To not go out for lunch tomorrow in case we miss DD’s first steps.

[MrsWolf2]

She’ll be 16 months on the 11th.

She rolled pretty early, both ways, and was commando crawling like a pro before she was 6 months old. When she started pulling up and cruising at 8 months I thought she’d be walking soon. But no. Almost double her lifetime later and still not walking. Or talking either, but that’s a whole other thread.

Anyway, in the last couple of days she’s seemed way more adventurous than normal, is doing a weird downward dog type thing, trying to climb over impossible obstacles that and never has before, shifting her weight from side to side, other little signs that Mr Google tells me are all common before a baby’s first steps.

I really don’t want to miss her first steps! But DH and I are supposed to be going out for lunch together tomorrow just us, it’s a rare opportunity that we haven’t had for ages and won’t get for another few months at least.

Also it’s my mum and dad who are going to look after her while we go out. If she does take her first steps while we’re gone I will never ever hear the end of it. And not in a fun, teasing way. An irritating, ‘she did it with us because she prefers us’ will you please shut the fuck up and let me forget about it way.

On the other hand, one of the reasons I think she’s close is that she’s been in a right grump for a few days and I wouldn’t hate to get away from that for a few hours.

AIBU to not go?

YABU - don’t be ridiculous, go and have lunch
YANBU - no stay home don’t miss those first steps

I've no recollection of my children's first steps. Don't miss out on something that you might enjoy. Have fun. YABU but rather sweet at the same time.

I can’t remember my son’s first steps - or first just about anything, come to that.

FFS. Threads like this make me want to club myself to death.

OP seriously- get a grip! Your DD will have many milestones some of which you will be first /witness others you won’t. If your mum and dad are so horrible pull them up about it.

This really is a non issue

Oh I can totally understand why you'd cancel lunch, but personally, I don't recall my kids' first steps anymore. I have vague memories of them, I think. But SO many more amazing things happen. Go have lunch with your DH.

Does she know what a chocolate biscuit is? Suggest you stand near her when she is cruising the furniture, but just far enough away that she has to take just a couple of steps to you in order to get to the chocolate biscuit. Then hold it out and offer it to her.
Can't recall my daughter's first steps holding on to us - she spend months at this stage, but unaided she dangerously decided to run off in front of moving vehicles when we had stopped to chat to friends and hadn't noticed that neither of us was holding her hand.

You sound very highly strung. Go and enjoy your lunch! And be sure to have a nice glass of wine!

Just tell your parents she took her first steps and go out for lunch.
In reality children have a number of attempts at first steps and it is down to the parent to decide what is actually a child's first steps.

For the past 20yrs I have been a childminder. I have seen many babies take their first steps and I have never told the parent. That's just mean - especially when it's their pfb.

I think asking them not to tell you is just the wrong approach in many ways. Don't mention it, if they do just laugh and say something causal like 'oh I'm sure she'll get there soon' etc. If you make a big thing of it then they will, and if you ask them to lie to you then I'm not surprised you have an odd relationship with them!

Drop her off and say you're so excited because she took her first steps that morning and that you hope they see her doing it.

Sorry but you all sound nuts. And your parents sound downright nasty tbh.

Like others have said it will be the first time you see it regardless of whether someone else has seen it first and the chances are it wont happen anyway.

I can't even remember DS2s first steps, the bit I remember was when he went off and walked everywhere, it was a shock as we were in a restaurant and he literally just ran off (after only taking the odd one or two steps previously).

I remember DS1s as he was only 9 months but to be honest he took just a couple of steps for a few weeks before walking properly and had been cruising for months so it really wasnt the epic moment you imagine.

Enjoy your lunch!

I wouldnt even mentioned anything to your parents beforehand, if they say anything after just say ah yes she's been taking the odd few steps all week and leave.

I do understand how you feel as I have missed various things the DCs have done over the years but I find that it gets harder as they get older as things you miss are much bigger but I now know it's actually fine and do that myself up.

DS took a long time to start walking. He took a couple of faltering steps then sat down and didn’t try again for a few months, obviously found crawling more effective.

Then we dropped him off at nursery one morning (DH and I car shared so did the drop off on the way to work) put him on the floor whilst we talking to his key worker and DS just stood up and walked across the room to the toys, whilst all the adults just stood there looking at him. We treated that as his first steps even though he had tried once before.

I would just ignore your parents if they say anything.

I was a sahm and missed DD's first steps as I was in the kitchen! DH saw them but she didn't walk again for a couple of weeks.

Age 11 and she now darts off to school which gives me joy every day.

It’s not actually that big a deal and 10 years down the line you will realise that. I am a childminder and had lots of kids take their first steps with me, but I’ve never let on to the parents. That’s weird that your parents would do that.

@MrsWolf2

You aren’t mad - just undecided. But now you are decided so go, have fun, and DD will be walking for you in no time.

Lunch was yummy, and I had a cocktail. To celebrate the fact that she took her first steps this morning before we went out .

Thank you to everyone who shared their stories and/or were nice to me.

I stay home with DS, I am with him 95% of the time but one evening I went out for a couple of hours with DD to go to the circus while DS stayed home with OH. That was when he decided to start walking!

Don't regret going to the circus at all though, we had a great time and I still got to enjoy seeing DS walk about the room when I got home.

Lawd have mercy!

Just go out! If your DC took their 1st steps today you wouldn't even remember it in 6 month's time!

I agree with PP: just lie if you have to.

Yay for first steps and a cocktail good day all round!

Well done OP! Sounds like the planets aligned for you. Glad you had a cocktail too

And for those that do think I am - mad but at least in a nice way right?!

Completely. Glad she did it before you went out and glad you had a nice time.

I'm reasonably sure our eldest took first steps at nursery, about 2 weeks after starting there. But they are jolly lovely people in the business of keeping parents happy and saving important firsts for home. So when he tottered a few steps away from the coffee table on the Saturday afternoon, it was our precious moment.
Your parents sound obnoxious
Enjoy the lunch!

I missed both of my kids’ first steps. Me at work both times. One in front of husband’s friends. Other at nursery. But they both proudly showed me their new skill next day. Which was fine. I see them walk all the time now and don’t worry that I missed those first steps. Go to your lunch. Enjoy it. Tell your parents politely not to be annoying.