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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell friend to stop being mean?

61 replies

StopFancyingPeople · 29/02/2020 08:28

We have a mutual friend who we don’t see much in real life but we both have her on Facebook. This woman posts constant selfies of herself, gym selfies, pyjama selfies, night out selfies, on the plane selfies, at the airport selfies, flat stomach selfies, no make up selfies, new hair selfies etc etc ... she also talks about herself in the 3rd person and blogs her life as though she’s a celebrity ... eg ...

“2 hours gym straight after a night shift, oh well this bikini body won’t create its self! A day in Jodie’s world! #tired #ieattoomuch #jodiesworld “

Now I’ll be the first to admit I’ve rolled my eyes at some of her posts and commented to husband and to my other friend that her posts are a bit much. But I’d never say anything to her about it as it’s not like she’s hurting anyone by doing it.

Anyway recently my friend has started taking screenshots of her posts and sending them to people for a laugh. I’ve always ignored them but then she sends me screenshots of other people laughing about them.

A recent photo was her “asleep” her hair strategically spread around the pillow, make up spot on and a slight “sleeping” pout. She accompanying comment was “finally fallen asleep after 3 night shifts in a row, a day in the life of Jodie”. My other friend was in hysterics as the photo was a selfie so she was clearly awake and pretending to be asleep. She put a laughing face on the post and commented “that’s some skill there, taking a selfie while you’re asleep!”

After the Caroline flack thing I think she should just leave her alone. There must be a reason she acts like this and it’s not hurting anyone so why not just leave her to it or delete her as a friend?? My friend says she brings it on herself but how?? She’s not hurting anyone!! I’m half tempted to delete them both as friends but that would spell the end of my friendship

OP posts:
Greydove28 · 29/02/2020 10:59

I just laughed out loud at the sleeping selfie! Jodie sounds incredibly self absorbed. Sounds like a woman i know whos always posting selfies and saying a day in the world of.. Or welcome to my world. She is so self absorbed it is not a good look. Your friend screenshotting it is mild teasing and no big deal in my book. Id get rid of the attention seeker if I were you

YouokHun · 29/02/2020 12:36

I’m half tempted to delete them both as friends but that would spell the end of my friendship

Why not take both friendships off line and stick with that? actually it’s worth going further and taking a break from SM, especially FB. When I think about my friends I realise that the ones who are not on SM at all and certainly not on FB are actually easier to like. This is not because they are better people but because they are giving far less away. There isn’t anywhere to go to get a neat summary of the life they choose to present on line so I automatically have a more rounded picture of them. Whereas I notice some friends I really like in real life often represent themselves badly online and they are far nicer people than one would gather just going by what they put on FB. The wise ones without an identifiable SM presence; I know their opinions, weaknesses, talents as a whole so when they tell me about their new car (for example) it’s not irritating at all, whereas a shot of them on the forecourt holding up the keys would be perceived by me as bragging even if it wasn’t. I’ve resolved to take a break from FB as presumably I also do a poor job of representing myself however carefully I try and tread. I’m hoping for the following benefits:

Avoiding having to stomach lazy virtue signalling of the “be kind” variety
No more airbrushed images from vacuous “influencers” or wannabe influencers
Cutting out MLM/boss babe bollocks
No ‘check-ins’ or stealth bragging
Inability to see cryptic attention seeking posts
No more poorly thought out political bollocks

I will miss the funny dog memes though.

BlueSpotty · 29/02/2020 13:03

Jodie sounds fucking irritating!

UnaCorda · 29/02/2020 13:36

"Jodie" may not be hurting anyone, but ridiculous self-absorbed narcissism isn't exactly a laudable character trait. A day in Jodie's world, FFS. Hmm

Catmarni · 29/02/2020 14:16

Ignore them both

MabelTheCow · 29/02/2020 17:10

Imagine your DC said to you ...
“Mum, my friend A is being mean to B and getting other people to laugh at B too. Should I still be friends with B. She can be a bit irritating at times!”
Yes B is irritating but that is no excuse for A acting like a big *** and involving others. Just imagine what she’d say about you. Call her out. Regardless of Caroline Flack, be kind because it’s the right thing to do.
And don’t unfriend B, talk to her, explain your point of view but she may have reasons behind it that you haven’t considered.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 29/02/2020 17:43

Just keep out of it op. If you must do anything at all call out the mean one and ask her to stop including you in the pisstaking chat.

MrOnionsBumperRoller · 29/02/2020 18:08

Jodie is an attention seeking bellend and is asking to have the piss ripped.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 29/02/2020 19:24

I'd rather be friends with your piss taking friend than Jodie

Piss taking is a great British art form - it's not mean. Jodie sounds like a dick and thoroughly deserves what she gets

You on the other hand OP sound like a complete snowflake

Friendsofmine · 29/02/2020 20:16

I once ended a friendship with someone who was bitchy about another mutual friend. They are still friends as it happens! I feel better having cut that mean and bitchy woman out of my life.

Rationalise your friends and keep the nice ones!

Snog · 29/02/2020 22:59

Just unfollow both of them

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