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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH making a racket in the car

77 replies

CoronaMona · 08/03/2020 11:24

I can’t stand noise and get stressed out with loud or repetitive noises especially if I’m in a confined space. Our dog barks in the car and it drives me insane but obviously I know she’s a dog and isn’t doing it to be a pain. I just have to try and shut it out.

When she does this however DH has started making loud, high pitched peacock noises. It drives me fucking crazy and of course winds the dog up more. I tell him to stop and he just continues as if he can’t hear me. I ended up proper screaming at him yesterday because the barking and the peacock noises was literally making me feel like my head was going to explode.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t not travel with him and he’s just not listening to me about this yet normally he’s a lovely man, no abuse ... no other issues.

I’m actually worried I might flip and end up hitting him. I’m not a violent person at all but the state it gets me into makes me lose my head completely. He thinks it’s funny. I’m not fucking laughing. I’m annoyed. He could stop this.

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 08/03/2020 12:26

@JoshArcherStoleMyTractor

A Peacock's cry is not pleasant. It's more of a loud, prolonged squawk. But worse.

AriadnesFilament · 08/03/2020 12:26

Stop car. “Get out” Every single time he does it.

What an absolute arse.

Sparticuscaticus · 08/03/2020 12:28

DH is behaving like an idiot. He's also quiet unsafe making loud noises like that in the car if/ whilst you are driving to wind the dog up.

I really would have a talk with him about never doing that again and if he does that I'd be pulling over and asking him to exit the car ( and go play in the playground with other children making silly loud noises to his hearts content like that where no one will be bothered by it)

Shannith · 08/03/2020 12:29

Does he T-Rex in the supermarket?

honeylulu · 08/03/2020 12:29

If it's you driving, pull over and stop the car, every time.

If he is driving get out at the first available opportunity. Noise cancelling headphones are also a good idea as pps have suggested.

My husband used to try and annoy or distract me sometimes when I drove because he thought I was over cautious and prissy (I would turn the radio off when filtering on to the motorway etc, he would turn it back on louder.) I ended up letting rip and refusing to be designated driver for a full year - we used to take turns so the other could have a drink - he didn't like that at all! He's never done it since.

Pentium85 · 08/03/2020 12:31

Sorry what 😂

tallah · 08/03/2020 12:34

I really need to know what a peacock sounds like

AutumnRose1 · 08/03/2020 12:35

OP the first thing I thought was I’d end up hitting him

He’s deliberately trying to upset you. Sorry, but even with no other issues, that’s not a good sign.

SeaGale · 08/03/2020 12:38

What's a peacock noise?? And WHY is he choosing to make that noise?!

honeylulu · 08/03/2020 12:44

Peacock noise is sort of a high pitched "ooowww" noise. It's not unpleasant in the grounds of a stately home (for example), but in the car, very irritating I imagine.

Also quite cruel of him to wind up the dog.

FlamingoAndJohn · 08/03/2020 12:44

Peacocks make the most irritating noise.
Where I grew up the people over the road (beautiful Manor House) kept peacocks.
I’m a vegetarian and literally won’t harm a fly but I’d wilfully have strangled those bastards.

Imagine a cockerel making the noise of a car alarm.

Winterwoollies · 08/03/2020 12:47

What is with all these threads about really weird men doing really odd things? Peacock noises and some other bloke who’s become obsessed with a child interviewed on a news segment.

Maybe it’s because they’re out of context but I just can’t compute the behaviour of these men. It’s utterly strange.

percheron67 · 08/03/2020 12:47

Why on earth do you let the dog bark in the car?! Tell him "stop" and make sure he understands. Obviously, do this at home when the car is not moving. Don't let the dog win the battle - you are supposed to be the one in charge.

LouiseCollina · 08/03/2020 12:48

Oh God OP I really feel for you! Some people may be laughing but I'm one of those people who CANNOT STAND distracting unnecessary noise! If I walk into a room and there's a telly and radio on at the same time I need to shut at least one of them off immediately because I feel as if my brain is about to explode from overload. My partner couldn't give a shite if the telly, radio, games console, internet, and every other device on earth were all on at the same time, but thank God he's sensitive to how badly it affects me. If he pulled a stunt like this even once I'd go fucking berserk! I think you're going to have to take the advice already offered of stopping the car or chucking him out of it. What he's doing is also dangerous if you're at the wheel. Has it occurred to him that distraction at that level could cause you to lose control of the car?!

mrsBtheparker · 08/03/2020 12:49

I tell him to stop

You may get a better response were you to ask him rather than tell him, the world doesn't revolve round you!

underfall · 08/03/2020 12:52

”Why on earth do you let the dog bark in the car?! Tell him "stop" and make sure he understands. Obviously, do this at home when the car is not moving. Don't let the dog win the battle - you are supposed to be the one in charge.”

Or to rephrase slightly:

Why on earth do you let a passenger screech in the car?! Tell him "stop" and make sure he understands. Obviously, do this at home when the car is not moving. Don't let the screecher win the battle - the driver is supposed to be the one in charge.

fiddledefiddle · 08/03/2020 12:55

Is he on glue?

AutumnRose1 · 08/03/2020 12:55

“ Has it occurred to him that distraction at that level could cause you to lose control of the car?!”

This.

Also, if he’s driving, pull up the handbrake as soon as it’s safe to do it.

skybluee · 08/03/2020 12:56

When he does it, simply stop the car and don't start again until he stops. Obviously words are having little effect, so time to take action. Does he understand it's upsetting you?

gingersausage · 08/03/2020 13:05

Why did you get a dog if you can’t stand noises?
How long have you been with him and did he suddenly start making noises?
If not, why did you marry him?

dimdarkashian · 08/03/2020 13:09

This is the funniest thread I've read today 🦚

nowayhose · 08/03/2020 13:14

I cannot believe that if your 'D'H does this to you in the car, despite you repeatedly asking him not to, that you really don't have any other problems with him in your relationship :(

He's not acting like a grown up man, more like a demanding, badly behaved child !

You need to be a grown up, and tell him, before you get in the car, that you want him to sit in the back seat and repeatedly correct the dog every time it barks (e.g tug on lead to distract, offer treat to distract etc).
Also tell him that if he does the 'peacock noise, even ONCE, then you will stop the car and he can bloody well walk to your destination because it upsets you when he does this.

If he continues, then I'd stop the car. If he refuses to get out, then YOU get out and take the car keys with you. If necessary, take the bus home and leave him there with the car and the dog !

He is an asshole, and will carry on upsetting you for his own amusement and pleasure as long as you continue to allow it !

Again, I'm struggling to believe this is your ONLY issue with him :(

Thehop · 08/03/2020 13:14

What an absolute tosser

Casander · 08/03/2020 13:14

Imagine explaining that to the police/insurance "sorry officer, my husband thinks he's a peacock and was singing the song of his people along with the dog which distracted me and I went into the back of poor Colin who was minding his own business"

I'd refuse to drive with him in the car, or make him drive if possible.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 08/03/2020 13:14

Why is he doing a "peacock noise"?

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