Would I be a CF to go to this wedding?

[Yambabe]

Background: I am a hobby photographer specialising in shooting live music gigs. I "work" for a couple of online magazines/websites. DH has some friends who are in a band. I know them too, but not as well as him. They've been together about a year, and play rock covers in local pubs etc. DH has been to see them a few times. I have seen them once - I was on my way back from a "proper" gig and picked DH up from the pub they were playing in. They were on late, I had the camera with me, so I took some photos for them which they absolutely love. Several of them are now using my pictures as social media profile pics etc. All good.

Fast forward to this week, they have a gig tonight. They've asked DH if he wants to go, and specifically asked for me to come too and bring my camera. I'd provisionally agreed, til I found out that this "gig" is actually them playing at someone's wedding. It's a professional paid job for them, they are not friends of the B&G. Neither me nor DH know the B&G.

I now feel really uncomfortable about this. The band are saying it's OK, they can take who they like along, but effectively gatecrashing a stranger's wedding just doesn't sit right with me. If it was just a birthday party or something then yeah but a wedding? I can't imagine that the B&G will want some stranger with a camera that they don't know wandering about the place. Also when "working" I like to dress comfortably as I often have to be on the floor, or twisting into odd positions to get the shots I want. So stretchy jeans, trainers, tshirt. If it's a formal wedding I am going to stick out like a sore thumb aren't I!

DH says it would be rude to the band to pull out now, I think it would be ruder to the B&G to turn up and I would feel like a proper CF.

Should I go?

Just don't. I mean once the band takes along their own photographer to get some shots, why not the catering, or the venue itself? The make-up person, the hairdresser, the cake-maker? I mean, they all need these type of shots for their websites. Just no.

Rude to the band to pull out??

Rude OF the band to invite randomers to someone’s wedding just so they can use you for free publicity shots!

Absolutely DO NOT go. Your DH should not go either. Who do they think they are inviting random people to a couple's wedding that they are being paid for as entertainment?! Unbelievably rude on their part, i'd be furious if that were my wedding and I think they'll find future job offers in short supply.

You sound like a nice person. I think you have read this situation correctly.

I agree. I also can’t see why your DH thinks it appropriate for him to be there either.

No. It's very cheeky.

If I was the B or G it would feel intrusive to have a photographer there I hadn't booked and approved off. And, they may well already have a photographer staying till the evening do. It could end up looking like HELLO had arranged the evening do.

You are totally correct. This is cheeky so dont go.
The band are being CF

You sound sensible and like you have a good handle of the situation. You shouldn’t go to this wedding unless the band can confirm they have permission from b&g for you to be there and photograph them for their own promotional material (in which case you’d assume they offered a discounted rate to b&g). It doesn’t sound like that’s the case so the band are being complete CF to ask you and your DH along and it’s really inappropriate. Don’t go you’ll feel so awkward.

You're band entourage, it's fine.

Not fine unless the band is Genesis or Fleetwood Mac, or today’s equivalent. 😂. I wouldn’t expect an amateur local band to have an entourage and certainly not freeloading at my wedding thanks very much.

On the basisbthat a band often has an entourage of helpers to carry their guitars etc then I dont see the problem in them having a couple of extra people along. However taking photos doesnt seem right - as someone else has said maybe of the band setting up, but just of the band. During their actual performance and with the wedding guests in then no

They are being CFs by asking you to go. They just want to use you for free photography. It's someone's wedding, a private event and they shouldn't be inviting people. Don't go.

Depends on the type of wedding?
Our friends had a decent band at their wedding, the band brought a few friends/support it was all cool as they had a gig type vibe.

I wouldn’t go!

Do you charge for your work? I do hope you do cos ‘keen hobbyists’ are putting my professional photographer DH out of work because they work for free

So they want you to do a free publicity shoot for them at someone else's wedding? Nope and nope. They have no right to invite you along to a private event without the permission of the organisers and if your photos are good enough to be used professionally, they are good enough to be paid for. Hobbyists like you are putting professionals out of work. I do love the way you put 'work' in quotation marks, btw.

It's very unprofessional of them to have asked you.
And maybe you should start a fee for your services? They've had a freebie already. They're presumably charging a fee for playing at this wedding. They use your photos as promotional material to bring in more paid work. Why should you be the only one working for nothing

No, don´t go. Can you imagine being there with everyone in their wedding finery and watching the bride and groom do the first dance and there are you in your casual clothes in the middle of it taking photos of the band?? It would be embarrassing in the extreme. I don't think your DH should be there either tbh.

I think you could go with the band and either you or they have a quick word to check it’s ok to take some photos. I would offer to take some of the bride and groom/guests dancing and send them the digital photos as a sweetener.

I’m guessing the photos you will take will be totally different to a formal wedding photographer who will probably be long gone by the evening do anyway and the bride and groom may love some cool shots of the evening do.

what @krustykittens says. It's really unfair to be undermining professionals by working for nothing. It devalues everybody's work, yours included. I don't know what you do for a living - but you wouldn't appreciate it if someone came along and said, no need to hire her, I'll do it for nothing! Also, you have invested in expensive equipment to pursue your photography - don't just give it away!

Definitely no. Don't go. They shouldn't have invited your DH either, it is a private function.

That is very cheeky of them, I think your instincts are right!

If I were the bride I'd absolutely throw you out for gatecrashing, and I'm normally a really chilled out person! This is beyond CFery. Don't do it. Make an excuse if you have to but absolutely do not go!

I'd also be concerned that this band are taking advantage of you and undermining your work. I'd give them a wide berth beyond tonight if I were you!

The band are saying it's OK, they can take who they like along the band are wrong. It's not a gig, it's a private booking. V unprofessional of them.

Depends: Did they give them a special rate in exchange for allowing for you to take some pictures? Then I would assume it is all good.

If not, it is a hard no.

Tbh, I don't know why a birthday party or any privately paid for event would be any better?

What's your husband going to do?

Dance at the front like a groupie/mingle with guests or not go?

If it was my wedding and there was one random woman dressed in jeans and a t shirt taking pictures I’d ask them to leave my wedding. The band can’t invite random people to wedding their playing at. You’d be a very cf to go and so would your dh.