Partners ( very new partner”

[Jimineycricket]

So my husband walked out on us in October. He blamed my spending for it. Things have been ok ish ( apart from him buying a brand new bmw, taking all our savings and moving with his parents. Anyway the other day I overheard a young 20 something discussing her boyfriend ( giving my partners name and a few other bits which confirm its my husband. She then said “ I haven’t met his kids yet as they’ll go running telling tales to their mum” I am fuming and so so hurt. Would I be unreasonable to unleash hell on my husband?8

You need to read this sentence again and see if you can see the problem
I do blame myself for the spending. Before I met him I had no debt, a good job etc

Can you see it? can you see the problem with that sentence? this is how abused women talk.
you're justifying the way that he treated you in your own head and at some point that will stop and you will see this for what it is which is horrific he fucked off on holiday under those circumstances, he actually fucked off on holiday and he's criticising you for your spending?

You're going to have to trust the rest of us on this, he will treat her in the same shitty way he treated you.

By the time that she starts to realise and by the time that everybody else starts to see it you will have moved on, the pain and the feeling that you've lost will have gone you'll be over it.

It's not a competition but you are going to win long term, so long as you don't do anything silly...... Like taking anything he has ever accused you of seriously.

open your eyes see this as quickly as possible and make sure that a solicitor can see it because otherwise you're going to go in and you're going to sit down and you're going to say "it's all my fault I don't deserve anything from him" you do.
Because you put up with his shit for years, make sure you get paid properly for doing that.

Look up the Freedom Programme. It will help give you the strength to get through this.

And see a lawyer ASAP. I’m worried about your savings.

It is terrible that you are paying off debt which was accrued paying for essentials for the kids. Your ex was and is financially abusing you.

Things will get better x

im a bolshy cow if that had been me sitting there listening to her I would have gone over and said well his wife knows about you now being as that's me just as I was paying for my hair and walking out the shop