DH making a racket in the car

[CoronaMona]

I can’t stand noise and get stressed out with loud or repetitive noises especially if I’m in a confined space. Our dog barks in the car and it drives me insane but obviously I know she’s a dog and isn’t doing it to be a pain. I just have to try and shut it out.

When she does this however DH has started making loud, high pitched peacock noises. It drives me fucking crazy and of course winds the dog up more. I tell him to stop and he just continues as if he can’t hear me. I ended up proper screaming at him yesterday because the barking and the peacock noises was literally making me feel like my head was going to explode.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t not travel with him and he’s just not listening to me about this yet normally he’s a lovely man, no abuse ... no other issues.

I’m actually worried I might flip and end up hitting him. I’m not a violent person at all but the state it gets me into makes me lose my head completely. He thinks it’s funny. I’m not fucking laughing. I’m annoyed. He could stop this.

Well he sounds weird as hell if he won't stop when asked. I suggest you pull over, park up, remove the keys from the ignition and walk away.

You need to calmly tell him that you are finding it difficult enough to concentrate with the dog barking and he is making the situation far worse.

Leave him at home and drive yourself? To be honest making a dog go crazy in the car would really wind me up. If he's that inconsierate and bonkers I'd question what else he does that stupid.

I'd go insane if I drove with him in the car.

Can you talk to him about it later and tell him that it makes you want to leave him?

What noise does a peacock make?
Does he do other bird noises?
Is he quite well?

Sorry OP I just read this out to my partner as it's so bizarre. My 7 year old who is playing on a console in the same room said 'why would he do that if it doesn't stop the dog?'
That's from a child. I think it's your husband that's barking.

you ask him to stop but he carries on? How weird of him.

He walks the dog to your destination

Are you the one driving? If not can you wear earphones. Obviously not if you are driving, but then I would be telling DH he is walking. You also need to work on your dog not barking in the car.

I saw a programme on this the other say( barking dog, not your husband!)

Apparently the dog barks because it’s scared. What this guy did, was Sith the dog in the back seat with a lead on. Everything it started he gave a gentle tug on the lead. When the dog quietened down it got a treat.

Dunno if this will help!

Talk to him when you're both calm and not in, nor about to get into the car.

Well this is an odd one!

Stop the car, calmly order him out unless he stops. Stop the car (if safe to do so!) every time he does it.

Does he drive??

I would refuse to drive with a passenger who behaved like that. Of course you don't have to drive with him. Tell him that he behaves properly or he gets out of car and walks.

Dogs can take time to get used to cars. Short local journeys at first, some culminating in a blast at the park, others just round the block and back home. Sometimes maybe you just sit on the drive and run the engine for a few minutes but go nowhere.

When my labrador was very young it did seem to help just having someone (usually the kids) in the back with him. He was on a car harness that fitted into the seatbelt clip and the kids were not babies or toddlers, so pretty safe.

How would your dog be with something to chew whilst in the car. Mine used to love those dried pig's ears you can buy, and it is pretty difficult to bark and chew. Worth a try if you don't have a dog who gets travel sick.

I didn't think anything could be more irritating than a peacock screeching, but a bloke screeching like a peacock could be

What the actual fuck? Why would a grown man do that?
He’ll be t-rexing in Asda before you know it.

Dear god OP how the fuck are you with a man who is so juvenile?

That would drive me nuts. I am the same OP, can't stand noise. My house is always noisy. 2 boys and a dp who seems to be deaf when watching the TV (he's definitely not) I get very agitated. They can be very loud in the car aswell and it usually ends with me losing my temper.
Why does he think its OK to annoy the dog even more. Sound like the car stresses the dog out, then he is adding to the stress on purpose.

I can’t not travel with him why not? Why does the dog need to be in the car too? Your husband obviously enjoys winding you up, is he immature in other ways too?

He can’t behave like a decent human being then he doesn’t come in the car with you.

He’s a first class knob.

This is all so weird. Your DH is being an absolute dick.

I would tell him once more that you are absolutely not going to drive around with him doing that again. Ever. Next time he does it pull over where it’s safe, take key out of ignition and walk off. Have money phone etc on you at all time. Take Uber or whatever home. Ignore him. Be consistent. (I’m basing this advice on the idea that you can’t make him leave the car.)

Pleading with him, asking him to stop, is giving him attention. He clearly knows you don’t like this, so I wouldn’t degrade myself by giving him the power and getting me to beg him to stop. Plan every journey before you go so you know how to walk away from it.

Christ it’s like I’m talking about training an animal here. He truly sounds like a dick. Jokes are only jokes if the other person is laughing or at least not hurt by it. This is bizarre behaviour from someone who is supposed to love you.

What an arse he is. Like a 12 year old boy. He won’t find it so funny when you start making peacock noises and getting the dog to bark at home when he’s taking a nap. Revenge!

Most of the 'D' husbands and partners of mumsnetters sound unhinged.

I can't help with your DH, he's behaving like a fucking twat.

I totally understand the repetitive noises issue, it makes me VERY tense as well.

For your dog though, I'd recommend watching a recent episode of Dogs Behaving Very Badly where Graham Hall shows a case of a dog barking constantly in the car. It might help. There's also a Dog House topic on here.

I know exactly how you feel OP! Sometimes at home DP will be talking to me, toddler DS will be playing loudly, baby DS will be fussing and the tv is on and I just get sensory overload! However, when I say to DP that I need a min to sort baby out and turn off tv he acts like a normal human and lets me do just that.
So wtf is up with your DP?! Do you say afterwards how annoying you find it?

I'd definitely do as OPs say, safely pull over and tell him to stop. Every time.

What noise is a peacock noise?! It might be irritating but YABU to contemplate violence. You seem a little on edge....

Who's driving?

If it's you, stop the car, every single time.

If it's him, refuse to get in it.

When you're at home, ask him why he enjoys upsetting you (and the dog. He's barking because he's scared/unhappy)