Was this weird at best - possibly triggering

[MadameBee]

20 odd years ago I had just found out I was pregnant with my 2nd child, my DD.

I went to the GP (in NZ) to confirm the pregnancy I guess and my EXH was there.

GP was a guy about 55/60 (don’t know if this is relevant) and I was 23.

He insisted on giving me an internal examination (I was about 7/8 weeks pregnant) while my ex watched (no curtain or anything) but (this is the weird bit) the GP made me lie on my side and put the speculum in from behind (so my arse was facing Ex) while explaining to Ex that this way was a lot easier.

To this day it makes me feel really yuck and at the time I felt like the GP was getting off in this.

Firstly the examination was totally unnecessary and the way he did it was almost pervy?

Has anyone else ever had an examination like that?

Have I over thought this?

This was in 1999 I didn’t have the Internet then ......

Lying on side - perfectly fine. Was the examination medically needed - only.dr can answer that. What was it that made you feel so uncomfortable? His manner? The way he talked?

So what tabby?

You’ve not convinced me it’s necessary. Not in the slightest.

"So what tabby?

You’ve not convinced me it’s necessary. Not in the slightest."

Have you not read the other posts after mine, which seem to be from medical experts? It's clearly quite normal.

"This was in 1999 I didn’t have the Internet then ......"

Presume you do now?!

When I was training in the early 1980s we were taught both ways of doing vaginal examinations and some of the older doctors did VEs in left lateral position as a matter of course. There were also no , or very few, ultrasounds so any assessing of early gestation was done by bimanual examination and wasn't unusual. What I am saying is that the actions he took could have been innocent particularly as you were chaperoned by your DH.
The issue is, of course, that you felt uncomfortable which would suggest at best a lack of communication skills and at worst something more sinister. I'm sorry you felt violated.

I think the following facts make it look quite medically acceptable, if not common:
1.Your ex was in the room

1. Left lateral is a legitimate position for internals
2. Internals can be done in early pregnancy to find changes in the cervix

I once had a smear test done like this. Never before or since like that and I’ve never had a problematic or painful test. On that occasion it was an older family doctor who I liked and have no reason to believe he was doing anything untoward. My suspicion at the time was that the practice nurses carried out far more tests (always in the froggy leg position) and he was possibly a bit rusty!

An older male doctor was checking me for something innocuous like an ear infection and made me remove my top- think he was gonna chance his luck and ask for the bra too but luckily I had that 'don't fuck with me mate' look already down at that age!

These men, it's so sad

I've been examined on my side twice, once vaginally while pregnant and the other anally while being diagnosed with appendicitis. I can't explain but I kind of find it more intimate/strange/exposed than being on my back tbh.

@73kittycat73 I think that sounds a normal way to examine the the anus- it's the way I've seen it done on T.V.

I have never felt pain during a smear test done in the “missionary” position.

Lucky, lucky you

I don't know and I can't say in your situation whether something underhand was going on. I know I had an internal ultrasound scan that made me feel very uncomfortable. A lady sonographer was teaching a male doctor and he parted my vaginal lips to put the probe in. I've had internals after and prior to this and there was never any need to do that...just put the probe in.

But i think that it was down to inexperience more than anything and although it did make me feel uncomfortable I thought it through and I guess dealt with it.

Could it just be that this doctor was old fashioned, doing things a bit differently etc. It may have felt uncomfortable all the same. At the ripe old age of 40 I'll happily let anyone inspect me, but I know I was more anxious at a younger age.

@pickletickled

Totally

Lucky, lucky you

I apologise. I had home births too.

I did have cancer aged 16 though so does that forgive me?

At 7 weeks? Why would you internally examine at 7 weeks? I can’t think of a reason.

@Rubyroost

Agreed.

I had an internal examination to check I was pregnant 20 odd years ago, even after doing a pregnancy test, but the GP was female and I can’t remember her using a speculum.

What was the reason for the GP appointment OP? What reason did he give for examining you? I’m in the Uk and only been pregnant twice but I didn’t go to the GP for anything during these - went to EPU for bleeding and community midwife for standard check ups. The GP doesn’t take to do with pregnancy issues at all really here IME. I Didn’t get internal examinations by community midwife at all. At hospital for bleeding I was given an internal scan as was in early pregnancy but not just a general VE. It sounds odd and unusual for a GP to give you a VE at all during pregnancy - you knew you were pregnant and they test for that using urine or blood test anyway. And if there was an issue with bleeding etc they’d just send you to midwife or obstretrics at the hospital not carry out a VE because what would it do/tell him?

They do do things down there when you're pregnant and birthing. When I had my waters broken, legs up, with what looked and felt like a knitting needle that was the worse.

I lay on my side and was examined from the back by several people (hospital doctors, hospital nurse, midwife, district nurse? and GP) when I had my third degree tearing after DS1. Tears were very bad and they were fixing me or checking for infection. They didn't get off on it! Stop over thinking this.

I was 7/8 weeks pregnant.

Not giving birth or heavily pregnant.

@MadameBee - my gynaecologist examined me like that after I’d had a coil put in (to check it was in the right position, if I recall correctly). I used to be a nurse, and hadn’t come across this before, but it didn’t make me feel uncomfortable.

I think it is unusual, but not dodgy. Come to think of it, I think Jennifer Worth describes some of the midwives at Nonnatus House using this position for vaginal exams, in one of the Call The Midwife books.

I accept this is just anecdotal, but I hope it goes some way towards setting your mind at rest.

They do it in early pregnancy because that's when they can see the change in the cervix efc.

I think it was probably all above board OP. Older GP and down to his training. Don't over think it. X

I think you're overthinking this massively. I lay on my side for smears, as it's less painful for me - this is probably what the GP meant when he told you it would be easier.

And if he was planning on doing anything remotely innapropriate, I doubt he would been as brazen as to have done so with your partner right there.