Break up - work tomorrow

[Ninjabambi9876]

So my Long term boyfriend (same one I have spoken about before) broke up with me today, travelled down to tell me he cared for me but didn’t love me, that he had know for 2 years (we have been together for nearly 5) and that we didn’t work together and were too different. I am heartbroken, I have work tomorrow and don’t know what to do, I know it sounds pathetic but I am so confused and hurt.

I had to go in and teach through a very difficult break up some years ago. It was exhausting, but actually I think the nature of teaching helped me deal with it. When in the classroom, I had to be completely in that headspace and it gave me a break from the heartache and sad thoughts. It also kept me grounded and aware than there was more in my life than the heartache, otherwise I think it could have taken over all my thoughts.

I'd go to work, it's a great distraction.

Going in might help, the kids are amazing for taking your mind off things - I am gping through something similar and actually going in is the thing that helps the most.
It is horrible and so hard but you will get through it. Talk to friends if you can , that can help

He probably didn't "not love you for the past 2 years", he does what everyone does, justifies why he has decided to split up with you.

There's no easy or quick way to get over that, he's been a big part of your life for a long time.

If you can go into work, try to. Try to immerse yourself in teaching those kids, they are the future and need your support. It will take a lot more than one day to get through this so just take it gently one day at a time.

You'll find they take your mind off everything, the "little darlings"

Xposted with @hurtingheart19 and @diamonddandelions

I’m sure you can feel d&v coming on right now, can’t you OP? 😉

As we speak...?😉

Take a little time out for yourself in next day or 2, he sounds downright horrid... there’s ways to behave, and that’s not one of them😡
What a rotten git😡
Hang on in there til Easter hols then spoil yourself, maybe a city shopping day, seaside day with friends, re-do your living room, bedroom, even if it’s just moving furniture round. Just make your space ‘yours’ again. Gives mind and body something to do... and you can plan it over next few weeks til the hols.
I did similar room planning, freshening walls etc when I was widowed, it helps such a lot... stops you wallowing and fretting.
Wishing you happier times 🌻🌻

Call in sick. Say it’s a stomach bug or cold. You need a day (at least) to get yourself back together. Try and do something nice for yourself tomorrow - go for a walk, get your nails done, take yourself out for lunch. 💐

Break ups are so hard. Look after yourself OP.

It really depends what type of person you are. I like to bury myself in work after I found out my ExH was having an affair I buried myself in work. My current DP is same after his wife died he was back in work after 24 hours. It worked for both of us, filled our minds until it wasn't quite so awful to think about.

Similar situation. I had 36 sleepless, not eating, not drinking (water) hours before back to work.

I lost it as soon as my nice colleague arrived and said "morning, good weekend?" as usual.

Just phone in sick. Give yourself time to take a breath.

Thanks everyone, feeling a bit numb right now. What does d&v mean? He messaged the night before saying he needed to talk so him coming down wasn’t really for me but for him. He wouldn’t tell me anything before.

I don’t think anyone could concentrate having been told that, plus you can’t run and hide in the toilets like in some other jobs. Write cover now, then phone when you’re supposed to and email in the cover. I know I wouldn’t be in a fit state to teach.

Oh that is shitty.

D&v=diarrhea and vomiting.

For what it's worth, I once line managed someone who went through a very sudden and unexpected break up. Her GP actually signed her off for a few days due to stress. I was happy she was able to do this. She also asked me to let the others in the team know so she didn't have to tell them herself or get any awkward questions. No one thought any the worse of her. Work might be a good distraction but only you know how things are likely to play out at your workplace though, so I don't think it would be unreasonable to come down with a "tummy bug".

Whenever I broke up with someone I hauled myself into work when I was in no fit state. Yes it is tempting to take your mind of things, but your nerves will be shot and you won't be sleeping. Take a few days off to process it. Get outside for some fresh air and work out what's next.

I feel for you OP. Its very hard, and unnecessarily cruel to say he hadn't loved you for 2 years. I wouldn't assume thats true - but in the end there's no right way to end relationships and someone is always going to be hurt. Its messy and summons up all sorts of grief - anger, hurt, pain, that sick feeling right to the pit of your stomach. So do look after yourself. Hard to believe I know but you will get over it - you will start to feel better before long. But right now baby steps. Take each day as it comes.

See how you feel about work. I wouldn't assume you can't manage work - sometimes having a usual routine to adhere to helps. I split up with my XH after 20 years and two small DC and kept going to work. In the end I only took one day off. Because having the structure helped me and I didn't know what I would do lost at home. Only you will know what works for you. Don't feel any pressure to do anything. But do try to book in a few little things to raise your spirits - see a friend at the weekend, go to a film, go to a favourite place or shop.

Are you a member of a gym?
If yes, then get down there and do some exercise as it releases endorphins and will give you time to clear your mind.

If you are not a member of a gym - go out for a walk for 30 mins with some pumping music and time for headspace.

He wasted your time and you lost out on chances to be happy with someone who would love you back - but don't forget, this means you now have time to get yourself back on track and into a good headspace where you will know when the right person comes.

Don't phone in sick - this will just give you time to dwell and be maudlin and is no good for your mental health - you need a distraction.

Take care and get some fresh air and play, "shake it off" at high volume!

I’m a teacher so don’t know if I could

Yes you can.
You can self cert. for up to 5 days.

In your back to work interview you can either say D&V or tell the truth. Your partner has ended your relationship and you are devastated.

Take care OP.

Depends

If you can leave drama at home, then go to work

If you will air at work, stay at home for everyone’s sake

You could get signed off for a week op. You will really struggle

5 years is longer than a lot of marriages, of course you are going to be gutted.
Think carefully about what you tell them though. If you have an unsympathetic manager it might be best to say you have diarrhoea and vomiting. No one wants that. Gives you 48hours to cry, get angry, meet a friend and bitch about him, eat cake and reflect on how much of a nicer person you are.

@bring it’s not about drama, it’s severe emotional pain that manifests mentally but also physically.

So sorry OP, no wonder you are upset. See how you feel in the morning, if you can’t face it, call in sick.

I just want to say that I’m so sorry for you. It’s absolutely awful. If you need time off you will have to take it. But then get into work so that you can be distracted and possibly supported. I really feel for you. The great news is things are going to get so much better and you will come through this the other side. I wish I could help you but honestly try to believe that it’s painful but recoverable. You are worth much more than this!