To tell friend to stop being mean?

[StopFancyingPeople]

We have a mutual friend who we don’t see much in real life but we both have her on Facebook. This woman posts constant selfies of herself, gym selfies, pyjama selfies, night out selfies, on the plane selfies, at the airport selfies, flat stomach selfies, no make up selfies, new hair selfies etc etc ... she also talks about herself in the 3rd person and blogs her life as though she’s a celebrity ... eg ...

“2 hours gym straight after a night shift, oh well this bikini body won’t create its self! A day in Jodie’s world! #tired #ieattoomuch #jodiesworld “

Now I’ll be the first to admit I’ve rolled my eyes at some of her posts and commented to husband and to my other friend that her posts are a bit much. But I’d never say anything to her about it as it’s not like she’s hurting anyone by doing it.

Anyway recently my friend has started taking screenshots of her posts and sending them to people for a laugh. I’ve always ignored them but then she sends me screenshots of other people laughing about them.

A recent photo was her “asleep” her hair strategically spread around the pillow, make up spot on and a slight “sleeping” pout. She accompanying comment was “finally fallen asleep after 3 night shifts in a row, a day in the life of Jodie”. My other friend was in hysterics as the photo was a selfie so she was clearly awake and pretending to be asleep. She put a laughing face on the post and commented “that’s some skill there, taking a selfie while you’re asleep!”

After the Caroline flack thing I think she should just leave her alone. There must be a reason she acts like this and it’s not hurting anyone so why not just leave her to it or delete her as a friend?? My friend says she brings it on herself but how?? She’s not hurting anyone!! I’m half tempted to delete them both as friends but that would spell the end of my friendship

Yes she’s being mean but did you really have to bring Caroline Flack into this? It’s not really anything to do with her is it?!

Yeah 'Jodie' is odd but other friend is being a bully. Tell her. ("Yeah ok but she's not hurting anyone, I think she'd be very upset if she found out you were making fun of her behind her back. Please stop.")

Why do you want to be friends with either of them? Selfie taker does sound incredibly annoying and self absorbed and your mean friend sounds like my kind of person like a bit of a bitch.

I’m half tempted to delete them both as friends but that would spell the end of my friendship

One is not doing anything mean, the other is so you're tempted to delete both as friends? Wow.

I’m half tempted to delete them both as friends but that would spell the end of my friendship

And this is a problem why precisely? They both sound ridiculous. Sounds like a perfect solution!

Unfollow both

But no one is saying it to her face? And she’s not famous. Not really comparable to CF. She sounds really annoying. Sleeping selfie 😂. I’d probably take the P too.

Depends entirely what kind of relationship your friends have. I have friends who I love dearly but if they posted a sleeping selfie I'd be laughing at the too - and they'd do the same to me - and it would be fine. I have other friends who would be really upset if I laughed so I wouldn't do it.
I think what happened with Caroline Flack was more than someone having a giggle at a mates undeniably silly status update, I'm not sure trivialising it helps anybody

Oh FGS were you not able to call her out on mean behaviour before jumping on the Caroline Flack bandwagon gave you an excuse for moral outrage?

You accepted it before.

Posting this on MN is massively identifiable to Jodie, if she happens to see it - and as it’s a very popular site and Jodie is likely to be a similar demographic to you, a MN user, it’s not completely unlikely that she will.

What’s worse for Jodie? A friend mildly taking the piss, or you ridiculing Jodie’s posting style publicly?

I would get this thread pulled, because if you don’t have the smarts to know or the guts to action that you should just tell your mutual friend to leave it out, without Flack and without MN opinion, then that’s a bit sad, really.

They both sound as bad as each other, to be honest. If you’re going to put your life on display on the internet, then you need to know that people will see and react to that - and may not see you/your life in the positive way you’re wanting. Equally, your other friend is basically doing what was termed “calling her behind her back” when I was at primary school and isn’t being very grown up either. If she thinks Jodie is a twit, she should just unfollow her on Facebook, or silently roll her eyes.

The selfie posting friends sounds like an attention seeking twat to be honest.

Without knowing the parties, I think the challenge to the sleeping selfie is fine. The bitching is unpleasant and I think you ought to challenge it.

Jodie sounds like a self-absorbed idiot to be fair and the comment made about the sleeping selfie was almost fair game really. What a nob.

However, taking screenshots to share for the purpose of humiliating her with others is a shitfest. Very mean.

In conclusion, they are both affirmation-seeking twats.

I think you need to ditch social media completely.

#jodieisaskingforapisstake

Yeah 'Jodie' is odd but other friend is being a bully

Other friend is talking about J behind her back but is that bullying? Its a very overused word and I think it's becoming devalued, the comment about the selfie sounds like something most people would post as lighthearted teasing to me.

I love that it takes a famous persons suicide for people to consider how their actions affect others. You didn't say anything before tragic Caroline then OP?

Jodie sounds pretty annoying, your other mate is a huge bitch though.

How old are you all, as frankly you all sound a tad immature and ridiculous.

I think it’s bullying, yes. It’s not just talking behind her back, it’s actively taking screenshots and sending them to other people to collectively criticise and humiliate her. I’d say that was bullying her.

Jodie doesn't sound like she's lacking in confidence
Mutual friend is teasing her gently as that was a ridiculous post.
You don't need to do anything
I wouldn't get involved if I were you

Jodie has the option of deleting mutual friends comment from her fb page

Since Jodie sent you a screen shot of it, she's asking for your view. I'd be honest if Jodie was a good friend 'well sweetie, she's gently teasing you, it does look like that though so I understand why she commented that way. You know we love you.'

Oh, just the read it's the friend sending screenshots. That's mean. I'd ask mutual friend to stop doing that as it's unkind.

I cant stand self absorbed people like the selfie woman and I would unfriend them on facebook. However, thats no excuse to be mean - just eye roll at her photos then block or hide and move on. Actively ridiculing her and encouraging a pile on to ridicule her is despicable behaviour. Its pathetic that grown adults are participating in this.

I would delete both of them. I couldn't be seeing my feed full of jodie selfies or people taking the piss out of jodie selfies. Block them both and move on. You dont need that kind of juvenile drama in your life.

Drop them both...pronto...and tell the bully shes an knob. In fact i'd keep selfie woman as a distant friend as she is harmless..

Just let them get on with it and dont join in. I cba with the activities of either of them. Just dont engage. Not worth losing friends over.
If you felt that your other selfie friend was vulnerable and the texts were particularly harmful maybe wade in and say so but otherwise I'd leave them to it.

I'd be the same. Photo taker is ridiculous. If you put yourself out that and create fake photos (pretending to sleep) then you open yourself up to criticism.

Caroline Flack killed herself because she had to legally face up to the abuse she handed out to her partner. Domestic abuse is not the same as selfie taking attention seekers.