To not throw my son a birthday party

[AugustMummyxo]

Feeling like a very mean mummy atm My DS will be turning 5 in August and he's always had a birthday party. Small tea parties at home aged 1 and 2, in a hall with bouncy castle etc for 3rd and 4th.

I've asked him if he would like to do something a bit different this year but he says he would like a party because he's got all his school friends to invite. However, I feel I'm going to struggle to pay for one this year. I have a new job (TA) which pays less than previous one (admin assistant) and we also go on holiday the week before his birthday.

AIBU unreasonable to feel bad and find something else (cheaper) to do for his birthday.
AINBU to want to throw him a party and should cut down in other areas over the next 5 months so we can afford one?

If you suggest doing something different do you have any ideas? We're in the North West

Definitely in the park. Get the little picnic boxes for lunch.

Playground
Sports day with prizes
Picnic
Pass the parcel

Could you make some cool blanket forts or something, maybe decorate them with fairy lights and soft pillows and have a blanket fort party? I had that for my seventh birthday party and I had loads of fun :) Super cheap party !

6 friends, soft play, £5 each. 2 jugs of juice, 2 pizzas, 2 chips £30.
Put on the invite that it’s not an official party and check they all eat the food (if not, lunch box type things £4 each so £34)
Plus cake. Under £70.

Couple of friends round, pass the parcel with pound shop gifts, Birthday cake from Aldi for under a fiver. At aged 5, that’s a party (and cheap!)

How are you feeding people at a party for a total of £25??? That's crazy cheap. But back to the point, I think I'd do a party if I could, simply as you've set a precedent to him that that's what you do and as he's now old enough to actually ask for and want one it would be a shame to not provide one. That said, if you can't afford it you simply can't afford it. Unfortunately money doesn't grow on trees eh? To save costs I'd do a garden party at home. Few classmates, cheapo cake, few balloons and some food and you're done :)

Can you do a joint party with anyone? For posters not understanding the cost DD1 5th birthday party cost about £400 in the village hall.

@Hahaha88

Okay it's more like 40 with drinks, cakes and crisps added on. But I don't do anything fancy just a shed load of pizzas from Iceland for £1 each, sausage rolls, contain sausages and chicken strips/nuggets.

He invited his whole nursery class last year (24) and 13 came so can only imagine more this year due to him being in a two form entry school and claiming to be best friends with every man and his dog that's not including family and friends outside of school.

I really appreciate all of your suggestions and ideas.

If it's something he really wants I may ask family members to contribute to his party this year rather than a big present which he usually has no use for.

£25 isn't "crazy cheap". It's a kids party not a wedding breakfast.

4 loaves of bread, 1 pack of ham, 1 block of cheese, packet of crisps each, yoghurt tubes, chocolate biscuit each, birthday cake, and little paper bags with stickers from amazon to make up little lunch bags works out at £25 to feed around 30 kids if you shop at Aldi 🤷🏽‍♀️

You don't need a bouncy castle etc for a party. Plus don't invite anyone from the class he isn't actually in, and a fair number will be on holiday anyway if it's August.

Hire the hall. Scrap the bouncy castle and just do party games.

For food either plate them up or make little lunch bag/boxes. Sandwich, crisps, biscuit/packet of haribo. Wrapped book from the book people and a slice of cake and they double up as party bags.

For drinks so jugs of diluting juice.

I do hall parties every year and they've never come close to £400 expect on the years I've hired bouncy castles or an entertainer.

One of the best birthday things my DD went to was jusin a really good playground.
The birthday boy wasn't only told he was going to this park,so friends arriving for him was great.
Sandwiches,crisps and juice at half time on a beach then more play .
Everyone enjoyed it(and us mums had been warned it was outdoors so we were all warm enough).It was the least fuss,easy,genius,enjoyed by all kids party I went too during my DDS primary school years

Back in the day, we used to do parties at home, rather than hiring halls, bouncy castles etc. You need to limit the numbers, have helpers, and have it thoroughly timetabled with organised games and a home-made tea. Pass the parcel, musical statues, Simon says, Kim’s game, grandmother’s footsteps.

I’m another one for a church hall/community centre party. They’re usually really cheap to hire out and you can blow up some balloons and play a few games like tag, what’s the time Mr Wolf, duck duck goose, statues, etc. then some carrot sticks, sausages, jam sandwiches, a cake, then off home with a bag of Poundland Haribos instead of party bag. Less than £100 all in.

We have an August birthday girl and do parties in the garden for 5-10 each year. It definitely costs under £100.

I use stuff we have around the house for games. Last year they had a duplo scavenger hunt and had to find all the pieces in their colour then build something for a prize. They decorated cupcakes and then ate them. I put transfers on them all and we had a dance competition.

They won little prizes for each activity. Those went into a paper bag they’d each decorated with stickers and pens at the outset and those were their party bags. A couple of pizzas from the oven, home made cake with candles and then home. They all seemed pretty happy. Could easily have done all this at the park if we didn’t have a garden.

Would the idea of him inviting 5 (because he will be turning 5) friends for an at home party be acceptable? No bouncy house just some party games, a light lunch and birthday cake & ice-cream?

Simple games. www.sitters.co.uk/blog/best-party-games-for-kids.aspx

My kids are 9 and 6 and have never had a party. I think they are a waste of money and hugely stressful. We always let them pick their treat of what they want to do or to have a few friends over.
I don't care what others do but it does bug me when people throw huge parties for their child every single year. I think it puts pressure on other parents to do the same

I'd hire a church hall and not bother with the bouncy castle. We've been to some great parties without bouncy castles! At 5 they love games like pass the parcel, musical statues, pin the tail on the donkey, treasure hunt. One of the best parties my DS went to last year was a 6th birthday party. They'd just hired a hall and brought loads of toys along so big box of lego, a couple of boxes of train stuff, big box of cars with a garage, couple of balls. The kids were so entertained for 2 hours. Don't overthink it. Bouncy castles are not obligatory!

Why does it have to be all or nothing?

We've always had small at home parties. He's going to be 5yrs? So let him invite 4 friends, and have a pass the parcel, musical bumps etc.
Cake, balloons, a few sandwiches and cocktail sausage.
Kids love that sort of thing at that age.

We have also had board games parties (everyone bring a game) BBQ parties etc. Never had more than 10 children, using the age rule. When they're teens, they have 2 or 3 guests for a bowling & meal trip or whatever.

Pizza party / movies at home can be done for under £20.

I know you said you might just have some friends over but just in case when we cant afford it every so often we declare 'family party' and go on a hike with a cool picnic, go to beach or have an ott games day at home. The kids have only differentiated once when one of my little men declared he hadn't had a party but that was because in his head soft play for the class was happening (We thought we'd talked him out of it!)

Ps love Pollypocket's idea!!

One year my ds wanted to go camping. December birthday!

So we turned the sitting room into a tent and played camping games. Roasted marshmallows. Had a movie night in the tent with popcorn etc.

He invited 5 friends with sleeping bags and they just had a ball!

Two weren’t allowed stay over so stayed till 9pm (could do earlier cause he’s young). They were asleep by 11.

Next morning, a job lot of pancakes and send home by 11 am.

One of his best birthdays and the price of a couple of frozen pizzas and a bag of marshmallows!

DD either gets a bigger present or a day out/party. not both.
When they are little and they can do soft play it's fairly stress free, as they get older it's expensive. is year we took her and 2 friends to a climbing place and to lunch. still approx £100.

I had 2 parties my entire childhood, I don't look back and feel I missed out. I barely remember my 5th birthday party- and what I do remember is probably only because there are photos.

Ywnbu if you can't afford it this year. He will get over it. My DS is 5 soon, this will be his first hall party. DD skipped 2 birthdays without a big party, it was no big deal.
Can you bring 4 good friends to the cinema or use one of the good ideas on here.