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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is ridiculous

192 replies

Sparkly212 · 06/03/2020 15:47

DS (18) works in retail at the weekends. He has had a hard time since he got This job last summer with his new manager who started a few months ago and another bitchy two faced colleague who thinks she is better than everyone else and who outshines herself to make her look the best.

Anyway, I’ll not get into that, DS has been told by his manager that as soon as a customer enters the shop, he needs to approach the customer and ask them if they’d like any help. AIBU to find this ridiculous?

I know myself that when I go to shops I don’t like the staff annoying me as soon as I come in, I’d expect them to give me a minute or two and if I’m still there and haven’t approached the staff myself, I’d have expected them to ask me if I’m okay and if I need any help.

DS’ manager has told DS that it is unacceptable to leave a customer for a minute or two when they come in as they may feel ignored and then leave. Yes nobody should ignore a customer - but is it really necessary to hassle a customer as soon as they enter? Surely that would piss them off more?

OP posts:
DesLynamsMoustache · 06/03/2020 16:18
Grin
To think this is ridiculous
Lllot5 · 06/03/2020 16:19

When I worked in retail we were told 30 secs maximum before we approached a customer. We didn’t agree with it nor did a lot of customers frankly but we did as we were told.
I’ve no doubt this women is a bitch but there’s always one wherever you work so he best get used to that too.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 06/03/2020 16:19

And as for the colleague, firstly you perhaps don’t know the full story unless you’re actually accompanying your son to work (or are you...?) and secondly it’s for him to sort out. If he’s old enough to be employed and responsible, he’s old enough to fight his own battles as an actual functioning adult.

B0bbin · 06/03/2020 16:20

YANBU. I hate being approached like this and it would make my shopping experience less pleasant and I'd probably leave. I don't know why people are saying not to get involved. He's 18 and your son, so you are involved. This is early on in his working life though, so it might be a good time for him to learn that sometimes you have to do things that you don't agree with because it's what the manager is asking...

motherheroic · 06/03/2020 16:20

I don't get annoyed when I'm approaches as soon as I walk through the door because I know the manager is pressuring the workers to do it. A quick 'no thank you' ends it's quickly.

Peanutbutteryogurt · 06/03/2020 16:21

Is it Lush or the body shop? It's a pain in th arse but not the end of the world

MrsEHB · 06/03/2020 16:21

In both these instances your son is in the wrong - he doesn't get to decide store policies and he should be back from his break on time. Can you give us an example of him being bullied when he is doing his job to an acceptable standard? Otherwise it doesn't sound like this colleague is a bully, just a suck up, and we all know one of those where we work!

tiredanddangerous · 06/03/2020 16:22

The thing about being an employee is that you follow the rules and do what management tell you. That would be a very good life lesson to give your son, rather than telling him he should ignore company policies.

OhCaptain · 06/03/2020 16:22

You don't know what actually happens though, because it's not your job. It's his.

I think you would both benefit from you taking a massive step back here. Seriously.

He's not being bullied. He's being asked to do something very, very simple.

He's also not in the trenches or anything! Nobody will die if he just looks for another Saturday job.

Seriously, you're completely overreacting. Perhaps it's time to gently loosen the apron strings a bit!

arethereanyleftatall · 06/03/2020 16:22

And, this is what happens when you helicopter parent. Utterly unemployable children.

ShesCurly · 06/03/2020 16:22

Ok, so he's not doing what he's been told to do, from your update. He needs to either start doing that, or get another job. Pointless arguing about it.

This.

He's 18. First jobs like this are partly for us to learn how to deal with disputes, difficult colleagues, arsehole managers and the general public at their best and worst.

He is going to have to deal with a LOT worse during the course of his career.

With all due respect - calm down a little! If he's already anxious then you matching his anxieties to the extent you're spending time calling this young woman a bitch on the internet, then you are probably feeding his anxiety not helping it.

Like I said, jobs at his age are all about learning skills, including coping skills, that you'll need to navigate the rest of your working life.

He's been told to do something, all of them have been told to do it. If he doesn't want to do it then he needs to go to the management with a reason he doesn't want to. If they don't agree with his reasoning then he either needs to concede and do it anyway, or start applying for new jobs.

That's working life when you first start out I'm afraid.

Wallowinginfilth · 06/03/2020 16:22

Yabu. You should not be encouraging your son to make complaints about every stupid decision by management. In retail no decision are bottom up, everything is top down and company wide. His manager won't be encouraging him to greet customers on a whim, he'll be getting memos or attending meetings where he is told to do this and his regional manager will be checking up on him.

If workers complain about it being stupid or it turning customers away, they will not be listened to.

I'm guessing your son doesn't want to stay in retail forever? Tell him to find a way of doing what his manager says and making it work for him.

As pps said a breezy "hi, let me know if you need anything" is not too bad.

jellycatspyjamas · 06/03/2020 16:22

If he wasn’t late back, his colleague wouldn’t have anything to gossip about. If he’s old enough to have a job he’s old enough to find his way in the world of work.

WorraLiberty · 06/03/2020 16:23

I’m really only making this thread because I want to know why he is being bullied Because he is putting the customer first

You call it 'putting the customer first'.

But it's also known as 'thinking you know better than your manager'.

He either has to shape up or ship out.

TerrorWig · 06/03/2020 16:24

You’re being too overbearing, this is your son’s job not yours. Making a complaint because he’s picking on him? Are you serious?! If he’s not late back from his break then no need for anyone to say anything.

And this is standard practice for lots of retail places. YA so far past U you’re getting into crazy town.

APatchyTomCat · 06/03/2020 16:24

“Look son, I know you don’t like approaching customers as soon as they enter the shop. To be fair, most customers don’t like it either, but most people understand that you’re doing it because you’ve been told to.

So just do it.

If you really can’t bear it, I’ll help you look for a different job”

WorraLiberty · 06/03/2020 16:25

And, this is what happens when you helicopter parent. Utterly unemployable children.

That's what I was just thinking.

I wonder if the OP was 'that parent' all through her son's school life.

mnthrowaway202020 · 06/03/2020 16:25

It’s standard retail practice, Jesus Christ. It’s called front cover, you do until you’re senior enough for other tasks.

A greeting isn’t necessarily pushy. Just smile and say hello, ask if they need help and if not, let them know they can approach you if they need anything later. The customer won’t feel suffocated.

msmith501 · 06/03/2020 16:25

Actually a good employer always encourages employees to come forward with ways to improve customer service - using a defined process obviously - the days of the employer being right only really exists in archaic retail outlets and small businesses owned by dinosaurs. I speak as someone whose company has won employee of the year NW for thee years and the queens award for industry. All in the past four years. It's only passive employees that give crap managers power.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/03/2020 16:26

Most people hate this, and the manager ought to realise that.
YANBU. But if he’s been told to do it.....

OhCaptain · 06/03/2020 16:27

Well that's all very nice @msmith501 but completely irrelevant!

Monsterjam · 06/03/2020 16:27

He’s not doing as he asked to by his boss of course they will be on his back about it. Stop helicoptering him and let him sort out his work place problems otherwise he will never learn. YABU to set the example of calling women bitches etc

ShesCurly · 06/03/2020 16:27

And I'm sorry but he's been told to greet customers immediately. He hasn't done so and has said this is because he doesn't think he should have to. He's been reminded he needs to do it. He is still actively choosing not to.

He also knows what time his breaks are over but he was late. It doesn't really matter by how long, he knew when to be back and he was late.

You do seem to rather think there's one rule for him and one rule for everyone else... I'm sure he's a lovely boy but he must have a quite entitled attitude to be moaning when he's not adhering to two very simple rules his workplace asks everyone to adhere to - greeting and break times.

Maybe she's pissed off that she's playing by the rules and getting paid the same as someone else who isn't - two sides to every story!

Undies1990 · 06/03/2020 16:28

If your DS won't do what is expected of him, he will be fired so my advice would be to start looking for another job.

You need to back off as you are clearly too overly involved.

IHaveBrilloHair · 06/03/2020 16:28

It's not your job ffs, beak helicopter propellers out.
He needs to do what his boss asks.