To ask what ridiculous things you did with a baby?

[codenameduchess]

This morning i boiled water in a pan on the hob because I didn't want to risk waking the sleeping baby with the kettle... it only occurred to me as I was pouring the water out how ridiculous that was.

He isn't even a PFB 🤦‍♀️

Anyone care to share their own moments of madness, PFB or otherwise?

*thing

With DC3 (aka, the point at which I should know better) I insisted on having a walk around the shopping centre at five days post-section whilst still tripping balls on various painkillers. This was back when they gave you the good stuff rather than just paracetamol and ibuprofen, I was written up for a lovely combination of diclofenac and oramorph.

I needed some money so parked the pram next to me at the cash point, got my money, and walked off toward DH and the other DC. As I walked past the pram I thought "ha, I have that same one..." It was only once I'd walked as far as the end of the queue that the man at the back of it told me "I think you've forgotten your baby, love".

We once spent about 3 hours taking it in turns walking in circles around our living room with DD in her pram, god knows why we didn't just push her up and down the street, she'd of been asleep in seconds!

The other night i caught DP blowing his warm breath on the wipes to warm them up so he didn't make DD jump

We've probably done a lot of ridiculous things over her short life so far (nearly 3 months) so i'm sure i'll have more to report

I used to move newborn #1 legs in a cycling motion (gently) 5x at every nappy change to build strength and help him straighten them... The MW laughed and pointed out that they were meant to be like that - I'd never met a newborn before and assumed it was because I'd had an EMCS and he didn't get to stretch out on his way out

I absolutely wrecked our rug with #2 as she wouldn't sleep In the evenings unless she was in a moving pram (the bouncier the ride the better!), I rolled the rug up at each end to form humps and watched TV as I bumped her back and forth over them for hours.

DD is 32 now and born in January. I was so terrified of her getting cold in the night that I used to put her to bed with a hat on.

For 11 months I had to lay next to the cot making direct eye contact with my son until he fell asleep (and every night feed) until I gradually got further away so some nights I'd manage to lay in the hallway, hallway night were the best nights! Now I just plop him in his bed and walk away 😂

@Bearfrills haha. Once when DC3 was in the pram I stopped to fasten DC2 coat without putting the brake on. off she rolled.

I confiscated DS1's arms At 5m he broke out in head to toe excema and in order to stop him from scratching his skin to shreds, I put him in a long sleeved vest, then a babygrow, but left his arms by his sides in the babygrow so that he couldn't reach bare skin to scratch to shreds.

He's never been the easiest to get to sleep, but once he's asleep, he's bombproof. Both DCs crashed out on the carpet and I found myself vacuuming around them and using a finer nozzle to work my way around them.

Bounce DS to sleep on a fitness ball (because it was too exhausting otherwise).

Put baby wipes on the radiator so they weren’t cold against her bottom.

When my dd was a bit older (maybe a year?) She'd only fall asleep if she could feel your hand on her tummy, and would stir as soon as you stopped touching her. I worked out some ninja style moves so I could replace my hand with a teddy bear on her tummy, and then have to literally roll out of the room without her realising I'd gone 😂 my heart would be beating so fast I could hear it, with the fear she'd wake up and of have to start the whole process again.

I discovered early on that the sound of my hairdryer caused my second baby to stop moving around, apparently entranced, then settle herself to sleep. For fear of wearing out the hairdryer/wasting electricity I recorded the sound on cassette tape (showing my age and hers!) to play to her whenever necessary. It was very effective

These are hilarious.

I used to use a thermometer to make sure the bath water was exactly 36.6deg before putting pfb in the bath as I was told that was the perfect temperature.

What. An. Idiot.

These are brilliant 😂

Thinking back, with pfb me and dh both used to wake up at every feed/change/cry at night. No idea why, we were both exhausted! Dc2 is bf and we cosleep so dh is in the spare room and hasn't done a single night wake, clearly we're over that!

Some of these are hilarious 😂 @Amanduh that is brilliant !!!!!

When DD was born I was frightened to go to sleep in case something happened so my partner and I would takes turns to lie wake next to her.

I bloody love these threads. So many stories of neglect and abuse in the news and these are the perfect reminder that most parents utterly and completely love their dc and would, quite literally, do anything for them.

My contribution is very slightly warming up cucumber in the microwave so it wouldn’t be a cold shock to pfb ds’ warm, soft little mouth

@FugdeBrownie2019 apparently it sounds exactly like being inside the womb. My granny used to leave me in my basket on top of the washing machine.

DS went through a phase where he was only able to sleep with his face directly on top of mine. IIRC it coincided with him being extremely dribbly and runny of nose.

Vacuuming in the middle of the night, as the sound made him go back to sleep.

I’d change DDs nappies through the night when she was newborn if they showed the faintest dot on the blue line. Was petrified of her getting nappy rash , our washing machine put her to sleep and when the drum finally went it was louder than a fracking machine but it put her to sleep faster, it sounded like we lived on a building site for almost 4 months as I wouldn’t replace it

I wanted to make sure my the first thing my twins saw whenever they woke was something happy, so used to always make sure I was smiling when I went to them. That proved to be unsustainable once the night wakings really kicked in.

I used to feel I had to "entertain " ds1 as a newborn. Used to spend hours enacting nursery rhymes with teddies before his befuddled eyes.
Ds2 got plonked in a baby chair and left to watch his brother twiddling about or me do the housework.

I used to get so mad with DH for making ANY kind of noise when DS was napping. Once I was enraged when he cleared his throat!

Also, the day we brought him home from hospital, we decided our room was too cold so we all moved into the nursery for that first night.... why we didnt just turn the radiator up I'll never know!

I got my then 6-12 month old DS in a routine of sitting in his baby rocker watching babytv whilst I got ready for work. I knew the programmes that were on and he liked them (!). The TV channel suddenly changed its scheduling and so I took to recording the previous days programmes so I could play them in the right order. It took my DH (on a rare day off) to question why I was doing it as baby didn't care what was on the tv he was just amused by the lights and colours.
In my defense, it was because i knew that if the theme tune for a certain programme started, we would be late

Sleep deprivation is pure torture :(