To not cook meat for partner

[Spoppit]

I know it may seem silly but friends are having such a debate about this 'issue' at the minute I've started to feel bad...

I've been vegetarian for 14 years both my children have been brought up vegetarian too, the texture of meat cooked or uncooked makes me feel sick, I can't stand the smell etc.
My partner eats meat and its not an issue for me that he does, if we order take out or go out to eat he has meat, I'd never expect him to stop...But I don't want to cook it, am I being unreasonable/unfair?

I'm not a vegetarian, I wouldn't expect a vegetarian to buy, handle or cook meat for me. I would expect to be able to eat what I liked in my own home though. Is your partner actually bothered?

Do what you want OP.
I’m a meat eater and DH is a veggie.
My DH has been a vegetarian for over 40 years but he handles bloody raw beef and mince when he makes the dog food in the pressure cooker, about 3 times a week. He’s got used to it and it doesn’t bother him.

Yanbu to not cook it, unless it's something with minimum handling like roasting imo.

However, so me pp are BU imho. If I was told by my partner that I can't even keep meet/dairy/eggs at home I would not want to live with that person. To be fair, I would probably never move in anyway though. My DH doesn't eat certain things for religious reasons. I eat them. Where I grew up these things were actually big part of the diet. So I keep them in a separate place in a fridge so there wouldn't be cross contamination issues. Should he say "No, you can't have it in a house" he would be an ex.

YNBA however, how old are your children? Is it their choice to be vegetarian? I'm only asking out of curiosity

Do you have children? Do you make them eat meat? Is it their choice to eat it? Just curious.

OP YANBU.

My BF is vegetarian and has been for decades, she cooked meat for her children. Her view was that her children would make their own minds up wether to eat meat or not as they got older, she said her choice of what to eat and not to eat shouldnt be forced on anyone else

YANBU if it bothers you.

It didn’t bother me when I was vegetarian. I wouldn’t ban meat products from the house though (unless he doesn’t live with you, then your call)

Meat eater here. Of course YANBU.

I'm pescetarian, and I'm honestly not sure if it would disgust me to cook meat or not. But I wouldn't feel competent to do so - I don't have the experience, and I can't taste-test it. What if I undercook it and it causes a health issue? It sounds like it's other people's comments that are bothering you here - if your partner isn't asking you to cook meat, there's probably no issue.

It sounds like you've got a happy balance

• You don't mind him eating it
• He doesn't pressure you into cooking it

That's a good compromise for your scenario.

Not sure why your friends think it's okay to debate your choices.

I hate baked beans, I think they are the grossest things in the world. I hate the look of them, the smell of them, just cannot stand them.

If I'm cooking and my husband wants baked beans with his meal I cook them for him.

YABU IMO.

Not at all. You're being more than reasonable and your friends are being ridiculous.

Both of you are grown ups making your own decisions about what to cook and eat, and you're evidently perfectly fine with him bringing meat into the home so it's not like there's any argument you're imposing your views on him. He can cook it himself if he wants it. Like a grown up. I do most of the cooking in our house and wouldn't prepare things I find revolting either.

Not liking baked beans isn’t the same as nit wanting to cook meat when you’re veggie.

I don't eat fish, allergic
Dp and dd eat it, he cooks it, preps it, serves it, I don't even eat with them, the smell puts me off everything, Inc my coffee

I'd say it's fair he cooks his own meat OP
I don't cook what I don't eat.

For those saying it's unfair to ban certain foods from the house, I think that would be fair if you started living together as meat eaters and then one person went vegan and changed the rules. But I was vegetarian whe we met and am vegan now and the entire time there's been a "no raw meat" rule. He knew that when he moved in. I don't see why its unfair to establish certain ground rules before moving in, so that you agree to live together on certain terms. Anyone would be entitled to have that as a deal breaker and say "no I only want to move in if I can have raw meat in the fridge", but my partner didn't. I don't see how it's any different to saying to a partner who smoked "it's up to you to keep smoking but you can't do it in the house".

ByGrabthars

For me it was simply because in a household we paid for equally and a food bill we paid for equally I don't think it is fair to impose rules.

I really relate to the pp who wouldn't date a non veggie now. Dh eats meat and the kids and I don't. I find it really repulsive, worse as I've got older, and hate kissing him if he's eaten meat recently.

I can't convert him but I would never date a meat eater again. It's weird how basic the reaction is.

PurpleDaises I would understand if the OP is veggie for ethical reasons, but she only said she hates the texture and smell of meat. So in this case I'd say it's exactly the same.

I'm a meat eater but I don't think yabu for not cooking meat. I would think yabu if you refused meat in the house for him to cook himself. A previous BF of 10 years moaned about how often we ate rice with our mains, one of the many reasons he is an ex. If you want certain things you need to be involved in the planning, buying and cooking

I'm a vegetarian (became one around 6 months ago) but I will cook meat for my fiance. However since I became vegetarian I cook things like chilli, spag bol etc that he likes without meat and he loves them. He only probably eats meat less than half of the time.

We eat meat but massively cut back only at weekends really. Mine prefer my veggie chilli to the meat one now

YANBU. I find handling raw meat gross and I’m not even vegetarian. Must be awful for someone who is!

Tell your friends to mine their own business

So do you not have any restrictions on what your partner can do in your house Marie? Could they smoke in the house, given that they pay equally to rent/mortgage? Could they watch porn given that they pay equally towards the broadband? Could they get steaming drunk every night if they pay for the booze with they're own money? Or insist that 50% of the TV shows that we're watched involved content you found disgusting and upsetting? Everyone has a different line in the sand, but I hope that most people would answer no to most of these questions. In general I think everyone should have a discussion about ground rules before moving in and then only move in if you're happy with the terms. Failing that I think it's reasonable to expect the person who loves you to avoid doing things that you find repulsive or offensive. Saying "but I live here too" isn't a free pass to do whatever you want with no consideration for others. Now, I understand why most people struggle to understand how having meat in the house could be experienced by someone as "repulsive and offensive", but for many vegans and vegetarians it is. I already make a big compromise by tolerating pre cooked meat and fish in the fridge, but I cannot cope with the idea of raw bloody slabs of meat. I cannot describe how upsetting and revolting I would find that, and if my partner did it I would have to conclude that he didn't care about upsetting or revolting me. That's where my boundary is, I was upfront about it from the start, and dp was happy to move in on those terms. If other people have different boundaries and are happy to live on different terms then that's fine for them. But I think most people have at least one thing that they wouldn't let their partner do in the house, no matter how much they contribute financially.

You can't really compare smoking in a house to having meat in a house

My new lover is vegetarian and he doesn't mind cooking meat or having meat in the house but I do compromise and cook a lot of vegetarian meals neither of us are fussed or will try and change the other persons diet x