AIBU to get annoyed about the amount of posters who say “you’re not even living together”

[toobusytothink]

Read 3 or 4 posts over the past 24 hours where people have commented on the fact that the OP isn’t even living with their partner and implying therefore they can’t be that serious... If we move a man in we are selfish, moving too soon and not thinking about the kids ... but if we don’t it seems we aren’t committed. Do people not understand that it is possible to be completely committed but not live together because of kids or other factors? Because we are “just” a girlfriend and can’t possibly be someone’s partner unless we have a ring on our finger or have moved in 🙄

Yes, emotional commitment / partnership.
But not legal, financial, cohabitation or parenting commitment or partnership

I did not live with my partner but we were together for more than 2 decades. We had children, we shared finances, we had legal agreements which showed a very real committment. And I am not the only one. And many married couples do not have children, and do not wholly share finances.

Bold fail!

The one-upmanship on this thread is hilarious.

I couldn’t care less about how someone classifies their relationship.

mnthrowaway202020 I agree. Find it utterly bizarre that people are so invested in other people's self-definition.

And, I've said it before, but it seems to be a way of imposing a 1950s-style moral code onto modern relationships with all their messiness.

The reality is that nowadays the moral imperative for living together has gone. Unless you have kids with someone - and even sometimes if you do - there is no societal reason why you should.

It really comes down to a) your desire to live with someone and b) your finances. These are both perfectly legitimate reasons for cohabiting, but they are in no way a mark of commitment.

And the idea that an outsider would benchmark the emotional commitment of a couple based on whether they are sharing a property or not is just bizarre.

Why does it matter? I’ll never live with a man, never have joint finances and never get married after my husband died. I can still be with someone and be committed to them without them moving into my house.