'd stay at home till my child was 3 and fuck off anyone else as children grow so quick. To all those happy working whilst their kids went to full time childcare, Great for you, that's your choice. The op does not have to do this, as she will in fact be £1k better off if she does not.

Blame high childcare costs and the system, not the op who as an individual can do nothing to change this. I would not make myself poorer whilst missing out on spending time with my young child.

Many parents choose to work great but not everyone has to make the same choices.

And the ones banging on about costing the tax payers are low on critical thinking skills, as someone in low income work needing help with childcare, help with rent etc actually costs the government more. It's ideological not economical.

And poppycoxx is full of poppycock and bullshit.

Universal credit is not handed out left right and centre.

Other people do live within their means and save, so you are not as unusual as you seem to think.

The op could afford a child as before they were both working full time then her husband was made redundant and the op herself has only just been made redundant.

So how did they have child that they could not afford, unless you expect everyone to have a crystal ball with regards, to death, divorce, illness, disability and redundancy??

The system was and is abused by a tiny minority so why should the majority needing help be penalised?

More benefits lie unclaimed then claimed as the hoops and paperwork is very hard to wade through.

Also If universal credit is a reward, then what on earth is the punishment? Death by starvation, isolation, being othered, being stigmatised and left out of society, all because you claimed a benefit that you were entitled to??

InTheSummerhouse
The benefit backlash is due to some peoples lack of critical thinking. They don't want to see others do okay (not better, just okay) than themselves.

They would rather vote to make their neighbour poorer than look at inequality in society.

They would rather vote to cap and lower the level of benefits than to seek better and higher wages across the board, because a few people gained a decent lifestyle working 16 or 24 hours.

Wages are crap and lower than in the late 90s and 00s in almost all jobs, why has this not be rectified???

They would rather see the role of parent further devalued by a society, who then wonders why kids are growing up with more mental disorders than ever before.

They would rather a young child be in childcare than be looked after its family members even if it means two different nurseries. Which some on this thread have passed over. 2 different nurseries is awful talk about pushing a young child from pillar to post.

I'm a firm believer in answering the door when opportunity knocks. Always led me to better unexpected things. So in your shoes I'd take the job and see where it leads you.

@neverhadanymarblestolose It’s an admin job two days a week, it is going to led nowhere, we aren’t talking about an opportunity it’s a job. Huge difference

It’s an admin job two days a week, it is going to led nowhere, we aren’t talking about an opportunity it’s a job. Huge difference

OP and her partner sound don't sound hugely career driven anyways and some people need to do admin work. not everyone can have a high flying career.

and admin jobs lead to better things. I started as admin in my current compeny, moved to cust service/sales support and and I am doing sales. I travel internationally, have a company car and a pretty decent salary. work ethic got me there, not doing the calculation if I would be better off in the very short term by getting my funding from the tax payer.

If everyone would take this approach and not take a lower paid job with the aim to develop the career, the country would be on its knees. Benefits are a safety net and for this who cannot work, not for this who don't want to.

I clicked YANBU to consider it. However, personally i’d Take it and think of the long term. You got this new job easily but jobs aren’t always easy to come by. When you actually want one you could be searching for months.

Child care is far too expensive!

Is it? How would you make it cheaper? Nursery nurses already earn a pittance. Would you like them to work for free? How about fewer staff per child? Turning the lights and heating off at the nursery?

When my kids were younger we were financially better off with me staying at home. By the time you pay for childcare it just wasn't worth it.

The people who say things like this are the same people expressing shock and dismay when they discover, in their fifties, that their pension won’t be very good and they can’t retire at 60 to a future filled with cruises and hobbies.

Of course it is worth it. You continue to build up pension entitlement and keep your hand in, career wise. Admin jobs aren’t that easy to get, particularly the part time variety. Who’s to say that the OP won’t struggle in a few years when she tries to re-enter the workplace?

Well clearly your mind is made up that you want to take a year off so.... ?