To ask what ridiculous things you did with a baby?

[codenameduchess]

This morning i boiled water in a pan on the hob because I didn't want to risk waking the sleeping baby with the kettle... it only occurred to me as I was pouring the water out how ridiculous that was.

He isn't even a PFB 🤦‍♀️

Anyone care to share their own moments of madness, PFB or otherwise?

I suppose an obvious one would be driving round the block in circles to get them to sleep - anything for a 30 min break!

I was convinced D'S would be traumatised if he woke from a nap/sleep and there was nobody there. So one of us had to be on baby-watch every time he slept. Neither of us ever questioned it.

Sitting awake currently in the middle of night on my bed with 5month old DS sleeping on my arm.
Don’t want to move him and risk him waking 😳
I am not comfortable either

When my DS was about 4 months old we started putting him down awake in his cot to go to sleep himself but we had to help by rocking the cot a bit. He had a snuzpod with the mesh sides so could see us and this would often not help with the going to sleep. I used to lay on the floor so he couldn't see me and rock the cot occasionally having a little peek. Once I was sure he was asleep I had to creep out like a ninja to avoid the creaky floorboard. Also he only ever used to nap in the pram so with white noise so I'd spend ages walking round the house with the snuzshade on and my phone playing sonar noises as it was the only thing that would get him to sleep for his nap.

When DS2 was 5 days old I phoned he maternity ward because he did a weird jerky movement with his face and chest and I was worried he was having a fit...the lady on the phone said he was fine...five mins later he did his first burp

I had a day or two of super anxiety when my milk came in with DS1 too, apart from that I think I've been relatively sensible with them.

Honestly, I don't think there is anything ridiculous about the lengths new parents will go to try to get their babies to sleep. You are in a state of such exhaustion and insanity that if something works once, be it ever so crazy, you are so desperate to see a pattern that you'll try it again, whether it's white noise, driving up and down the same bit of motorway, or walking 16 miles a day with the pram while clutching your CS scar.

I'm sat here peeling grapes and cutting them into long thin pieces for my 8 month old 😂

I gave my newborn her dummy in hospital was delighted I managed to settle her myself. 10 mins later women in bed next to me rang & asked the midwife to steralise her dummy before she gave it to baby. I nearly died I had given it straight from the packet 🤦‍♀️ shes 2 now so obviously it wasn't the catastrophe I thought 😂

We do the hokey pokey to our reflections in the kitchen window every evening waiting for his bottle to cool down. Next door below must think I'm deranged.

so could see us and this would often not help with the going to sleep. I used to lay on the floor so he couldn't see me and rock the cot occasionally having a little peek

Oh, this, x10000

We still do this, no napping has ever been successfully done (seriously, not once) if me or DH are in sight, it's ridiculous

We have to sneak out the dark room using phones for low light too, Hoping to avoid stubbing a toe

There were a few occasions around the 3-5 months mark where I creaked the door or sneezed on the way out... 30 mins of rocking to sleep with a numb arse, hiding from sight... Then baby is woken up !! Argh!!

The things we do 😂

My first went through a phase from around 5-7 months when she would only nap in her play mat with blanket over her face and had to cry herself to sleep so I'd sit in complete silence while this played out checking her breathing until she was asleep so I could uncover her face.

I was obsessed with getting him to nap in his cot from quite a young age. I would spend over an hour rocking/feeding him to sleep then putting him in the cot at which point he would immediately wake up so I'd repeat. Often spending over an hour to get him to have a 20 minute nap in his cot!

no napping has ever been successfully done (seriously, not once) if me or DH are in sight, it's ridiculous

Current baby is the opposite, I must be in line of sight at all times but more often he demands full contact with me. If I put him down he wakes immediately... I've even tried sleeping with his favourite bunny snuggly so it smells like me and he can cuddle it but no success so far

Ok so my first I set an alarm to wake her and feed her all night! Then when I did wake her I’d take her downstairs and turn all the lights on and tv and then wonder why she was nocturnal?!?! Duuhhhh

I remember being so used to rocking the baby or bouncing the bouncer with my foot that once my husband was holding the baby while she was crying and I was eating a bowl of ice cream, I didn't realise that I had started to rock the bowl of ice cream! It must have been all the crying and me being used to doing the rocking motion

We have a small bedroom so dd was always in her own room since coming home from hospital. That seems to be unreasonable to many mnetterss.

My dh had never even held a baby til we had ds. I was so worried he would let him nap on the sofa and go off and get distracted I decided ds would nap on the floor! As soon as he outgrew his bouncer he had a big cushion and a blanket. Worked a treat tbh. Ds used to get his own cushion as a toddler!
Never a worry while I was at work!

With 1st born I was convinced any sound would wake her. So we spent the majority of the day in silence no TV on people has to whisper
Second born I made sure was use to noise from day one. Toddler dd helped alot

I couldn't sleep last night and had a hot chocolate - I also didn't want to turn the kettle on in case it was too loud so I boiled the water in the microwave. My PFB is.... 36 months old

(In my defence he's still not a great sleeper and the kitchen shares a wall with his bedroom.)

DS2 was a demon for refusing to sleep and we worked out (entirely by accident) that the sound of the tumble dryer would send him off - and keep him asleep.

Well, from that moment on the poor child had every nap time next to the giant tumble dryer which he probably assumed was his main parent for some time. Also, I would wash so many things unnecessarily just so I could shove the dryer on. Our clothes were never so clean. Ridiculous.

My brother asked me to babysit my nephew for a weekend. Used the opportunity to dress him up in ridiculous things, draw mustaches and beards on him with my makeup and took pics of him to hang up on my photo wall of family and friends I also sent my brother and his wife a few lovely pics of their old-man child while they were away.

My other nephew from another brother has a tendency to run away so when I was asked to look after him for a day I had bought a kiddie leash in advance. I thought it'd be fun to not only put the kid in a leash, but to also dress him up as a cat. I also returned him to his parents in a cat costume and leash.

@ArtemisOfOrtygia love it 😂 it's the kind of shit i do with my kids (and DH day has given up trying to stop). Baby ds has many, many costumes...

For a few weeks I walked with the pram following the one-way circuit that I was used to driving around.

DH and I used to get up together for middle of the night nappy changes. As if it required two people!

When DD slept in a cot at the foot of our bed, every night DH would check that all the buttons at the bottom of our duvet were still attached, lest one had popped off, flown up in the air, and lodged itself into DD's throat as it landed. It took him months to admit to his level of madness

Not a routine sort of think but once I banged DC’s head (not hard, and against carpet) and then started banging my own head to see if it hurt/would do damage/who the fuck knows. What the actual hell I was thinking I have no idea!