First date - guy bringing dog

[Macaroni46]

So I've been chatting to a guy online who seems very nice etc and we have arranged to meet for the first time at the weekend.
We are going for lunch at a pub I a village half way between where we both live.
I am aware he is a dog owner and very fond of his dog. Talks about him a lot, sends pictures of him etc.
Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?
AIBU in feeling it's odd? Or should I just embrace it? After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy!

*and the guy says ok I'll leave him in the car

I wouldn't think it off for a day time date - I'd probably rather like it. An evening date would be another matter. I'm not too worried about dogs and food - in fact I rather like a long walk in the country and a warm and friendly pub that does food and is friendly to dogs. I do t have one but quite a few of my friends do and I'm used to it. But if you don't like dogs or will have a problem with the commitment they require then it's worth re-considering whether this guys for you.

Marry him.

I love animals but I can see where you're coming from. If it's this date, ok, but if it's every date thereafter, that would be too much for me.

And they don't sit still, they go round wanting attention from diners

I've never seen this happen, either. In fact, I don't think I've ever been in a pub/cafe/restaurant where dogs were allowed not to be on a lead. And I live in a very dog-friendly town.

So yes, apparently he can't be separated from his dog even for a couple of hours, either because he's very attached emotionally or perhaps the dog has specific needs. Either way bad news if the OP isn't really up for having doggy at dates.

Or another option is he got the dog as he enjoys doing things with it like walking it and the walks are nice there so saw the opportunity to take his dog, doesn't mean he can't be without it, or the dog has special needs. It may just make the guy happy to take his dog on a nice new walk (as is true of most people with dogs).

It's pointless posters saying that dogs are dirty/disgusting/go round helping themselves to other people's pub lunches - the fact is that this bloke has a dog and is clearly a doggy person, which the OP is not.

You might as well say that a bloke is awful because he is a keen football fan and you hate the game, or that he's a vegan and you live on Big Macs. The fact is that there is a fundamental disconnect about a fairly (hugely!) major part of someone's life.

If the OP and the man hit it off, what is the chance of the man sending the dog off to the local dog's home? I would say zero if he is even the slightest bit of a decent human being. (Much more chance of getting him to go NC with his family: see multiple MN threads...). Therefore if the OP really can't bear dogs or see a future alongside Muttley, then let this one go.

I've never been bothered by a dog at dinner - children running round occasionally but never a dog.
Meeting in the country or seaside, why not bring the dog. If lunch goes well, it is easier to prolong things if the man isn't rushing home to his dog. If it was a theatre trip or the cinema i'd think it was a bit odd.

Virtually all of our dates were dog walks followed by a pint or a meal. Seriously, almost all of them. It’s one of the things that makes us compatible - this is our idea of a good, romantic time. DH saw me in walking boots and wellies far, far more often than he ever did in high heels. DDog even came on our honeymoon - it would have felt wrong to leave him behind 🤷‍♀️

It’s not right or wrong, it’s just individual people having different ideas about life and wotnot.

That sounds like the perfect way to assess his suitability - if the dog is a knob/flinches from his touch or he treats it in a way I disapprove of/talks about his entitlement to let his dog run free in fields and it's the farmer's fault for putting ewes about to lamb in there, etc, he gets binned without a second thought.

@Macaroni46

Could you show up with an elderly relative just to balance things out?

It’s adorable. He loves his dog and he takes it with him when he can. That’s so cute!

Mind you, if it's a Beagle, don't bother with the date. Send him my details...

I'd love that. A good ice breaker imo.

I think it's a great idea on his part. He loves his dog, he doesn't want to start a relationship with someone who won't love his dog.

I had what would have been a ONS a couple of years ago but the bloke came back and was horrible to my cat, so he was out pretty quickly. If I'd known beforehand that he hated cats, I wouldn't have wasted my time.

This would be my dream! I would spend the whole meal playing with the dog instead of talking to the guy, though.

I think, though, that if you're not really a dog person, then being with someone who is very much a dog person is tricky.

Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?

Marry him?

I think that’s very true, Des. Poor old ddog has slowed down a lot now and has taken a bit of a back seat to DS (who is still only little) but in his younger days he was a real commitment, needing not only lots of exercise but plenty of training as well. He was my main hobby! I spent many hours working with him to get him trained up and DH had to be up for that - if he’d resented it or found it tedious, it would t have worked for us. (Ddog is still a very much loved, pampered and happy older dog, in case anyone is worried - he’s not neglected, he’s just a pensioner now who doesn’t require a day’s work to settle down fully).

Id really dislike the assumption that it was fine for him to bring his dog.

I also wouldn't like all the doggie messages.

He sounds too dog orientated to me

The guy would go way up in my estimation for this.

The dog coming is probably a test to see how you’ll fit into his life. If you’re not happy with it then fair enough, but that probably answers that question!

For anyone wondering, there are already various pet lovers dating sites. Elite singles has a Puppy Love section and there's always Muddy Matches, although whether you count shooting at things as love is arguable, to say the least.

@cologne4711 you need a bit more 4711 then
My dog does smell if she's wet, otherwise she smells lovely because I spray her with lovely cologne(nicer than 4711). She is not allowed to disturb other diners.
Some dog owners do spoil things for others.

@Spudlet Yes, we are the same. DDog is still fairly young (she's about to turn 7 so not a pensioner quite yet!) but those early few years were really heavily dog-focused with agility, flyball, all the training, etc. Even now that baby DD is here and DDog doesn't need quite the volume of exercise she used to, we still do a lot of stuff that's specifically 'dog-friendly' such as holidays to pet-friendly cottages and having to be careful how long we are out of the house for, etc. and deal with stuff like muddy footprints and random slugs occasionally getting brought in on her fur. And if one person in the couple isn't a dog person, stuff like that ends up becoming a bone of contention (pun entirely intended )

I'd be thrilled