To not throw my son a birthday party

[AugustMummyxo]

Feeling like a very mean mummy atm My DS will be turning 5 in August and he's always had a birthday party. Small tea parties at home aged 1 and 2, in a hall with bouncy castle etc for 3rd and 4th.

I've asked him if he would like to do something a bit different this year but he says he would like a party because he's got all his school friends to invite. However, I feel I'm going to struggle to pay for one this year. I have a new job (TA) which pays less than previous one (admin assistant) and we also go on holiday the week before his birthday.

AIBU unreasonable to feel bad and find something else (cheaper) to do for his birthday.
AINBU to want to throw him a party and should cut down in other areas over the next 5 months so we can afford one?

If you suggest doing something different do you have any ideas? We're in the North West

My daughters turning 7 soon. She's had parties every birthday so far but this year I'm just going to take her to build a bear work shop and out for cake

Could you do something with a few of his friends rather than a big party?

Yanbu.
Parties are hugely costly, don’t feel guilty

Not unreasonable at all. Take him out to do something he would enjoy. Maybe with his "best" friend if he has one. Or a play date at home for two or three of his friends. Or a family tea party.

Do something in the park? With cake.

What about a few friends over? What’s he into? If it’s dinosaurs you could do a dig, a hunt for dinosaur eggs etc.

Football just footie games out the back or on the green etc?

5 is a great age for a big party. Church hall and games you do yourself won’t cost that much. If you can economise for 5 months to facilitate it I think you should do so. My DD2 (now 15) still remembers her 5th birthday party in a church hall. I did games. I had 2 friends to help me plus DH. We had 28 children. It was exhausting. But so much fun.

Thank you for all of your positive replies.

I think I just feel bad because he's enjoyed them so much in the past, saying that, he enjoys other children's parties just as much so it's not just because it's 'his'!

I think I will look to invite a couple of his 'best friends' round for tea and cake. Maybe a trip to a local soft play for an hour or so.

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood

thanks I may consider this too.

I've spent stupid amounts of money on bouncy castles, bouncy slides and play equipment last two years so could try to tone it down a little. I will look to save a little each month and see how I'm doing in July.

I know he has a lovely time and but I do come home thinking the money that we have paid for a 3 hour party could have funded several days out

Have you checked the local leisure centres? Ours does hour-long parties (bouncy castle, scooter, nerf gun etc) which are pretty reasonable.

Our DS turned 3 last year. I spent a small fortune on what ended up being two parties- one for family and adult friends on his actual birthday, and one for his little nursery friends. Both had booze.

Never. Ever. Again.

This year I am hoping to go away! It will cost less overall, and be WAY less stressful.

If not we will have his close friends over for a teddy bear picnic. In the local park if it's nice or at home if it isn't.

If it's August, chances are half of his friends will be on holiday anyway.

I speak from experience.

A picnic at the park would be ideal. Bring a cake and some food, let them run wild. You could send them on a scavenger hunt if you can be bothered. Obviously would be somewhat weather dependent but if you know somewhere with a shelter it will still be warmish even if it rains. Probably best just before they break up.

What on earth are you spending on parties, if it could fund several days out ???

You could either have it at home (and keep fingers crossed for good weather), or make enquiries about having 2 hours at a local Church hall / parish hall / scout hut. Then make a shed load of sandwiches, buy some crisps and cakes, and plan some games.
It really needn't cost that much.

Sports day in the park with races and chocolate medals and a picnic. For 10 kids at most!

If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it.

Don’t try and kill your self to do a party. He can have a party next year. Or in the new term. He’ll have many more birthdays to come!

@BackforGood

The cheapest hall in our area costs £45 for 3 hours.

The food and drinks £25 and a bouncy castle/slide deal £100.

I could have just the bouncy castle for £60 but that is still over £100 in total

We usually spend £20-£30 on a big day out or around £10 for a walk near the river with ice cream etc.

It adds up so quickly hence why I'm debating not doing it this year. I think he might appreciate some more special days out through the holidays and a small gathering on his birthday.

@ActualHornist

Thank you this makes me feel better

Yeah we spent similar to you on hall + bouncy castle/slide + food + party bags. It didn't really work out any cheaper than paying for a soft play party, and was more work! (they had fun though)

If it's August can you not do something in the garden and let them all run riot? Stick a water sprinkler on and they'll love it!

He's a summer baby. Easy peasy. Party in a park.

My parents said we could have two parties each - we could decide which birthdays. It doesn't have to be every year. DD has had rather more, but usually small - I think this year (13th) was the first time she had more than 7 guests.

August's tricky for parties anyway, once they're at school and everyone is governed by school holidays. If you're only inviting a couple of friends for a day out, you can consult parents and find a date when neither is away.

Given that August is unlikely to be a runner for a whole-class party, teaming up with another child's parents is worth exploring, even if the other child's birthday is in June or September.

Or you can go the middle route, and have a party at home for about 8 friends, if you have the energy to organise party games.

At this age we just did village hall with party games. That would just be the £45 + catering. Could you manage that if it’s what he really wants? It’s a good age. You can also blow up balloons and let them chase those round the hall, that seems to provide a lot of entertainment for that age.

We've done party in the park with food and some games for under £50.

My two always opt for a party. When DS was 5 we were saving for a house and hadn't much money. We had a retro party in the house with all the old party games and for his cake we shoved two blocks of ice cream together and covered it in sprinkles and Smarties. The kids all had a great time!