To refuse to take the Watchtower and send Jehova's Witnesses away with parish magazine?

[Elasticwoman]

They said: hey, you've got to take a Watchtower, it was a deal!

But I welshed on it.

Was I unreasonable, and what do other people do when the God Squad come to their door trying to sell God to them?

Ah, see, I don't have a problem with it on the street as long as they don't try and accost you like market researchers do. If it's just someone preaching, it's no more instrusive than busking.

I see your point. I just get a bit miffed at the comments they make and the stuff written on their boards.

Well, I like them. It's kind of them to want to include me in their earthly paradise, even if I'm unlikely to make it into the top 144,000 with a place in heaven.

With HorseyWoman 100% on the street shouters though. Was extremely pleased to read a while ago that Oxford Street's "sinner winner" guy had received an ASBO.

They also have in tow a teenager or two, looking awkward in a polyester shirt buttoned up to the neck. I am sure the teenagers would rather be at home in their bedrooms masturbating or wasting time on Facebook.

Granted, HW, the repent message isn't quite as cheerful as a busker playing 'The sun has got his hat on'.

Fleacircus, indeed, people who come round sharing these messages wouldn't have a bad motive for it.

Really? Wow!!

Not even 1% of the world's population get into Heaven!? I wonder what they base their figures on... why 144000 and not 144032.. Weird. Maybe Heaven is run like a hotel and they only have 144000 beds. But over the passage of time you'd think Heaven would probably be full by now, unless you go somewhere else after a length of time there.

PMSL SueBaroo!

But I thought part of being a JW was that you had to give up a certain amount of your time to the cause... so that means going round and recruiting to the cause. I might be getting confused. So they do it because they have to, and maybe think it will get them into that 144000 number (unlikely)!

HW, it's an interpretation from the book of Revelation, which describes 144,000 people drawn from the 12 tribes of Israel.

You would be very unlikely to be part of it, since from 1935, they believe the number was pretty much filled up. They believe that anyone who believes their teachings now will spend eternity on a paradise earth, hugging pandas and eating wheelbarrows full of butternut squash. In technicolour.

Not brilliant odds really.

HW, well, yes, there is a certain element of 'duty' to the door to door stuff for JWs. But not so they can get into heaven, just so they will get to the paradise earth.

Ah yes, it's all coming back to me now. See, we don't get many JW to our door. We just get people from staybright or people trying to sell us a retirement home which we can pay for monthly and own by the time we retire (in 30-40 years!)... that kind of rubbish.

PMSL at the panda-hugging!

My mum is the most patient and polite (or mad, depending on point of view) woman I know with r egard to these things. She has leaflets/DVDs/books etc from all kinds of religious denominations, JWs, Mormons etc. She has even got a Black Power leaflet somewhere, have no idea how she got hold of that.

She also buys oven gloves and tea towels at madly inflated prices from door-to-door salesmen with thier tragic tales. She believes everyone.

I'm an anti-social old cow and wouldn't answer the door. But I have lived in Cheltenham for a year now and haven't had one religious caller - must be luck!

I think you get 'chosen' to be one of the 144,000 - direct communication from God, which your minister can then verify. Seems likely that the places have gone now though. But (in my understanding, cobbled together from 'White Teeth', doorknockers and a pair of JW twins I taught last year) everybody else who's been saved gets to carry on on earth, which by then will have been turned into a kind of paradise - they were keen to emphasise on their last visit that I wouldn't have to pay my gas bill. And I think the unsaved get tortured for a couple of days and then that's it, game over. Definitely no hell, which is where JWs believe their branch of Christianity is more compassionate than others.

To those who dont want people to call - why dont you put a notice on your door specifying that? Am sure JWs dont want to waste their time on you as much as you dont want to waste your time on them!

Also a couple of 'judgement days' have been and gone by now, so I think heaven is definitely full and it's earthly paradise or nowt for the rest of us. Am resigned to my fate though.

With only 144,000 to be saved it would help if they published a weekly chart so that, if you signed up, you could see how you were doing. Straight in at no. 101 or working your way up from 134,987? Maybe midweek charts as well so that you could see how well your soul was doing on digital downloads only.

Good idea UQD. Texted direct to your mobile.

Unquietdad - I think your idea has merit.

Not all JW's say that they are Christian.

What they won't tell you:-

They believe that all true Christian churches are of the devil.

They believe Jesus is not God, but is the Archangel Michael - the first being created by God.

They deny that God is a Trinity.

They believe Jesus died on a stake, rather than a cross.

They deny that Jesus rose bodily from the dead.

They believe that ony 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses will go to heaven. The rest will live forever in a paradise on Earth, never meeting the person who died for them - Jesus Christ.

They believe that salvation is impossible outside of the Watchtower.

They are not allowed to question the Watchtower leadership or teaching.

They claim you need to read the Watchtower's magazines and other material in order to understand the Bible correctly. If you don't read the Watchtower's books, you will "fall into darkness" - what they call reverting to normal Christianity.

They have falsely predicted the end of the world five times.

They have just changed a major Watchtower prediction that the end of the world would come before the generation of Witnesses born before 1914 died.

Well if I won't have to pay my gas bill, where do I bloody sign? There was me thinking that when I die I'll have to uphold my direct debit to British Gas.

Howdydoody, if they don't want to waste their time then why do they carry on despite being told you are not interested!?

Even in paradise, surely someone has to shovel the shit and empty the bins.

Those illustrations sure are cheesy.

I love the way the people in them live in a natural paradise but all seem to wear M&S jumpers and have 1980s perms.