Is this osteopath friendly or Pervy?

[Nochangeplease]

It’s an osteopath that I was referred to by the gp. He is an older man if it matters, maybe 50-60. Obviously it’s necessary to take my top off which is not something I’m completely comfortable with (even with doctors ect) so I’m not sure if being in this uneasy and vulnerable state is skewing my judgement.
The first time I saw him I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable with the conversation a few time’s. Can’t remember details now but over the sessions there have been comments like “I bet you say that to all the boys” as a joke after something I’d said. He often talks of his daughter (17) and wife, which then makes me think he’s just a normal guy.
There was a strange conversation about bras last
Time. We was talking about causes of back pain and he went on to the subject
Of bras, told me that lots of female patients complain about bras and went on to describe a strangely done up bra that a previous patient had on. Said it was cross crossed And he had never seen anything like and she had said she got it in Ann summers and he was surprised as he thought they only sold “saucy knickers and such”. Mentioned his wife was big chested and his daughter looked to be going the same way (in reference to back pain)
He then carries on with normal chit chat but my gut feeling is this is not really appropriate conversation?
But then again, he’s in a position of trust, doing his job and it’s probably entirely innocent and I just feel a bit weird. Aibu?

Mentioning his daughter's chest is horrible. And the Ann Summers reference.

Perv. Maybe not an especially harmful one but perv all the same.

Inappropriate chat I agree. I'd swap.

If you feel uncomfortable find another practitioner

Mentioning his daughters chest is not automatically pervy!
I talk about mine hurting my back with my dad and he would bring it up in a conversation with my mum. We also discuss periods.
It's the modern world not the 1950s.

It sounds worse written down but generally he is just a chatty older man doing his job. I don’t know if I can go back though, which is a shame as I still need it and can’t afford to go private. But the thought of another half hour of feeling uncomfortable is too much.

Perhaps he’s trying to assure you that back pain associated with large breasts is common? But you should still go with your gut!

Even the joke he made, is that really something you say to a woman you’ve just met who is laying down in just her bra, and more than likely already feeling slightly odd about it. As a professional, surely you consider these things. Maybe it’s his age though. Different generation.

Pervy or not, if you are uncomfortable for any reason whatsoever, find a new osteopath.

@AnneJeanne I’m not in that category 😂
I do t even know how it came up becuase it has no relevance to me.

*don't

Your not in Scotland by any chance are you????? I’ve had a similar experience. Creepy if you ask me

If you have no option but to see this chap, can you take a friend along to chaperone you? In almost any setting it’s standard to have a chaperone if you need to remove clothing whilst alone with an opposite sex practitioner.

I completely get what you are saying. Could be friendly but could be slightly creepy.

Not Scotland no.

I could ask for a chaperone, that would make me feel better but I know I won’t, becuase then he’ll know I’ve felt uncomfortable, which will make me more uncomfortable.
I think I might just have to suffer the pain instead.

Sharing details of a previous client's underwear choice is a breach of confidentiality, surely?

I have chronic back pain and have used osteopaths for over 30 years and only a necessary reference would ever be made towards bras. It's hard to judge whether he's inappropriate or not. The reference to saucy knickers is rather odd.
Most osteopaths are very careful about maintaining boundaries and always ask if they need to move a bra strap etc.
If he's a good osteopath and you need the treatment take someone with you.
Or you can wear a thin top and ask to leave it on although treatment may be less effective.

If you're really uncomfortable then you may need you're to get a different osteopath.

@woodn There's a bit of a difference between sharing details of your own body with your own parents and a professional sharing details of his underage daughter's body with a patient.

Yeah he’s unprofessional and pushing at your boundaries. I don’t like it. I wouldn’t go back.

I would stay away. I had an experience with physio 10 years ago where I definitely didn't like the way I was touched, more than once. And the associated commentary (top of leg issue. Sure I don't need to say more). I berate myself for having not reported it.

Recommending patients wear a good supportive bra if they are presenting with thoracic spine pain is appropriate.

Mentioning Ann Summers and his wife's daughter's breasts has strayed immediately into inappropriate.

If you want to take this further then contact the General Osteopathic Council which is the registration body for osteopaths.

Hi OP,

I would feel uncomfortable too. I don't see why you should suffer the pain though. Are there any other NHS chiropractors you could be referred to instead? I think you have every right to ask.
Maybe ask if you could be referred to a female and say something like you don't feel comfortable in your underwear being treated by a man. But you shouldn't really have to explain why.

Good luck, I hope you can get this sorted and are soon pain free.

Complain to the professional body - these people are regulated and behaviour like this is inappropriate and too common. Sadly people just change to a less pervy one so they keep on doing it. I appreciate you may not want to be bothered though.

He sounds creepy. In situations where I doubt myself if the person is being inappropriate, I ask myself “Would my dad say that?” or “would I be happy if DH said that to someone?” The answer is usually a resounding no!

I'm sorry I should have written Osteopath not chiropractor! I'm still half asleep!

Tricky to say but conversation about bras is actually really relevant to low back pain as it can have a huge impact if you wear the wrong one. The talk of his daughter could just be trying to make you actually feel less embarrassed as he may be trying to suggest it’s a common problem. The Ann summers commment is not breaching confidentiality unless he is naming the patient or making her identifiable however I can see it may have been a bit cringe. Ultimately if you are uncomfortable and feel you would be more comfortable with an alternative practitioner swap but they will all and should ask you to take your top off for a proper examination unless you specifically request not to but then be aware that the assessment may not be as accurate.

“ Pervy or not, if you are uncomfortable for any reason whatsoever, find a new osteopath.”

I don’t know whether it was harmless chitchat, or verging into Percy territory, but @landsparticuscleg sums it up. You feel uncomfortable with this practitioner, so find another one. Maybe if you do change, drop him a friendly email explaining how you found his ‘banter’ a little bit off. If he’s a genuine bloke, he’ll reign his chit chat in.