Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell friend to stop being mean?

61 replies

StopFancyingPeople · 29/02/2020 08:28

We have a mutual friend who we don’t see much in real life but we both have her on Facebook. This woman posts constant selfies of herself, gym selfies, pyjama selfies, night out selfies, on the plane selfies, at the airport selfies, flat stomach selfies, no make up selfies, new hair selfies etc etc ... she also talks about herself in the 3rd person and blogs her life as though she’s a celebrity ... eg ...

“2 hours gym straight after a night shift, oh well this bikini body won’t create its self! A day in Jodie’s world! #tired #ieattoomuch #jodiesworld “

Now I’ll be the first to admit I’ve rolled my eyes at some of her posts and commented to husband and to my other friend that her posts are a bit much. But I’d never say anything to her about it as it’s not like she’s hurting anyone by doing it.

Anyway recently my friend has started taking screenshots of her posts and sending them to people for a laugh. I’ve always ignored them but then she sends me screenshots of other people laughing about them.

A recent photo was her “asleep” her hair strategically spread around the pillow, make up spot on and a slight “sleeping” pout. She accompanying comment was “finally fallen asleep after 3 night shifts in a row, a day in the life of Jodie”. My other friend was in hysterics as the photo was a selfie so she was clearly awake and pretending to be asleep. She put a laughing face on the post and commented “that’s some skill there, taking a selfie while you’re asleep!”

After the Caroline flack thing I think she should just leave her alone. There must be a reason she acts like this and it’s not hurting anyone so why not just leave her to it or delete her as a friend?? My friend says she brings it on herself but how?? She’s not hurting anyone!! I’m half tempted to delete them both as friends but that would spell the end of my friendship

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 29/02/2020 09:18

Jodie sounds odd but yes the other friend is taking it a bit far and it’d make me uncomfortable

OhCaptain · 29/02/2020 09:22

It’s better for her to have commented on Jodie’s post, to her face so to speak, than continually taking the piss behind her back is it not?

In fairness, a sleeping selfie??

WorraLiberty · 29/02/2020 09:22

Tbh you sound like you can't stand her social media behaviour anyway, so you should have deleted her ages ago.

Bringing "the Caroline Flack thing" into this and wording it like that, is being very unreasonable Hmm

simplekindoflife · 29/02/2020 09:29

I don't think your friend is being a bully. Tbh I think I'd do the same if someone posted a pouting but apparently asleep selfie?! How ridiculous!

It's lighthearted teasing. If you don't want to be a part of it, then just tell her.

If you want to be an even better friend, I'd try to discourage selfie friend from posting stupid self-absorbed, stealth boast crap.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 29/02/2020 09:32

What Elisandra said - and all three of you ought to have your internet facility confiscated.

HairyDogsOfThigh · 29/02/2020 09:32

I think I'd tell your friend that her sending you screen shots taking the piss out of your other friend is making you feel uncomfortable, and would she please stop. If you wanted to soften the message, you could say that you agree that the constant selfies are a bit much, but she is your friend and you don't feel comfortable with talking behind her back.

EssentialHummus · 29/02/2020 09:35

I think I'd tell your friend that her sending you screen shots taking the piss out of your other friend is making you feel uncomfortable, and would she please stop. If you wanted to soften the message, you could say that you agree that the constant selfies are a bit much, but she is your friend and you don't feel comfortable with talking behind her back.

This for me too. Jodie sounds rather insecure but that's hardly a crime.

Strongmummy · 29/02/2020 09:35

Unless Jodie knows about it , I don’t understand the issue. Jodie sounds incredibly irritating and your mates are dealing with the nonsense with humour between themselves. It’s not even cruel. If Jodie were my mate I would probably do her a favour and have a word

Beautiful3 · 29/02/2020 09:42

She sounds annoying and craves attention. The other friend sounds mean but lots of people do this. I would stay out of it. Dont comment. If she sends you more screenshots just say, "please dont send me any more screen shots as it feels mean."

CaptSkippy · 29/02/2020 09:42

They both sound incredibly insecure. I actually feel sorry for 'Jodi'. She has turned herself into a show begging for applause. Your other friend is insecure too, but is expressing it by being snarky at 'Jodi'.

They really ought to sit down together and talk this whole think out. Maybe ask themselves and each other why they are doing this and if it's actually making them happy.

Without even thinking about it we all try to score points for being so called "good women". Two of the ways of doing that is by performing feminity and another is by tearing down other women. In the end both methods can count on a certain level of male approval, which if we are really honest with ourselves, is what it is all about.

Or if you have had enough, just unfollow both so you don't have to deal with it.

Youngatheart00 · 29/02/2020 09:42

TBH someone who updates vacuously like that deserves to have the piss taken out of them.

I’d just say to the screen shotting mate - yeah, I’ve unfollowed her, I don’t want to see her silly updates anymore. And if you need to firmly tell her that also means you don’t want to see her screen shots as well and running commentary then do so.

diddl · 29/02/2020 09:43

Well the friend obviously isn't a friend to Jodie is she?

Much as Jodie leaves herself wide open to piss taking, you'd just roll your eyes or comment yourself, not send on to others to laugh at if you cared at all.

But if Jodie sees comments, she must know her friend is laughing at her?

But sending on to get others to join in-isn't that bullying?

planetcloud · 29/02/2020 09:43

To be honest if I had a friend lie Jodie I would be taking the piss as well - she sounds unhinged.

Cookiecrumble887 · 29/02/2020 09:57

I also don't say anything but tend to unfollow people so I don't have to unfriend them but can't see them. Things like that make me eye roll too. Over hashtagging.

There a women on my face who calls her kid miniginger and hash tags everything they do. #onholiday #dayout #myworld #family #summerof2019 #weareontour #thursdayvibes.

I don't know what a Thursday vibe is lol! People do get on your nerves with what you have described.

She needs to be careful it doesn't get back to her. But just tell her to unfollow her and she won't see it anymore.

GenXer · 29/02/2020 09:59

Unfollow them, stay out of it.

Personally think that Jodie's style of post would be more suited to Instagram.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 29/02/2020 10:05

I've no vested interest in the Caroline Flack story: the poor woman was completely unknown to me until the awful news of her suicide broke the other weekend. But I'm unsure why any mention of her is being deemed so taboo. Surely the only good that can come out of such a tragedy is that it causes people to reflect more carefully on how they treat each other.

This whole situation amounts to schoolyard bullying and is very immature all round (how old are these people)? I'd want to take a step back from it too. No need for profile deletions or wholesale blockings of individuals and the accompanying histrionics. Just stop posting on SM for a bit and hide anything you'd rather not see.

puds11 · 29/02/2020 10:08

If removing them off your social media would result in the end of the friendship then it’s not really a very good friendship is it?

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 29/02/2020 10:18

Not sure if op is coming back but personally I couldn’t be friends with either of them. 1) I can’t stand people like ‘jodie’ each to their own but not for me. 2) I would expect my friends not to be mean like that so couldn’t be friends with someone like that either.

overnightangel · 29/02/2020 10:20

Are you Jodie, OP?

Kikkoman · 29/02/2020 10:23

My gay mate does ALL this!! Even spreads his hair out on the pillow, asleep with pout but obviously taking the picture!!

Most of us just put laughing emojis on it though 😂😂

RortyDogOfTheRemove · 29/02/2020 10:35

This sounds like a Year 9 problem. Someone ought to change all of your wifi passwords, and let you have the new ones when you can all behave nicely.

Brazi103 · 29/02/2020 10:44

Sorry but Jodie is bringing it upon herself. I think both are equally wrong.

Falcor40 · 29/02/2020 10:45

I’m called Jodie

Her Sarah. That you?

😂

Falcor40 · 29/02/2020 10:45

I don’t have Facebook

But it made me laugh!

Mittens030869 · 29/02/2020 10:56

If it was me, I'd unfollow the selfie friend, as her Facebook posts sound annoying. I do this with friends who promote their products all the time. I would unfriend someone who was blatantly mean, though, like your other friend, I hate it when people set out to make fun of someone just to be unkind. It is a form of bullying. I would also be thinking that if she's making fun of another friend, chances are that she's making fun of me as well. We all have our foibles.