Please someone who can think rationally help

[Aliceinwonder87]

I have recently left the funeral of a close family member to come home to have a slightly drunken conversation with my dh about finances. His colleagues have told him that they cannot understand how I as a sahp can be in control of Bill's etc when I do nothing and he is out working . He says he explained that I have a degree and aside could carry and breastfeed our daughter that I might have a better temperament for raising her he was made out to be wrong because he trusts me to pay our Bill's ets! Where have I gone wrong?

The answer to your question is a very large glass of water, and a duvet.

I don’t know why your husband would tell you that they said this. Unless he agrees and is testing the water to see how open you are to changing the arrangement.

My wife does all our finances.
Until recently, I didn't even know how much I earned.
Mortgage is fully paid and we are sitting pretty, so can't complain. We would be in the poor house if I ran things.

why on earth do they even care!!! Whats it to them - they are stuck in the timewarp of their mysogynistic minds - women always used to deal with all household matters including bills even in the 1800s, they would have kept accounting books for household spending even if DH paid the final amount ie out o his account/cashbox

My mum was a SAHP and did all the bill paying. As she had more time and is very financially minded. In our house, my husband bought a house first and I moved in and paid him rent before we bought together so he was in the habit of bill paying and he is much more financially minded than me, so he deals with it all. No one elses business and surely every household does it differently. Why do either of you care what his colleagues think

In reality I think you both need to get a grip on your finances and know what's coming in and going out. It's not healthy for one person to mange it and the other to have no idea what's going on.

It's 2020 no one does the bill paying, it's all automated.