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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not accept this job offer

78 replies

jamjarlife · 09/03/2020 11:55

We are a low income family with 1 DS, he is 2. He goes to nursery 1 day a week and his grandparents look after him 1 day a week. I currently work 2 days (Mon/Tues) and my husband works 4.

I've been made redundant. Its my last day tomorrow, however I've just been offered a job* working Thurs/Fri for the same money I'm on at the moment.

My issue now is that we will need to find childcare for Thurs/Fri as my DS's grandparents can only have him on a Monday. Obviously childcare is very expensive but we do claim universal credit and we get 85% of our childcare costs back.

I calculated that at the moment we live on £23k combined household income (thats 2 sets of wages and then UC)

If I took my redundancy and became unemployed then we'd get £24k combined household income

If I took the new job we'd get £25k combined household income (though you have to consider the fuel costs would probably equal £1k a year at least)

AIBU to consider not taking the job and just caring for my son at home for a year, then once he is 3 I can put him into nursery with the free hours and start working again.

Another option would be to look for another job for Mon/Tues.

(*The job is a basic admin role)

OP posts:
Bella2020 · 09/03/2020 12:58

I'd pass on this role (if you can when UC is involved) and keep looking for something that fits better with your family and offers more hours. Yes, you can claim most childcare costs back, but you need the cash to fork out in the first instance and that must be tough.

katy1213 · 09/03/2020 13:05

YABU if you're claiming benefits. Why should other people's taxes fund your husband's four-day week and your staying at home?

dairyfairies · 09/03/2020 13:06

I can only assume that the child has SN which makes it harder to find childcare.

OP, have you spoken to the council about inclusive providers? It's hard but can be done. My daughter has very special needs and I needed to get back to work after mat leave. She attended two different nurseries. With having 3 days covered by family it would have been pretty doable if you don't have endless hospital and therapy appointments.

Original poster
jamjarlife · 09/03/2020 13:06

Weirdly, I hadn't considered going back full time. I was full time before my baby and went back on a job share because of the high cost of childcare. We do get 85% of that back but I don't think we would if I was working full time - as income would be greater.

It all feels like a bit of a balancing act.

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 09/03/2020 13:14

Can someone tell me what a SAAS qualification is please as in Scotland it’s only showing the student awards agency Scotland when I google?

dontdisturbmenow · 09/03/2020 13:14

What's the point of this thread? You had a FT job and decided to cut it by 3/5th with a husband working 4 days rather than 5 knowing that you could get the difference in benefits. Why is it any different now? You've calculated you'll hardly be better off working at all, and are seeing it that it's not worth it at all.

It all very depends on your worth in the workplace. Are you likely to be able to get another job that suits your needs in 12 months time? Is your OH's job secure? Would he get any redundancy? Would he too likely to get another job without much trouble if he lost his?

Too many families make decisions based on the now without thinking of the consequences in the future. Then they cry outrage when they find themselves in trouble, and blame the governement.

So really, in the end, it's up to you. If you are very confident that your OH's job is secure and that you can go back to more hours in 12 months time, without falling pregnant again, then go ahead. Do consider the situation of you giving up your job, falling pregnant again and your OH being made redundant and where that would leave you if it happened.

SexIsAProtectedCharacteristic · 09/03/2020 13:18

I assume she meant software as a service but I don't know how you're supposed to earn 45k from knowing it exists.

crustycrab · 09/03/2020 13:18

"Saas for example would earn you £45,000 a year and you can do the course online for free."

Eh? Confused

ChrissieKeller61 · 09/03/2020 13:20

@SexIsAProtectedCharacteristic funnily enough you do have to take the course. It’s one of many many things a person could retrain for in a year at home

RJnomore1 · 09/03/2020 13:21

Thank you

Spinakker · 09/03/2020 13:23

I'd spend the time with your son. Like others have said you'll never get the time back again with him.

SexIsAProtectedCharacteristic · 09/03/2020 13:24

None of those are free though Confused

ChrissieKeller61 · 09/03/2020 13:27

That particular one isn’t ... but now you know what it is I’m sure you’ll find tye free one if you look hard enough. You’re welcome

Greedypeopleithink · 09/03/2020 13:41

I would stay at home and look after the LO! You have an admin job, no offence but you can easily go back and get one of them once ur LO is in nursery. Its only one year.
You have and will pay your tax in the future. So i would rely on the government for support. Ignore posts that say benefits are not a life style choice etc. The government is set up in such a way that its people like yourself that are on low income that struggle the most. So i would not feel guilty for accessing the support. If childcare was cheaper for you then you would have gone back. If you was not made redundant, you would have been working. It is those circumstances that are out of your control that have put you in this difficult position. I cant imagine the stress you have gone through. Take redundancy, enjoy being a mum to your LO and if you can, try and get some qualifications or work experince in something which would allow you to get a better paid job in the future. You have the support system with childcare to dedicate 1 or 2 days to building up your CV. Goodluck OP.

Namechangexyz1 · 09/03/2020 13:57

Both are working part time so they can claim benefits

In that case why can't DH have the child for one day.

LukeSkywalkingOnTheseHaters · 09/03/2020 14:00

What @dontdisturbmenow said

Original poster
jamjarlife · 09/03/2020 16:03

Thanks @Greedypeopleithink I really appreciate your response.

Both me and DH have worked full time our whole lives, only since having DS have I cut it down to 2 days. DH was made redundant in July last year, went from working 47h a week to only managing to secure 30. I hardly think we're spongers.

OP posts:
strivingtosucceed · 09/03/2020 16:17

OP is there any reason why you must take this job and not look for another that fits your situation better? Bear in mind that if you're finding it difficult to find a new role now, it may be that much harder if you take a year off. Also consider what happens if you get pregnant again while you're off.

Zombiemum1946 · 09/03/2020 16:35

If you turn down this job if doesn't mean there won't be another, dh may well be able to get another job as well. You can do training courses to keep your hand in till you can re org. I've been where you are. It took us 4 years to get completely back on our feet whilst dh retrained. Main thing to say is don't panic about it. There are plenty of options out there.

Zombiemum1946 · 09/03/2020 16:36

Is there a work from home option ?

bibliomania · 09/03/2020 16:45

In your shoes I'd take the job - it may not be quite as easy to walk into another job after you've been away for a year. If it's only two days a week, it doesn't stop you from spending plenty of time with your son, and also doing some retraining as well.

My DD went to more than one nursery (separated parents using different nurseries, partly based on the convenience for our respective workplaces) and it wasn't a problem.

NoveltyFunsy · 09/03/2020 17:33

surely you must take the job?

VenusTiger · 09/03/2020 17:53

Have you asked employers if you can work Mon/Tues instead?

Nomel · 09/03/2020 19:03

Take the job.